I let the song express the emotions for me.
I cannot afford the energy expenditure, nor the cbemical saturation in my brain that comes with expressing grieving.
Month: September 2022
I Hate The Grind
Of being on the edge of losing everything. Of asking the gas station for water to help the tree. Of being told to live out of my car to qualify. Of waiting for the tide to turn for or more against me.
For when you are ousted from your home due to another person’s merely personally preferential proclivities, getting back into a realm of security in this economy is much harder than it seems or should be.
(Drop Of Sorrow – Mario M)
Just Stopping
Pushing hard to reach new levels requires pausing and taking time to address emotions.
“Bridgeway”
“Half Moon”
Here Or There?
When I wanted to, you were not there.
If you wanted to, would you show care?
Existentialism
A popular term is “existential crisis,” but what is really going on is a deeper evaluation beyond face values that we have been taught to adhere to.
Public Opinion
Is it better to be more one’s true self or to propagate ideals confounding?
Seasons
The same songs and feelings circulate depending upon what’s occurring in different circumstantial regions. I am always trying to improve my life, but generally have the same reasons.
Saving Grace
Loneliness can drive a person to settle for less than what they believe.
Should I wait another life’s time – and possibly more – for you to recognize me?
Extreme frustration and railing at the waste makes me want to pound a tree.
Having been with people who did not appreciate my worth – at least now I can learn to shrug off that baggage.
But I ache to know what we can be if we brave shrugging off ego’s insanity.
Beyond Risk
Being with him was a concept I was definitely open to.
Not because of his status, but because of what within him had driven him to be there.
But, I freaked out and made a fool of myself.
Duress does not suit well like a well-tailored dress.
I guess I was just afraid that our story would play out to where he wouldn’t be capable of being as strong as I have been.
And if we were going to be in the public eye, I didn’t want to have my resultant grief laid wide open for people to stick their fingers in it.
I got ahead of myself, playing out a tangent of possibility according to past negative trends.
It was because he was so important to me – and for once I realized that I needed to be as equally, if not more so, important to him.
Yet, what was his fault was that he did not reach across the space and time divide to show me how these fences can mend.
That had been in the second dream, you see.
In that one, he helped me fix my family’s gate along a forest lane, and told me that he loved me.
Climbing Ranks
When I was “no one,” my opinion was my own.
Becoming “someone” requires me to mask true identity.
I must find my new “perfect balance.”
“Secret Garden”
To Be Honest,
We are both quite relieved.
Something felt off about the arrangement, and now we won’t be spending so much money.
(Sway – Rosemary Clooney)
Hear the ticking off beats…
Ticking Off Numbers
Our momentum continues regeneration.
Carnage
The property management company gave the rental to someone else out from under us.
“Sky Lines”
See the new moon in upper center?
“Canopy”
“Butterfly Bush”
Zoom in…
Improvisation: Vibrating Stretch Foam Roller
Since no one does my therapeutic techniques, I must get creative to loosen my muscular torque tensions.
“Laws” Of Attraction
Who thought up the rule of “you must not want a relationship in order for a good relationship to find you.”
What?!?
Are we supposed to go around with one eye open and one eye closed saying,”I’m not really looking” while looking?
How does this start us out on authentic footing?
A “Simple” Desire
I have a dream to someday walk straight again without severe anterior internal hip rotation.
Nomenclature
How do I breakthrough my own riddle?
“Rags To Riches”
It can happen overnight, so I work to be ready.
“Bathed In Blue”
(Beautiful Red Dress – Laurie Anderson)
“Night And Day”
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