Month: August 2022

She got her car back after asking a friend to come with her so she could think straight and not get further intimidated.

The mechanic immediately launched into a loud tirade, of which she was able to counter each outrageous statement as she listened carefully, observing her voice volume rising to match and counter while keeping clarity.

When he at last stated what he wanted and she saw it was reasonable – in fact, that it never would have been a problem, had he just asked her for it from tbe beginning – she cut through his tirade and reached out to take his hand in agreement.

“I like you. I have no problem with this. Let’s do it. Let’s write up the new contract. YES.”

And the conversation deescalated as they came back out as amicable collaborators returned to the road of building trust and friendship.

What was the purpose of such prior mistrust and emotional charging? Why the incurred stress and need to gear up for battle – the sword waving and poundimg on shields to prove their mettle?

Shakey on tbe otherside, she was confused by remnant fight-flight struggle and realized this was a rare time when someone had pushed at her this hard and then the situation ended up well.

As I maneuvered the moving truck, I waited until the right was clear before merging – yet, some guy came barrelling up behind me, throwing a fit at me for getting in his way by honking extremely.

Of course, I slowed down further, not knowing what he planned to do with his volatility as he swerved wildly around behind me and decided he would speed past me on the right and then slow down in front of me.

Clearly, he wanted to make me angry and acknowledge how big he was for getting back at me. He wanted to engage me in the drama of his jacked-uppery.

So, I just leaned back and gestured big and bright as I kissed my hands to him and called, “I love you! I love you! I love you!” And, I kept smiling.

He hated that and needed to escalate further, so would speed up, then slow down, and finally put on his left turn signal, impatiently having to wait for other cars to pass to get into position.

Then, he slowed down with the passenger’s side open and lined up with me as I carefully eased by while his white girlfriend in the passenger’s seat stared glued to her phone in front of her, trying to not be seen.

Smiling with white-flashing teeth like the leaned-out pimp he was, he threw a crushed and sharp-disked can at me with an arced precision that let you know he had practiced this back home on the streets of his hood – and that he could “cut you good.”

It missed my window by not much and hard-crack-thunked into the cab wall next to it, but I kept smiling because he’d taken his shot – and I threw more big kisses while again shouting big and bold,”I love you! I love you! I love you!”

For a moment, I was grateful that I could not remember previous associations that had kept me hypervigilant.

I had been sucked down the rabbit hole of internal terror when that sorcerer from another dimension managed again to capture my attention.

His thrall was something I could not easily look away from: I had to allow myself to be drawn through the eye of a needle, down into and through that blackhole of obsolescence as I nearly lost my identity.

It’s how he has had some power over me, you see? He has been there for a while, terrorizing my sanctity. Such a small, shallow soul full of spiteful enmity, laughing at my struggling to keep in the light while he’d undermine me.

Yet, as I braced into the fear and turned toward it as I began suffocating, the gravity well compressed me inward and I lost track of time and what has beleagered me.

Such inconsequence these other mortals cling to that has entrapped me. I must endeavor with greater purpose to set my self free of societal misperceiving.

She couldn’t sleep well last night – in fact, she was still shaking with adrenaline. She could not stop the physical reaction when feeling endangered as every cell screamed “Take it to the mattresses!”

So after investigating her rights and options, she weighed what it would take to resolve the issue positively vs. what to do if “worse came to worse,” and then called the mechanic.

She told him in a pleasantly inclusive but firm and calm voice that she would be picking up her car at the original price agreement, and that they could then discuss the next phase because they worked better together in person.

Getting off the phone, she reflected he had been wary, but receptive. Her body continued shaking uncontrollably at this next level need for taking command over her own emotions and another’s fear-based projections.