Month: September 2022

More of a guide than a dictate.

Being silent can lend an air of mysterious allegience, whereas speaking any truth can be taken as agreement if people mislabel you.

Ghostbusters reference: dogs pulling me down the stairs while weaving in front of me in patterns threatening to topple

They say it is best to not need someone; to be happy to go it alone; to prize the self above others.

While I agree with some basic healthful tenants of this in that you must know thyself well to have a real chance of creating and maintaining a loving and functional relationship, these extreme dictates seem a bit heavy-handed to me.

(Title poking fun at tenants and myself)

One thing about being a hybrid is that many traits usually ascribed to the elements of my mixture do not accurately describe my tendencies.

When we arrived last year, we needed a base to rest and to get a foothold.

Now, we have advanced employment and need a foundation to build upon.

“I want you ‘here’ – ‘present’ in whatever we do,” she said. “I just can’t be pining while my love is ‘far away’ – like I used to. I need you Real, Solid – Attentiive and Responsive.”

Needs her own den, surrounded by happiness, knowing her children are well cared for.

I would put the “No Trespassing: We are Tired Of Hiding The Bodies” sign on the outside of my bedroom door.

Yeeesss.

(Satisfied chuckling)

My youngling takes such good care of our family of animals that I’d rather they all have the large, bright and happy room together – and I have the small darker one, where I can seclude from any overstim.

“Your happiness is more important than my own – because if you are happy, I am happy.”

Just venting for my soul’s salvation.

There is a certain look that long term residents here have about their appearance that runs consistent across the board, whether male or female. Stress is either trying to kill me or convert me.

Pup in the car kept soft-nosing me with her cute whiskers and my neck kept crimping, shoulders were shoved in bad angles from seat, and light from outside lamps kept burning into my eye holes.

How do you dislodge negative judgment?

I just hurt.

When you are living on the edge, you don’t get to stay within the limits of “normalcy.” And because you are working oitside the parameters of other people’s schedules and expectations, this can increase the feeling of not belonging.

She had this vision, feeling innately driven, ever since she realized who it was from the beginning.

Sense of it began at first as the greatest of all improbabilities, causing severe anxiety and discomfort.

But then, as she began rebuilding her core assertions, she could see the steps form across a rainbow bridge, leading through the air.

Some thematics never change: when you are royalty among vagabonds, it is best to not draw attention.

By being present in this moment, she asserted that they would find a way through – even though the data seemed prohibitive.

Too soon, summer comes to an end.

What fed into system sudden surge endurance?

How to accommodate replenishing while resting?

The Task: Hold ground.

The Game: Strategize for better position.

When a person wants a home, yet circumstances keep ejecting, it seems that wanting something you cannot have has become delusional.