Unsettled

A few days ago upon our return home, we smelled a clear change in the seasons after the rain passed and left summer’s slate washed clean. 

Before it was officially declared Fall, we could feel that Fall had suddenly arrived. Energies seemed to have been released that were trapped under summer’s heat, set free to work their mischief.

One evening as we went up the hill to tend to the livestock, my pup wove back and forth erratically and finally succeeded in accidentally tripping me.

I fell hard on my left side, catching myself on my left hip with left hand out, arm impacting up into left shoulder.

I yelled out my pup’s name in outrage and hurt, and she came instantly to kiss my face and reassure me that she was sorry and cared for me (so sweet and kind!).

Later, the muscles in my left palm and wrist were strained and inflamed, and my left shoulder tells me it has suffered some micro strains in muscle fiber attachments.

This impact’s event sent jarring alarm through my system, and I have since been jittery with my heart doing occasional quiver-flutters.

My body slamming onto the slanted ground detonated the state of fight or flight reaction, trapped struggling within muscle lockdown for protection’s “freeze.”

I have since felt in a state of alarm, and with my defensive muscles auto-countering any natural move I would normally make, getting anything physical accomplished has felt like a real fight.

I have been reacting angrily with unfettered frustration during home chores – and cussing.

Now, as we revisit the community we wish to move to, summer vacationers are returning and where we are staying is having more hard-luck warriors gathering to see what “fun” they can get into.

The energies seem to be flying all around me, as if everything has ingested at least a tiny piece of Flubber – like in the movie starring Robin Williams.

I feel as if everything is suddenly shifting around, and I am not sure where – if anywhere – there is safe grounding. 

Maybe I am tired and just need more sleep. It’s unnerving to no longer feel summer’s familiar patterns to identify with.