Social Accountability

Cyberbullying affected both of my children when they were in grades elementary to high school.

The ability for students to post videos and make public comments “outing” other children and defaming their reputation (with or without real data) spreads rapidly through the internet like wildfire, and there is no immediate check system put in place to stop this, nor any real consequences.

By the time parents and any authorities were contacted, damage to my children’s social status was already done, and there were no reparations required to be made publicly. This caused embarrassment and humiliation that could not be overcome within the educational system.

I chose to transfer my children to independent studies and charter schools, then supported both of their testing out of high school to give them a chance to start over again by entering city college early, where they could hope to engage in a more mature environment where cyberbullying was cause for expulsion.

This, however, did rob my children of connecting with peers their age and finishing with their high school diplomas. They also struggled with social anxiety for many years because their having to leave public school made them feel like societal outcasts.

The rush of damaging other people’s reputations can make youth feel powerful, and the behavior becomes addictive. It isn’t just about being popular, but that other people’s lives can be destroyed by callous internet photos, videos, innuendos, and statements.

When I was a child, bullying was terrible – true. But, we had the advantage of it taking time for rumor and innuendo to circulate; we had a chance to counteract it, personally, more effectively because hearsay was based upon word-of-mouth and personally-direct interactions.

These days, you can blink – and your reputation is suddenly ruined: once someone soils it, there is almost no way to regain your good name and status as people’s interest in sensationalism propagates misinformation.

How do we stop cyberbullying? Certainly, it is necessary to create a culture that speaks out against it, no longer allows such behavior to have weight in argument, and has instant consequences against those people who thrive on and support it.

But, more importantly, we need to again cultivate good social values of inclusivity, teaching that nurturing and supporting one another is the best way to have a safe and positively-productive society. If a mistake is made, equal (if not more so) efforts must be made to personally and publicly apologize.

After all, cyberbullying is more of a symptom, than a cause: we’ve just been distracted by its actions and results into labeling it as the culprit. When we again value personal accountability and treating one another with respect and honor, cyberbullying will be an experience of the past – because it’s no longer an option.