Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Back To Work

“Well, all of this has certainly sucked – and I am pretty much back to fending for myself again, despite injuries.

Yeah, I need to file for disability – because there is no way that I can attain previous numbers, again.

And yeah, the physicality of the therapies tears me apart, but that is why I’ve entered into modality retraining.

But I have to get through another year before I have things shifted onto a new track, and any help from society is waning.

At least, my neck having surgery is not a viable option, because at this point, it wouldn’t help anything.

My hips, however – they won’t consider surgery due to my age.

So I am just sh** out of luck – literally, no matter which way I turn.

At least I can try to regenerate some cash flow, again.

And let’s not even discuss my shoulders or spine…”

Recipes, Vampiric Tendencies

“Athena’s Crazy Mac-N-Cheese”

By Athena Stairs, October 19, 2025

“‘Crazy’ because it contains vegies – and happy, coma-inducing, varietal amounts of cheese.

Note: You can always reduce the amount of alfredo to reduce moisture, and every alfredo is different.

I currently use the brand from Trader Joe’s, and have created this recipe recently to feed my body’s starving craving for fat, lately – which is probably due to the myelin sheath reparation that I am still needing from the accident.

I also use rice noodles from Tinkyada – broken up spaghetti being my favorite – but spirals and traditional mac shapes work quite nicely.

(Disclaimer: We can debate types of best fat needed for myelin repair and healing some other time – and only try this if it fits within your health and dietary parameters.)

Here we go:

Any kind of noodles boiled with a sprinkle if salt and a dash of oil to desired consistency.

Rinse with cold water briefly and drain.

While noodles are still hot, return them to the drained noodle boiling pan and stir in butter and parmesan, sliced sharp cheddar cheese, and zucchini and/or spinach that’s been cooked in minced garlic and seasonings, and then add a jar of alfredo sauce.

Sample to taste – because I can’t wait – and then pour into a baking pan with a lid or cover with tinfoil for a while at 350 degrees.

Note: I sometimes turn the oven up to 425 degrees to cook for 10 minutes to get everything up to temperature fast because I’m impatient – and then, I turn it down again :D.

‘You do you.’

Note: Be sure to place a baking sheet covered with tin foil underneath the pan to catch prospective overflow of baking juices at the beginning of baking.

20-30 minutes bake time is a good start, though more is fine to desired consistency – just avoid burning.

When done (noted by the mac’s rapidly boiling bubbles throughout its entirety and the mixture thickening), take it out of the oven (turn off the oven) and let the pan sit on the stove or on a cooling rack on a counter or table (out of reach of animals and children’s inquisitive fingers) for 15 minutes either still lidded, or with the tin foil shifted to being tented over the top of the mac before serving.

Note: You can also have previously added on more cheese over the top and have removed the lid or foil covering for baking the last several minutes until the top turns a golden brown before removing from oven.

You could even have added crush wheat or gluten-free Ritz(TM)-type crackers or seasoned bread crumbs over the top layer with more parmesan before baking.

And if you’ve added cooked ground beef into the recipe, you now have a complete meal casserole!

ET VOILA!

YUM.

OM-NOM-NOM – and prepare to feel sleepy, if you are like me about loving cheese.

(Please contact me for permissions, and thank you for tolerating any spelling errors)

Songs

“I Found Somebody” (Song)

By Athena Stairs, October 18, 2025

I found somebody to love
But he keeps on hiding

Maybe afraid of the world
And of our hearts colliding

Or maybe he’s found
Some other love

But then why do our hands
Fit like two gloves?

I’m in darkness again
And don’t even know
How best to find him

To beseach him
To cime home again

I need him
He’s my best friend

I don’t want to spend
The rest of my life
Without him

R&B romance tones beseaching.

(Please contact me for permissions)

Alex (An Ideal)

Dear Alex,

“When I first began writing to you way back when, I soon began having similar dreams of my shirt just bamphing out of existence – much to my quickly scrambling-to-avoid social embrassment.

I guess that means that my love for this man is equivalent – if not more so – to the original love that I had for you?

And also, it seems that the inadvertent baring of breasts signifies my vulnerable heart is again being displayed uncomfortably wide open.”

Reclamation, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

ReCalculating

“If hip joints are being twist-pulled forward and out away from structural stability due to over-torque tension in the quadraceps, will lower abdominal restrengthening pull back and tighten the sheaths that should wrap tight the capsules – or will this just increase the overall load?”

A Woman's Plight

Partitions

She was afraid to be trapped again by another’s lack of comprehension and participation.

Even worse, though, was her past patterning of becoming blind to it to retain any comfort in closeness – unable to vocalize her needs as instincts clutched onto ‘safety’ – and the fear of loss if she shared that inside her needs were screaming.

A Woman's Plight

The Younger Man

She waan’t looking for an age, she was looking for the right fit.

And she had lost that time to live, caring for others in their complexities.

But if she found someone at that life stage, would they both be relegated to standard life-patterned growth rings?

What she’d been learning back then was how the push the ceiling off from everything.

But the people around her had just continued trodding scenarios unfolding slowly, as if sleepwalking.

A Woman's Plight

No Safe Havens

A few gentle, quiet and tenuous but sharply clear-so-she’d-hear piano notes came from some chamber in her mind to her left, spanning across time and space.

But the plane shifted, cutting off the connection, and she couldn’t reach out to touch his crisped white collar.

A warm, dim-lit parlor opened where an umber-smoked piano beckoned soothingly and an older, stubble-faced confident was ready to lend an ear.

But she only played very litle and in private, and this person was not real in life to her.

Another room – a bar this time – filled to brimming with beautiful younger women, viscious in their competetive trimmings, ready to jeer and leer at her for trying.

Then that feeling over-riding everything as she turned another corner in the portal maze lacking any grounding.

“No, no more bathroom dreams please – where clothes go suddenly missing, and I’m scrambling.”

A Woman's Plight, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Genetics & Accidents

“It turns out that I have hip dysplasia.

My hound has it, too.

Only her left hip will twist out of its socket – even in her youth.

I have to rub her associated muscle spasms to get them to release her hip so that it again properly repositions when I see her limp.

Oh wait…

Both of mine now behave like this, too.”

Songs

Writing Songs

“I’m at last taking a class from a teacher who is relatable and helps make this knowledge accessible.

Lyrics, chord charts, and rough sample demos.

Three ‘simple’ pieces that an artist needs to be able to compose in order for their artistic concepts to be well conveyed.

The perequisite is having taken a Music Fundamentals class before, which I’ve done twice – the last time about eleven years or so ago.

I have a refresher book, too.

But this foundational structure did not really tell a person how to apply the knowledge functionally – nor, especially, intuitively.

Theory has been presented enough to name the pieces and then get abstract with the Circle of 5ths – much like math can continue building, but unless you are measuring something or getting into physics, all you really came away with practically is geometric measurements or how to count change, for example.

I am finally gaining slow ability to identify notes and tonal relationships on the piano.

Lord help me attempting to convert this same info to a guitar!

And I can see that if you know the Circle of 5ths, then you can somehow begin identifying potential chords by whether there are notes in a piece of music with tonic, sharps, or flats aspects.

Then, you could go on to say a note is augmented or diminished, or at a degree counter to its original position within the chord structure.

But I’m still workung backwards it seems, trying to just find the notes to match my singing because trying to write chords to chart seems to me to be not enough info to convey a song’s details properly.

For now, I’m still at the place of clarifying the little details – which might be making my learning curve more difficult than going for generalities.”