I used to delve deep into the subconscious web of dreaming we can all tap into if we are open and willing.
I used to enter a room and find him there, doing something. Sometimes we would share thoughts and other times, just exchange impressions.
Then one day, she infiltrated into our connection, pushing an arm hard against me, begging me to let them be – to give her this chance to make him happy.
I had been drawn by his and my rare connection, unsure if what they were doing was for show or pure intention – but was so startled that I let her input affect me.
If he is going to walk that external path and she truly wants this opportunity, I do not belong in the middle of it.
There is an underlying honor system to such things and he has not been advocating for me, directly.
Since then, I have been closing off our internal communications – for afterall, they could all just be inside my “head,” like some internal-loop fantasy.
But it hurts to be without him, and when I feel him there, my heart takes flight and I’m someone I’ve only dreamed of being.
“How do I manifest this feeling into my reality?”
Is this even the right phrasing to be choosing?
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