To “Rest In My Skin”

Hypervigilance and repetetive stress response to fleeting stability again becoming unstable takes its toll on a fight or flight cortisol system.

Unable to choose “freeze” as an option due to need to keep moving, body auto-locks down against muscle movement because it wants to stop moving “for safety.”

I remember when the sensation first happened over ten years ago, and how hard I fought against it For if it had won then, I would not have been functional for my children.

It is very vexing to feel hunted and haunted by such a mechanism. I keep fighting to overcome it instead of it overwhelming me – because if I am “the carrier,” I must also be “the solution.”