I think that the last time I was solely in business for myself was 2015.
Between then and now, I kept turning myself into a pretzel to conform and find standardized employment.
I could not begin well without a Bachelor’s degree, despite my business and life experience, and every time I entered a model, I found it extremely limited, stilting, and distressing.
At first, it began as a desire to take pressure off of myself to always be the income fabricator.
Then, my conscription tied tighter because for three years I was trying to stay qualified for a fiance visa as the income provider.
After this failed, I was just caught in the chop of the Covid disaster/relief system.
Moving to a new region, I thought I would give it one more go and stuck it out through difficulties – until I realized that the employment paradigm just does not benefit me.
It keeps me bound by dependency on others to provide, and degrades my identity when they don’t – and in fact, turn the responsibility against me, making me responsible for their success or failure.
It just comes down to that I cannot afford the aggravation that this type of toxic relationship imposes upon my emotional psychology.
Candid Corvid Productions 