“Those old vampire stories propagated misinformation about women always gracefully conceeding to compulsion.
There’s a reason the vampires only went after younger ones!”
Month: May 2025
(Drift – Kasbo, Visualiser)
Compulsion
My love
I know
You have
The power
But my sweet
Let me be
Or make me yours
Wholly
I can’t sleep
Barely eat
Tangled up
In your messages
You’ve got to know
I’ve awakened
And I’m
Starving for you
(Shining Star – Earth Wind & Fire)
Dropping
“‘Be careful what you think. Be careful what you think. Be careful what you think.’
This – after again trying to catch some of my harmonies.”
Oooo!
Once You Give Up Dating After 50
“Soon”
5-String bass and 12-string magic harp.
Because I just have to be different.
Demon Seeds
“It’s important to note that just as healing begins, sh** comes out of the woodwork.
Then comes the suggestion, ‘Burn it all down’ – but action must be tempered with wisdom.”
In A Name
“What name should I speak to honor you?”
Mirth
“I ordered the extra textbook needed and got this message as emailed reply:
‘Thank you for your order. The items below have shipped. Your order may arrive in multiple packages.’
– ?!?!”
For A Moment
“I was able to briefly bolster in such a way to lay on my left side despite shoulder and neck injuries.
My heart could at last rest, instead of being perched high, suspended.
My stomach could cozy against intestines, instead of dangling inside, distended.
And my fingers twitched in REM when awakening from a few minutes’ slumber.
Lack of this positioning might be contributing to insomnia.”
“Teeth” (Song)
By Athena Stairs, May 14, 2025
I could get
So into you
Leave you cryin’
Boo hoo
For when you had
Time alone in hand
Swept out to sea
Beggin’ for land
Yeah baby
Before we’re through
I wanna dive
Deep into you
To where your
Soul’s peaking
Get it skittering
Beseaching
As our hearts are racin’
For a better view
Pacin’ like a predator
You say you’ve got a tether
My teeth are sharper
Ready to puncture
‘Cause the female’s the more
Dangerous of our species
It’s true
Baby
I could get
So into you
—
(Slow, deep scintillation modes with intermittent intensity)
Contact me for permissions.
Faceting
Well do you have any idea
What you’d be getting in for
If I were free to be truely myself
Unafraid of critical judgement?
Like a puppy newly whelped I’d be
Stumbling about to gain steady feet
Chirping and flitting around the house
More gay than the proudest parakeet
Pouncing upon your sheets
Like a kitten of endless leaps
Then burrowing against skin
To breathe in the taste of sin
“Happily Ever After”
“How do we function in ‘normal’ life when hopes and dreams have become scattered?”
“The Promise” (Song)
I’ll be the healing for you
I’ll make your dreams come true
Tonight tonight
Tonight tonight
—–
(Tbc with open deep minor chords shifting tone foumd in beginning of “Ascensionism” by Sleep Token)
Side Winding
How do we approach
What our hearts’ desire
When between man and woman
Churns burning ash of political ire
All the way back to the losses of Eden
We’ve been told we must be enemies
Except where our ancestors
Lived as one with the trees
How do we heal these wounds
Passed onto us by persecution?
How do we transform the fear
Waiting to distort truth in us
—
(I love the title reminding of the serpent, the taboo of knowledge, awareness, and passion – yet in goddess and other cultures, the serpent represents life, itself)
“Show Me The Way” (Screamo Song)
By Athena Stairs, May 14, 2025
You say you want to love me
But what do you know of loving
But pain and anguished suffering
Will you reject me when I’m happy
Will you discard me when I’m sad
I’m a wild animal and
You are still a man
If I let my guard down
You’ll see everything
Who I used to be
What was taken
For nothing
For nothing
But another’s soul tormented
And I accused of oppression
I’ll destroy you
I’ll destroy you
If I love you
God I want to
Because love is bad
I learned it was bad
How dare I be good
How dare I be valiant
How dare I be there for my man!
—-
Contact me for permissions
Calming The Disease
When they had finished
She lay in his arms briefly
Then suddenly began
Getting up as programmed
Because she had learned that
Hypervigilance was the only survival
Mechanism she could depend on
And distance if wanted to keep a man
“Shhh, come back to bed,” he said
Sure arms wrapping to cage her gently
And she yielded gratefully
But couldn’t help twitching
Like an injured bird afraid
Of love’s healing hands
(‘Til I Wake – Jericho)
(Run Boy Run – Woodkid)
“Break Out From Society”
Heartbeat
“How do you know what key to push or string to pluck? My inner ear is out of luck – though I call it when I feel it.”
True Ascension
The days and nights are long
Stretching ahead and behind
Remembering faintly family
And brief taste of the divine
In an awkward twenty years
Discordance resulted in tears
Desires of hoped for future
Stuffed behind paper books
A brief segment in time
Was a life bud’s wealth
Fleeing from other history
Where savagery was dealt
Adjusting solitude phases
To continue on in stealth
Unsure now how to reach
Safe harbor’s destination
“All Is Forgiven” Solaris Movie Ending Spoiler (2002)
In Dreams
“Is it possible that once a good man has secured a good woman, that after he’s come to know what seems like everything about her, that he would be open to and wanting her to keep growing and evolving – and that even if she someday could no longer, that he would love her and cherish her just as strong as ever?”
Dear Friend
You speak of silence
Do you always hear?
I often “feel” echos of
Untamed impressions
Good Pain
There’s the type of impact
That continues damaging
Years after abandonment
And there’s the type
That pushes forcefully
To dislodge an arrow tip
So that the wounded
Can bleed freely for
Cleansing recovery
(Right Now – Van Halen)
Fools For Love
“Ever we chase it like butterflies in a meadow.”
Mama Crow
Just Make It
STOP!
Inflammation
“It has been extreme since the accident.
Today I am trying a new medication for it, simply because I need to gain an edge on this whole thing.
It is supposed to be like Advil and Naproxin, but I already feel it affecting my brain.
If I clearly can’t take pharmaceuticals and marijuana, what hope is there in using CBD?
WTF – do I need herbs and fairy dust to aid me?!”
Plaaaannntts!
Reflection
Oh darn it!
You got me
Tantilizing
Instigating
Speaking my words
Summoning kinship
Drawing out poison
From wounds’ swell
Cleansing my veins
Tearing aside veils
As if you have
Known me well
Flexing your might
Displaying muscles
I can’t help but laugh at
How well you’ve grown
Mm
In exchanging the years
We were walking beside
What you went through
My own hell’s validation
I feel such a fool to
Have been in hiding
When I look at you
Openly confiding
And have a feeling that
You’d poke me gently
Teasing me lovingly
For behaving so silly
But also understanding
Why I couldn’t emerge
Until you yourself
Chose to purge
(Dangerous – Sleep Token)
Dark Desires
How many have you
Awakened with call?
Are we to burst
Through shells
Scrambling over each other
In heated frenzy to reach you
And throw our fealty
At your kissable feet
Fighting and bickering to
See who is most worthy?
Well I will not compete
But observe from afar
Sobbing and writhing
In dreams set on fire
I know my own worth now
You’ve grown your own too
I wish I could reach you
And cast off those fools
But a goddess is more
Than a supplicant vore
Even though my fangs
Want to consume you
(Infinite Baths – Sleep Token)
Illumination
Well you have
Fractured loss
Into millions of
Bright fragments
Like some bomb
Cracking atoms
Bursting colors
With declaration
Death has no dominion
In these darkest realms
And I no longer need fear
Your wounds nor my self
For though I’ve been here
You’ve long deeper delved
Consumed by such demons
Yet giving them fighting hell
Honed by sharpest blades
Enlightened wisdom’s well
Once servant now master
I’ve somehow known well
In dreams or lost memories
Supressed now rewakening
Your shout-out demanding
Grabbing soul as compells
I would run but transfixed
By my heart pouring blood
No choice but to speak
Your name in this flood
I can’t hide anymore that
It’s you I’ve always loved
The Water Bearer
As Aquarian-Pisces
Ever have I hefted
Burdens’ understanding
Gathering souls in need
And carrying their hearts
To pools of greater safety
Yet if my own soul reveals
Who would carry me well
Safe and secure if I am
Both water and vessel?
Am I A Vessel?
Against my instincts
To be possessed, yet
Transgresions unwarranted
Bombard senses unchecked
How I wish they would get out of the way
Maybe if I wasn’t always fighting for pay
I can’t delve into leaping just splayed
With no safety net set up to catch me
I always carried all of the responsibility
Disrupted by accident into disharmony
With pain screaming just let the music out
Mind-numbing shuffling as cave into doubt
Struggling with cycles’ constant decaying
Why can’t the damn structures restabilize?!
Artistic Block
Pressing against walls
So close but no entry
Must I take a mallet
And pulverize blocks?
Is it me or the process
Without keys to locks?
Why is it important that
Interference must halt?
Am I goddess to be trifled with
Would worlds shift off-balance?
Open doors energetic bastards
Let my creative ventures flaunt!
Dear Friend
“My heart wants to be there with you.
I wish you the best in all things.”
Awwww
Rising Star
“I’ve decided that I shall become Phoenix again in the fall for a then venue event.”
Split Infinity
Fragmented
Battling
At Some Point
“Seeking knowledge needs to be found by easier channels when the vines ahead start getting thicker, and injured arms just don’t have ability to keep wieldng a machette.”
A Crumbling Support System
“I did much preparation for this quarter’s classes, and as there were no software requirements noted in the syllabus, I had invested in Ableton for my DAW and textbook materials.
But then, the instructor decided to require use of Pro Tools for both classes once we got going.
‘Just convert your files into Pro Tools once completed.’
And then, ‘actually, we are going to focus on Pro Tools as the main DAW.’
Well, my installation of Pro Tools got borked, and computer system management not being my forte, the instructor was going to help me troubleshoot issues.
And then, I realized that with my TBI I cannot learn two systems at the same time – and thus began scrambling midstream to see if I could return the one digital text for the other book copy.
I haven’t even begun the process, which will delay proceeding even longer in coursework due to shipping from out of state because the bookstore does not have a digital Pro Tools book version.
And further today, the instructor anounced that he will not be continuing teaching this spring – after I had at last felt I had found congruency in our communications.
We will now have someone else teaching both classes that I have no connection with and have to again deal with TBI resistance as I redo my entire foundational approaches.
It’s a good thing that I signed up for pass/no pass, but at this point – and with finances imploding – I am not sure what I will be able to get accomplished in these courses.
And quite frankly, I feel like quiting.”
(Holy Water – Sevendust)
Comparisons
“I sobbed to my youngling afterward (who fortunately is also an artist in their own right) about immediate comparisons of myself to others who are not even like me.
Artistic leaping with crash-and-burning.”
Candid Corvid Productions 