Month: August 2022

Before, it was better to hide and blend. Now, it’s time people comprehend.

What used to frighten begins to show recognizable patterns, and can be timed for safe gaps for crossing between, accordingly.

My youngling and I reflected last evening how this year we have not felt the constant fear that wildfires would come and overtake us.

Not because where we reside currently is necessarily safer, but because we are no longer living isolated on a mountain.

Versions of a man keep trying to attach to me – and I keep blocking and reporting them as my own kind of personal retribution.

I would not wish to “disrupt your success.”

For isn’t it true that you prize Fame over Glory?

It is the partner who comprehends and sees ramifications that stays to hold together the family, while the other abdicates cohesive dictates and abandons ship for their own individuality.

We are told here in America by media and subliminal marketing, by the viral thinking implanted into our society to keep us buying into Capitalism for continous relining of the obscenely rich’s pockets, that it is preferable that we each “go it alone” rather than investing with family and community.

Unfortunately, my open-heart-to-bonding-and-sharing has had the above messaging negatively reinforced by experiencing loss, grief, and betrayal in dispraportionately large amounts, making it seem that “being on my own” is the main key to my remnant family’s survival.

When I saw Vanilla Sky, the movie’s thematics gave me insights not necessarily related, but deep into my then husband’s psychology.

I began realizing that certain effects from his accidents were becoming irreversible and I cried as the harsh truth of this overtook me.

It was never an option for me to leave him – especially because we now had children. I was “in it to win it” for him and for our family.

I thought to myself, “I guess this is life. We don’t get to choose how it happens, but we can do our best to make it happy.”

I reached deep into my core reserves to continue mustering determination’s bravery.

Have you had enough consistency that now you just flow easily from one day’s thematic to another?

Or are you like me where you still struggle against internal barriers and weakness, trying to get stronger?

Have you ever been going so hard and so long that it takes time to?

Today, I stopped an officer and asked him a question.

I realized that I liked the way he spoke, his stance, and the way he thought clearly.

And with number messages claiming my guy is already in my life, I considered a bit of romance.

Today I begin marketing to more clinics and investigating my qualifying to buy us a house.

We need to be in a house and community that represents and supports our values and priorities.

Pushing boundaries by
Overcoming limitations.

Who am I at day’s end?
I hardly recognize me.

When a hunter horse on the course sees a jump approaching, it pricks its ears forward at full attention and gathers itself for the leap.

If you aim very high, sometimes society takes you more seriously.

If you aim for moderation, there seems to be more competition.

I was just given free ice cream from a store clerk when she couldn’t help me with the coupon, and then I felt too tight on money to give a tip at a take out restaurant.

If this is what paying extremely high rent is going to do to me, I am not sure that is the path that I should be taking. Being able to be generous with others is part of my life’s enjoyment.

I went back to give a tip. The door was locked, so I knocked. A very tired woman came to open it and was surprised and pleased, though frazzled.

An act of kindness can help when someone most needs encouragement. Maybe I also need positive reinforcement.

It is strange to realize how little status credit I have given myself for being a constant innovator.

I guess the mediatized conformist “walk accepted standardized paths” messaging has imposed subliminally.

In this case, am I still experiencing a disconnect by what I do, which I know is worthwhile, vs. what others praise as “the norm?”

Clearly, somewhere in my deep encoding, I have some extra baggage to start offloading.

I was sharing with someone whom I esteem yesterday how I had applied for a house that would suit us, contrary to the current theme of “lack and limitations.”

At first, she was positive and supportive, but then went on to tell me horror stories about women who had been successful – but then fluke accidents had taken away everything from them.

Moral of their stories: do not try, for even if you succeed, you will fail.

I must believe that there is more to life than fear and chaotic devastation.

I see people living lives that they value all of the time.

I want in on this, and therefore, I must innovate solutions to the equation.

Did you know what I was before –
And what I would become, after?

It began as a story where at first, I led.
Then, my youngling grew into forging.

Do we live our dreams today – or keep waiting for some day, tomorrow?

It is one thing to have dreams and aspirations we are rowing toward, yet at times we cannot help but let the current carry us where it wills.

This morning’s walk yielded the first bee sting our pup has acquired.

I am pretty sure that it was one of those mean bastard meat bees that keeps biting for the joy of it because those are the kind that I saw buzzing along the ground where she had been snorfling.

She kept shaking her head and I thought it got her nose. But, upon retrieving her this evening, it turns out it got her ear – and Wow! It is SWOLLEN!

Puffed up like bread that has risen, poor baby – so I gave her some liquid Benadryl from a capsule and now she seems more comfy.

Cats demanding, dogs whining, timelines rushing – and no desk set up for ease of producing.

Having a marketable skill in a receptive community allows one to test and push their limits to a new level. I am not sure moving into extremes is the best thing, but in these times, it’s either rapidly expand and excel – or lose everything.

I have recently heard of two cases where good people met their loves on this app, which by now has a reputation for good matches being unusual.