Month: April 2023

It takes a while for a man to mature – but then again, this is similar for a woman.

My body tells me it is days, weeks, and years past my bed time. Someday, maybe, rejuvenation will catch up with me.

I feel like my days just roll into each other, one after another, without stop or rest as I am put to the test.

It is like training one’s psychology to accept something new and learning to flex so one can overcome past associative hurdles, as well as be able to expand into new frontiers.

But, how does one receive reassurance that new trust is reliable before and while time’s experience proves it is viable?

There needs to be inclusive communication.

Being unloved within a relationship is ten times worse than being alone without a relationship.

I just wish that on this side of things, I could actually feel relief.

I think the chemicals in the bath tub plastic have been making me swell.

(Title of multiple meanings)

Sticky.

It’s so damn sticky.

Go ahead.

Give me a purgative.

It would be a relief to rid myself of it!

“Do not tell me what or how to think and believe – unless you intend to prove to me something different than what I have experienced, and that I, too, can be blessed to be Human.”

I tried, Lord.

You saw me reach.

I ripped open the veil and awoke.

But, he kept going…

And others interfered with the deer.

Then, they blamed him for being the one who slew.

He was Good – had done no wrong.

And all I could do was “see” when it was happening.

I was prevented from saving him.

I could only preserve and nourish the remnants.

Needs and desires promised by birth to be fulfilled ache all the more to be fed and quenched when delayed and denied.

Hostility towards compulsion.

Finding that I am hitting blocks in my ability to flex both emotionally and physically, I must seek new methods and supports to overcome my newly found insecurities.

Being aware enough to know that one still has so much to learn.

When one thinks their capabilities might not be enough, self doubt can wrap around their ankles, slowing and tripping their efforts.

I tend to triangulate before committing to certain situations.

Finding ways to heal by simplifying yet amplifying where one can gain ground is challenging.

We pretend we are certain ways to emulate certain ideals and to gain approval.

Whether the approval must come from within or the external is a focal point with which we struggle.

When I went back to retrieve my dragon from its hibernation on the mountainside, I checked inside the trailer home as my father requested to ensure it was ready for the new tenant.

To my sadness, I found one baby mouse, dead and dessicating, curled up alone in the emptied living room.

We had managed to save our family, but I had not been there to ensure its freedom from the bathroom sink pipeway’s ensured indoor captivity.

When you are or are becoming something, it is hard to qualify and quantify its value.

Will you love me then, for that brief moment, before you discard me because I am human again?

Whether or not one has in the past been a victim, if one’s nerves are being compressed and twisted longterm without relief, then a complex develops.

How the backwards impact from the horse accident torqued my neck forward created compresion adhesions along left anterior cervical spine.

This caused a crimp just where the vagus and diaghram are innervated (= stress flares, blood pressure elevations, and breath constriction) and is the focal point of inflammation and migraines.

As I witness another man choosing his mate for their youth and popularity, it is no wonder the demise of our society as the wise and mature are passed over.