Mutual Responsibility

I recently had a pet caregiver tending to our animals while we went away for a trip. While we were gone, she left one of the cats loose in our house instead of putting her back in the cattery, refusing to capture it.

She did not leave it with the litter box on the porch placed inside, and I came home to my bed being crowned with cat poo and saturated by urine through layers of blankets, sheets, mattress protectors, and into the expensive foam pad.

The cat also peed on piles of sheets in folded laundry, and on our nice loveseat couch. We were lucky she did not get injured by a fan we left on – which with an untended cat can be an electrical fire hazard – and that she did not decide to go after our beta fish in bowls, or try to get the gecko in its cage.

Arriving home late at night to this disaster, we also noted that our chickens were in distress from not having enough food and water. They have been recovering from some sort of illness and needed to have plenty to help their immune systems regulate.

The lady did not apologize for leaving the cat out, stating she had better things to do than chase a cat. She did not apologize for the resultant damage, and said there had been “adequate” food and water when she’d come by in the morning, rather than filling dishes and containers as I had asked her to.

Every person I’ve spoken with about this situation has said they would not pay her for that week due to all the damage that was caused by her apparently willful negligence. She even attempted to hide under her normal business contract as an extension to the favor of helping me out (which I did not sign for my home) that she claims protects her from any liability.

I offered to pay her for half of her two day visits to be more than fair to her at least partial efforts to help me, though her negligence would cost me several hundreds of dollars if I were to replace everything that now smells of cat excrements.

I wanted her to feel appreciated, yet to share the burden of responsibility. To honor me in return by taking accountability.

She basically told me to go F*** myself and felt wronged no matter my efforts, determined I should pay for everything – and then refused any payment.

If I sent her a money order for the full amount she would have earned, does that help anything?

Some would argue, then how is any lesson learned?

But, maybe I already made my point, and her harsh, unyielding reaction is indicative of a woman who has experienced too much suffering in her life.

Perhaps there is no winning, but an attempt by my gesture to provide any soothing could be worthy.

A simple note with the money saying, “Thank you. I appreciate your efforts.”

i’d expect nothing in return, for her pride is likely too wounded, and she’d need to be boastful “how she won our disagreement” by withholding ending things amicably, as I’d requested.

“No one sees when the unicorn bows before them, as its horn that could damage instead yields its blessings.” – Me

I already won the game by her attempts to leverage me being thwarted so all she could do was fold.

It isn’t fun for me if we are not both winning. I’d rather leave the relationship with her feeling redeemed.

(I ended up not sending payment, and leaving the issue alone – as her “middle finger” requested. It seemed more important that she get to resent me.)