Month: October 2022

She wondered who she might have been, had she gone through the portal later.

Had this been her sole decision – or had they planned for this, together.

All she knew was that they were at this phase now, and she was in a position to help him.

It is love that fuels me into the future.

What forms it takes are yet to be determined.

A difficult challenge is ignoring the impressions I pick up from this temporary “residence.”

I thrive much better where positivity lends easily its benefit.

When she would begin to panic, the energy in her wing blades would begin to tense and quiver, threatening to erupt another migraine – so she would attempt to divert the energy productively by imagining her body gathering for the leap, and then flying.

Her consciousness went everywhere, making it hard at times to contain and direct it.

It permeated her own mind’s blood-brain barriers like an overpowering diffusion, bleeding into everything.

She had always just existed, transmitting without knowing.

Now that he was present, she was embarrassed to discover how little she had done her mind’s “housekeeping.”

My art is guided by inspiration.

Spirit moves through me, interpreted by my own.

She didn’t interfere – in fact, she’d had no knowledge of what was coming.

But when she had received the message, she had to act – and believe that somehow, it had been the right timing.

Just remember that we can also have our own happiness.

Creative, determined, resilient, ambitious…and also burnt out kicking the same rocks around.

Concepts.

“Reality” is based upon concepts.

It becomes clear when you are standing in a pile of rubble and keep sifting through the matrix.

You can’t really build with that “material.”

A master alchemist analyzes what is presented – and creates wings from essence of clouds.

With so many dogs coming and going in the same spots, disease and illness can be transmitted into the soil and bushes at frequented bathroom spots.

A young husky died yesterday and another young dog became seriously ill.

They suspect Parvo to be the culprit.

Luckily, our hound is older now and both dogs are updated on their shots.

But it is difficult to feel safe in this cramped situation.

We frequently have bouts of mystery barfing and someone being briefly off eating their food.

We stopped giving everyone the faucet water, switched to bottled, and give canned, cooked Libby’s (TM) pumpkin to help regule intestines – which works for runs or constipation.

It is hard to not allow that hind-brain high keening of alarmed concern to penetrate the day’s thinking when forced by circumstances to continue frequenting possible infection areas.

And, we must monitor eary second of walking the dogs outside our room because a lightening-quick snorfle-suck can result in the dogs eating something they shouldn’t.

Constant need for overmanagement ramps hypervigilance tension.

“”When can we be together?” she asked him.

“Give it time…” he replied.

“But this is all I keep giving!” she huffed at him.

“I thought that he had been kind to me. But when it ended, I realized that he had become cynical and bitter – and that he had been withholding love from me.”

A unicorn needs a unicorn.

She found herself apologizing to him repeatedly along their mind link.

Yes, he seemed to often be there, consoling her by his mere presence.

But she struggled with knowing if what she sensed was real between them, afraid that somehow after a lifetime of intense loneliness that maybe her mind was just fragmenting and their conversations were a product of her imagination.

When she went to that space between them into her mind’s mazelike room, she began recognizing aspects of thoughts that she was having that were behaving like negative static and zapping both his and her tender emotionalism.

It was like a crazy house in there with aspects of personalities emoting their assaultive opinions – and she realized that she owed it to the both of them to figure out how to organize the renegades and teach them discipline.

At first, I was so worried, comparing myself to others. But now, I am learning to let go of old dramas.

Don’t try to be like him: be our own versions of creativity.

He told her that we are all supposed to be alone.

That we shouldn’t reach for others.

That it is more noble to stay isolated.

That to want more, she was selfish.

“Why put off today what you’ll put off tomorrow?”

🤣