Month: June 2023

Stream of Thought

A Distressed Human

Candid Corvid Productions

I grew up being taken advantage of, misused, mistreated, oppressed, and beaten.

I was forced to suppress my emotions so that I would not be an easy target – although they somehow always found me.

It was because I was different. I refused to act ignorant and play the harmful games.

I did not want to jockey for position, stepping on my fellow human learners to obtain bloody gains.

I am not an animal. I am not a cannibal. I refused to propagate the inane.

I couldn’t stop those in power who crushed those under them because they, themselves, had also been hurt – but then rose to ascend to fame.

Everyone is injured here.

There is no quick-and-easy solution.

But, I could choose to give love and compassion.

I could choose to lend a helping hand.

Stream of Thought

At The Cliff’s Edge

Candid Corvid Productions

I cannot care if you think you were not the one. I have no choice in the matter but to walk away.

This is the game that men play, calling out for love, then retracting. I am too strong for you.

My youthful charm lures you to find a woman’s truth. But, men these days don’t want this.

They want a girl who aspires to be a woman of the man’s own making. I could be this, too – in fact, tried to offer.

But, inevitably, time reveals a man’s inner weakness. Where there is growth to be won in the heart, he often turns away from it.

I thought you were different. And if you had been, then you would have been my only one.

Alex (An Ideal)

Dear Alex,

Candid Corvid Productions

The other day, a client of mine shared what she had been reading about loneliness.

She said that an important component about making good connection with another person is having a sense of trust.

She shared that if connection was not initiated in a specific way, guarding reactions could come up, which could cause some “fighting” – a struggle for sense of safety.

You were right about “being friends first,” but how was that to happen with your silence and our distance?

The burden of initiation was left upon me, and I floundered by giving you so many types of information.

At least I was earnest, and I tried to be genuine. Yet, I know you must have felt overloaded by the data I was conveying.

I could say that I am sorry about that, but in truth, I had been given no better options.

Stream of Thought

Eddies

Candid Corvid Productions

As I moved into the checkout line at the grocery store, the young girl in front of me noticed my looking at the conveyor’s surface and began restacking her family’s food items to make room for my own.

I thanked her for her thoughtfulness with a warm, inclusive smile and then noted all their food was precooked and prepared, as one buys when they have no stove but maybe an ice chest or small refrigerator.

As her mother’s bill tallied up, there was a sudden glitch in their system. Confusion and pressured distress hid the inward panic as the young girl’s face blanched. They discussed and realized as they stood there frozen that there was no more cash or credit available on their card for foodstamps.

“We need to put it all back,” the mother fumbled, yet stood there unmoving. The two girls shuffled the food a bit, conflicted and dismayed, and on impulse I asked, “How much is the difference?” What was the bill remaining to be paid so they could leave with all of their considered efforts?

While I waited to hear a clear answer, worried if I was in a position to help without it hurting my own family, the older gent checker swiped his own credit card for them and sent them on their way. I could only feel deep compassion for this hardshipped family, having myself been in the same situation. I hoped that they would be ok.