Shell-shocked

I just always figured that if I continued to be good, this would reassure others that they could be good – and if we had enough people choosing always to be good, then this would turn the tide in our favor.

Experiencing first-hand the lies and sequential trauma passed down through generations, and how governments, politics, and corporations – and any form of “evil” or negation has harmed by direct assault to subtle manipulation – it became clear to me that we have been divided as these influences have been “conquering.”

I’m still in shock that where I’ve invested did not result in yields I needed. I am supposed to rest on vague laurels that my influence helped others to succeed while somehow they deemed me worth discarding.

I don’t understand it. I didn’t deserve this treatment. It must be more symptomatic of how desperately everyone needs to be able to uncover themselves and reclaim their own identity.

There seems no room for attachment, real friendship, nor fidelity. And now I’ve learned by need for survival to also keep myself distant.

It’s become a self-propagating system within society that we march to the antipathy of disregulation.