Month: October 2022

I do not feel comfortable about anything right now.

I don’t like exposing my feelings when I do not feel that I am standing on solid ground.

“Solid ground” is a “reality” illusion based upon circumstances “going your way.”

When in a state of deconstruction, what one can count upon feels slippery.

The bruising made her shut down and avoid associated stimulus.

The heart refuses to be buried, once it has found its purpose.

Someone who wholly and fully aligns with who I am at the core. Someone who matches my values, honesty, and loyalty…

Whenever it feels oppressed or suppressed, my love ignites to blast through walls and fly free.

It hurts in whatever form, which takes energy to recover from and down time for nursing wounds – an expenditure that I cannot afford right now.

So we look for housing that has some odds in our favor, and do not apply to the others that would waste labor.

The same can be said for applying for opportunities. They need to have around them the sense of right timing.

Whether in work or love, I do not venture where it seems that I may not be wanted.

When I feel vulnerable, my heart is just too tender.

He followed my Instagram again last night, and when I blocked him, he reported my account to disrupt my service.

A**hole.

The course I have had on Incomplete is due in December.

No more extensions are possible, and if I do not complete it, it likely jeopardizes my ability to finish my Bachelor’s degree.

Rules, policies, “academic progress.”

Do they truly consider it a judgement against personal abilities if continued risk of, and then prolonged homelessness, creates an external circumstantial exacerbation preventing a student’s followthrough?

With the economy such as it currently is, it seems like there should be more flex to the “rules.”

They say that if you want something, you should expand your abilities to achieve it. But sometimes what you want may be a delicate matter, and requires caution to navigate into best position.

It is, perhaps, an expensive luxury to have an “undisciplined” mind. However, having one that is too disciplined can also be a catecombed trap.

It contains the remnants of what once was “goodie.”

Now, say this five times fast.

That I would be desperately combing the streets and pouring over the same ads yielding nothing until my eyes pop and bleed.

But, No.

I cannot afford to waste precious energy.

I miss my freezer pizza, baked hot to dip into ranch – and the ability to make crunchy cookies!

We are successful here.

We can continue to be so.

I must deem it “good enough.”

In the original Dune movie, surviving the test of pain prooves that you are human, rather than animal. So what does that make those of us continually trapped within pain’s suffering?

If my family is unhappy, it is hard for me to concentrate. Being without a home exacerbates.

“I respected him.

Believed in him.

Trusted him

And he turned against me.”

Pain makes me emit energy in waves how I do not want to.

At what point will my neck and shoulder torsion just recallibrate?

I had contacted a friend about finding an agency that would take over and assist the tree’s plight for me.

I did not follow through on this line of inquiry once I received a name and number, nor did I attempt to publicize the issue such as with the brief article I had written.

I just finally figured that the elements associated were complicated enough, and that I had already established myself as the dedicated “midnight run” water advocate.

I did not want to cause a public scene – nor risk being barred from the site by becoming considered as an “agitator.”

The tree was technically on “public domain,” so the best way to retain capability to help it was to continue my role as a “good citizen.”

The tree’s task is to survive independently, and so I dedicated myself to helping it be able to restabilize its damaged root system through the wilting heat of summer, giving it some positive reinforcement to hold on for reaching the ease of fall and the energetic release of being able to go dormant in winter.

I went through the process of thinking through to the best course of action, where many people would have simply walked away from the issue from not initially knowing what they could do.

The tree and I found an agreement that we could both commit to.

I, like Jenny, chose to relinquish my powers as a dragon to remain with the man I loved and care for him as a human.

But, unlike Jenny’s story, in the end “my man” rejected my magic in favor of turning inward to propagate his own “science.”

It is not a joyous experience to give up your heart’s blood to the spear of a beloved one’s negating your core essence.

Will I meet another dragon who will help me claim love’s brilliance?

Creating the lifestyle that will lead me to the lifestyle that I want has been a bit challenging.

The process has required me to analyze various available employment opportunities vs sticking with my current part-time clinic and keeping myself adaptable to wherever I am needed in therapeutic independent contracting.

I have chosen this focus of strategizing to prepare myself for greater opportunities where I may be traveling to assist certain “celebrities.”

I like nurturing wherever I am and traveling to expand concepts and connections.

When it catches up to you, life can seem effortless.

The young pup that was sick died yesterday.

I knew him. He was a good boy.

I tried “settling” in the past with former relationships.

Now I plan for more satisfaction due to better strategy.

The roles we fill may or may not match what we first thought were necessary.

But we may find ourselves in a better place – more so than ever before.

Stating my opinion when I do not agree with something is not necessarily the most productive.