Month: November 2022

Something in them fits me:
Cherished company I keep.

They say that its “everything” – but there’s some that it’s not.

Party of one.

It means nothing without the grist.

Rubber chicken lips and squeaky sound of distress.

You know, that laid out chicken toy dogs love to fling about?

Young adults cussing constantly in their speech patterns is an assertion of their independence from conformist society.

The same cussing by people living on the edge may have begun this way – but then became a continuum of their survivalist culture.

I have a high tolerance and flex level – until it comes to willful ineptness by others, or severe inflammation pain in my system.

The first will tangle around my legs, tripping my functionality; the second seizes my muscles, trying to stop me from moving and achieving.

At some point, either becomes that which I must move around or push against drastically.

And then, I dig in my heels and start asserting.

In the case of the new venue where I had been working, I had been asked and then I had gently but assuredly stated what I needed.

This was not headed and, instead, unnecessary complications were placed in my way, causing my effectiveness to teeter on degrading.

So, I will just leave, peacefully with many thanks for the opportunity – but my mind is set.

As far as the pain, extreme inflammation from some allergen has burned away the thin veneer of flex that I had remaining.

I am no longer tolerating accepting less from my circumstances than what I need, deserve, and require for solace.

I do not require where I work to be elaborate – but I need it to be functional.

“Driven Over-Achiever.”

If unmatched in flight’s strength, grounded by drakes.

Thus, such a relationship is “Dead On Arrival.”

I managed to get the donations of my services out in time for a local community raffle and auction, but could not expend more energy to show up in person. Self care is necessary. It is hard for me to identify when I have already overextended.

Ego is challenged when one attaches to outcome or how things “should be” in situations.

It is a constant test of patience when my will is denied sense of achievement in ways that would seem more glorious externally.

Oh, you know – like having a nice house to rent with a spacious kitchen, a large fridge, and a good oven to cook with.

There are many aspects on our list that a home for us needs to have – but very few on the market, and we need the right landlord to let us move in.

If I get any boost to finances, income drops or some other bill shows up.

I really don’t understand how I ought to look at this.

But, I feel a sense of extreme vexation

It just seems that I stay afloat, but never get ahead.

It’s probably best that I view this like I am in a boat traveling along a river.

The stream pulls me onward, and at night I can go to shore and rest my head.

Discernation.

She was trying hard to stop sending her feelers out as far in certain directions, for when she did, her sensitive synaptic tips got burnt.

I did not get to do the usual amount of activities in my younger adult years, which also means I did not have the same wear and tear on joints and muscles.

There were a few accidents I am finally getting to address the impact of, but within my cells I still feel untapped potentials.

Temporal Dysphasia

As a human in these times, it is necessary to establish certain behaviorisms in one’s self to maintain consistency – despite others’ actions and adversities.

Having just been exposed to a large amount of enclosed cleaning supply aerosols in a house being prepped for new tenants, the shock of reexposure to such poison inflaming my system required me to take a walk along unknown streets – observing other houses where families are nestled quite contently, and wondeing how it has now become such a challenge to find good, safe housing.

If we truly looked at each one of our hearts, we’d see how fine and delicate – how fragile and vulnerable each work of art.