Month: August 2022

It is interesting to be back in the place where we first began our foothold last year.

Merely glancing at myself in the mirror because time and pressure dictate brevity, I note the golden-red sunburning and pumped-up shoulders with chest swelling strong and assured from underneath a black, sweaty tank top.

I may be carrying more weight around the middle now than back then, but my being’s core impetus is at last beginning to influence my surrounding circumstantial environments.

The printer, having helped until the end, now plays “mother, may I?” by not responding until I find it the perfect insert into plug, change its ink cartridge, print the test page and scan it, and then find it paper.

Ok, good to go!

Meanwhile, the various cords and precarious positioning on a cardboard box on-the-ground stand for the printer and gravity play havoc with energetic elements entangling my legs hanging over the edge of the bed – begging me to make a slight mistake in management so that my laptop will hard crash into the ground.

Yes…I know your intentions!

I have awoken before my body has fully reset to have time to prepare for today’s independent work schedule, foolishly thinking that somehow I would have managed to coordinate the unloading of a 20 foot truck full of plants while still making it to my work venue which from the unloading location would be 40 minutes.

Whereupon, as consciousness trickles back into my rebooting awareness, I realize I must print out new intake forms; my phone has been missing (please let it be in the car!); I still need to finish clinic notes for the doctor; and I have to stop by storage to gather all of my therapy supplies.

It becomes clear that my phone’s absence has stopped me from making a fool of myself by calling people and over-planning a schedule before work that I had no way of completing.

We are finally moved out!

We landed at 5am, the cats yowled, other guests complained. Later at work, I’m called – is the lodging going to kick us out after they promised safe haven?

A scammer has seized contents of another ad in an attempt to entice us with housing.

I have met an amazing leader pioneering an aspect of sustainability for now and future community.

My physical therapist called to tell me the clinic is evicting me because I have had emergencies. The anxietal pit gnawing in my stomach prompts me to challenge it.

I make a declaration to the universe as another person bears witness to hearing my pipe dream of working with a certain person I highly esteem.

The location of the scammed house turns out to be next to campus, and the ease of the location gave me a sense of what it would feel like to have one version of open access to obtaining my dreams.

What would it be like to nestle into the community and be seen aa valid and worthy?

Maybe “normal” is what we train ourselves to perceive it to be…

For day after day it never seemed to end – these swirling patterns of packing, hauling, organizing, and cleaning up and down level, rough, and ramp-steppped terrains – much in the grueling toil-sweat bake within the airless inferno of a moving van’s hot box oven.

Fatigue-sick from sleep deprivation and overwork’s fugue, at last lying down in a bed with oversized comfy pillows and barely able to move from cramping aches and spasms, why is it that one mosquito bite conscripts all awareness?

I thank God my work schedule today has turned out to be light and reflect upon how the apartment had provided and sheltered, while at the same time severely limited our possibilities.

The plants still remain to be gathered, and my body has declared in no uncertain terms that I better get help with that!

The move is still not over…ugh.

It wasn’t about whether or not – but how he would convey the stories.

She had taken the leap and given away the shirt and tie for him and the dress she would have worn for their wedding.

It had been hard, but decisively she’d done it. And, even now, she could still see them in her mind, feel their textures, and remember the plans they’d once had.

But, when it came time to give away the hijab-like soft cotton coverings that women wore for prayer that she had been gifted by his mother, she kept catching an elusive remnant exotic perfume scent of having been back in Egypt

She remembered the Call to Prayer and the feeling of being included and a part of something that felt Holy.

She had intended to give these items away because she did not want to be another martyr, conscripted by yet another peoples’ set of indoctrinational shackles.

However, she realized that she was not ready to part with the feeling of how close she’d been to other peoples’ families – a witness to interwoven continuity of endurant Belief in community.

By need and chance, I am getting connected with local sustainability enthusiasts!

The emotions prodded her jarringly to say mean things – to lash out in fear, pain, and horror at the injustice and inhumanity – but instead, she kept fighting for control to remain silent so that she could just get everything managed in time for leaving.

I may have found a place where I can store the plants, just in time for our final phase of moveout.

Cold, light yellow plums bursting with sweet juice and an oh-so-sour skin straight from the tree, and my youngling’s fabulous, lovingly-tended-to-perfection pecan-blueberry coffee cake.

Last minute thrift seeking for final things we need, I happened by a scarf rack and was drawn to the beauty of some of what they displayed.

Then, upon acknowledging that I very much liked one in particular, I realized that it had been mine – accidentally thrown by haste into the donation box I had dropped off – and repurchased it!

I had a cute end to a dream which had me silly-chuckling out loud from my sleep into the reality outside my dreaming that the reason we don’t often see Superman behind the scenes is that sometimes his body contortion to get flying is off-sync, and he is floating in mid air just flagellate-inch-worming while trying to get his powerful muscles coordinated. Watching this and laughing would not be PC.

Having let the pup loose, she now paces, whining, and coming into my room has turned on the sensor lamp temporarily placed on the floor from zero to three levels of brightness with her nose.

A new earring popped free and disappeared while unloading; my new phone fell flat onto hard concrete, cracking the safety screen; and final packing/cleaning details are left up to me as my youngling’s foot is incapacitoried.

Doo-doo dee dee.dee.dee!

When cultivating a dream, one cannot always focus upon and chase money, especially when dealing with life-altering emergencies.

And yet, it would be nice if one could count on the followthrough of others.

I guess being let down just blares more loudly when one is hanging on by a thread.

Order is temporary illusion.

My youngling breaks their toe.

Should I just give up?

Lol.