(After Having TBI Reactivated During Summer)
Identifiable format, recognizable format.
These are things that make note taking complicated for me because the visual is getting overburdened by cross referencing between formatting in documents, sources, word descriptions.
It’s not smooth transitioning one thing to the next, as if having several pieces of paper on the table where you could place them side by side progressively.
Trying to emulate that on the computer, when every time I leave one screen to find another – say, working between several word documents – then the first one I was working on fricken’ disappears!
Like this updated Windows version, I guess it’s 2012/2013…as you move from one – or you go down there and you press the Word icon to see all of those Word documents you’re working on – you can highlight one, but in order to click it means you leave the other.
And there’s something about that appearing, reappearing, having to search for things over and over and over again, which is bogging my brain down.
So, for example, if I go to save an item, it’s not remembering where I just was – or even near where I was in the desktop folders.
It brings up the same fricken’ beginner start phase all over again.
“Save it to where we think automatically you want it saved, which is not clearly identifiable on the screen when it comes up? Or would you like to choose one of these items, such as Desktop, etc., Browse?”
Browse is the one you want to choose, ’cause if you click on Desktop, nothing really comes up if it’s this certain folder of Desktop vs. the folder – the little tiny folder on the left Desktop will take you to all of Desktop, which opens up a view, which does not have the complete view of everything.
So then you have to scroll, and then you have to find, and when you go to click on the one, it actually shifts everything over before it actually recognizes that you’ve clicked on one.
So when you go to double click to open up that one, by the time you’ve hit the second click, you’re actually positioned over a different folder.
So, it’s either clicking not enough to get to where you wanna go, or it’s clicking too much because you’ve gone too far – all relative to what the computer decides it wants to show you at any given space or time.
And I’m getting lost in these transitional zones.
I’m getting gummed up in these zones of repetition that are not being continuous to how my brain is actually functioning and trying to go on to those next levels vs. going over the old fundamental levels again and again and again!
It’s stopping my brain’s progress.
It’s making me go backwards.
And having to redo the basic fundamentals over and over and over again – which have nothing to do with the progression whereby I was proceeding and barely holding onto in its progression.
This is extremely vexing and makes me not want to do anything which engages the eyes, or the computer, or notetaking, or anything like that because it is becoming ten times as difficult, ten times as taxing – ten times as miring down what my brain is trying to get done.
And at that point, I don’t think it’s worth it!
I’d rather extrapolate.
You know – just-just have this list of resources that I’m going t hrough, and as I go through them, I want to pick out key points that matter and then I can make a reference.
But, if I’m not finding key points that matter, then I’m not gonna make a reference.
I’m just devouring the data, and that’s what I wanna do is I wanna devour the information, let my brain make some connections as it sees fit to.
But if nothing really stands out, I’m not gonna capture it and write about it.
So to have to go back and figure out, “OK, where did I do it? What did I link? What did I listen to?” over and over and over again when I’m already looking at these huge lists, which are not all one list – they’re this list in this email, and this list in this email, and then it’s this email attached to that email…
I mean, there’s just seemingly no way to make this simple.
It’s all bombardment of data identifying where to find something.
But by the time you’ve gone from one place to the next, you’re further down the rabbit hole, and to get back to where you first were is all these jogs and turns and…
I don’t want to get lost in the boggle of it!
(Trying to type the transcript to this recording today is again reactivating the TBI – Haha!)
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