Month: October 2025
Eyes Of The Beholder
(Level Up – Ciara)
Ok, Starbucks Won
“The one ad that I could not skip past:
‘You know you want this yummy.
Level up.
Level up – Level up -Level up!’
In my mind, I am so THERE!”
—
(Jonesing because I haven’t had the money for my ‘medication.’)
A Beautiful Violence
“Now there goes a man of beauty and grace in commitment.”
Wrath
“And no amount of love will keep it around
If we don’t choose it
And I don’t know what’s got its teeth in me
But I’m about to bite back in anger
No amount of self-sought fury
Will bring back the glory of innocence”
—-
(Sleep Token lyrics from “Take Me Back To Eden”)
(Take Me Back To Eden – Sleep Token)
(This Is The Picture [Excellent Birds] – Peter Gabriel)
Back To Work
“Well, all of this has certainly sucked – and I am pretty much back to fending for myself again, despite injuries.
Yeah, I need to file for disability – because there is no way that I can attain previous numbers, again.
And yeah, the physicality of the therapies tears me apart, but that is why I’ve entered into modality retraining.
But I have to get through another year before I have things shifted onto a new track, and any help from society is waning.
At least, my neck having surgery is not a viable option, because at this point, it wouldn’t help anything.
My hips, however – they won’t consider surgery due to my age.
So I am just sh** out of luck – literally, no matter which way I turn.
At least I can try to regenerate some cash flow, again.
And let’s not even discuss my shoulders or spine…”
Yeah…
“It is kind of brutally funny, this living amid personal tragedy.”
Suspended Animation
Although she seemed to have little control over the direction that her ship was hurtling, she could play with the gravity adjustments and attempt to reduce her discomfort.”
Numbers Lie
“Although I still enjoy noting their patterns, the messages since AI has leaked into everything all have the same flavor and just reinforce sense of ‘duty’s’ isolation.
Fu** That.”
Avoidance
“No, I’m not going to chase him.
And no, I’m not going to listen to those other artists and compare myself to them.
I cannot keep being crushed into a speck of my very existence.”
Time To Hit It
“Get up, get some caffeine, and get physically busy.”
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
You Know, I’d Think
“That writing would calm and relax my mind and spirit.
But I don’t feel recovered or restored.
I’m just riding some jagged edge that tears and will not let go.”
(Lose Control – Teddy Sims)
Sunshine’s Disposition
Even the brightest spark will dim in cold weather.
OverCast
She didn’t need to worry so much about how she was looking
The odds seemed pretty high that he wouldn’t come calling.
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
“Athena’s Crazy Mac-N-Cheese”
By Athena Stairs, October 19, 2025
“‘Crazy’ because it contains vegies – and happy, coma-inducing, varietal amounts of cheese.
Note: You can always reduce the amount of alfredo to reduce moisture, and every alfredo is different.
I currently use the brand from Trader Joe’s, and have created this recipe recently to feed my body’s starving craving for fat, lately – which is probably due to the myelin sheath reparation that I am still needing from the accident.
I also use rice noodles from Tinkyada – broken up spaghetti being my favorite – but spirals and traditional mac shapes work quite nicely.
(Disclaimer: We can debate types of best fat needed for myelin repair and healing some other time – and only try this if it fits within your health and dietary parameters.)
Here we go:
Any kind of noodles boiled with a sprinkle if salt and a dash of oil to desired consistency.
Rinse with cold water briefly and drain.
While noodles are still hot, return them to the drained noodle boiling pan and stir in butter and parmesan, sliced sharp cheddar cheese, and zucchini and/or spinach that’s been cooked in minced garlic and seasonings, and then add a jar of alfredo sauce.
Sample to taste – because I can’t wait – and then pour into a baking pan with a lid or cover with tinfoil for a while at 350 degrees.
Note: I sometimes turn the oven up to 425 degrees to cook for 10 minutes to get everything up to temperature fast because I’m impatient – and then, I turn it down again :D.
‘You do you.’
Note: Be sure to place a baking sheet covered with tin foil underneath the pan to catch prospective overflow of baking juices at the beginning of baking.
20-30 minutes bake time is a good start, though more is fine to desired consistency – just avoid burning.
When done (noted by the mac’s rapidly boiling bubbles throughout its entirety and the mixture thickening), take it out of the oven (turn off the oven) and let the pan sit on the stove or on a cooling rack on a counter or table (out of reach of animals and children’s inquisitive fingers) for 15 minutes either still lidded, or with the tin foil shifted to being tented over the top of the mac before serving.
Note: You can also have previously added on more cheese over the top and have removed the lid or foil covering for baking the last several minutes until the top turns a golden brown before removing from oven.
You could even have added crush wheat or gluten-free Ritz(TM)-type crackers or seasoned bread crumbs over the top layer with more parmesan before baking.
And if you’ve added cooked ground beef into the recipe, you now have a complete meal casserole!
ET VOILA!
YUM.
OM-NOM-NOM – and prepare to feel sleepy, if you are like me about loving cheese.
—
(Please contact me for permissions, and thank you for tolerating any spelling errors)
A Good Feed
“I managed to make my first broiled steak, yesterday – which came out a bit medium.
Oh!
The best parts were where there was some fat grilled into juices that left the meat tender and tasty!
Sorry, folks – but I have to have red meat.
If I don’t, I begin to feel sickly.
Other meats, which I can eat, do not replenish what my blood needs.”
Baring Teeth
She didn’t think tbey had it in them to take as good care of him – which did not include her being a pushover.
“Turn About” (Song)
By Athena Stairs, October 19, 2025
If you must go
Then just go
But if you would stay
Then please stay
Either way
You are free
To leave or be
With me
But know that
If you stay
I will never
Let you go again
Because you’ll
Belong to me
Eternally
—
(Please contact me for permissions)
Sacred Oath
No transgression
Despite well meant
Is allowed to smother
One heart over another
Not This Time
“I would not wish to see this one hurt.
Gods, be at last generous and kind to him.”
One Could Say
“‘Greater men have fallen'” – but rarely a man’s heart has loved to that immense and wonderful capacity.”
A Gesture
Is that all that it would become, now that the world adored him?
The Competition
“You’re actually considering being with her?
But she’s not already established like the rest of us – and further more…”
She Could
See him actually in her life – and oh, how wondrous they could be together!
Static
She turned the knob to find the music, but there was nothing there.
(Differences – Ginuwine)
“I Found Somebody” (Song)
By Athena Stairs, October 18, 2025
I found somebody to love
But he keeps on hiding
Maybe afraid of the world
And of our hearts colliding
Or maybe he’s found
Some other love
But then why do our hands
Fit like two gloves?
I’m in darkness again
And don’t even know
How best to find him
To beseach him
To cime home again
I need him
He’s my best friend
I don’t want to spend
The rest of my life
Without him
—
R&B romance tones beseaching.
(Please contact me for permissions)
Dear Alex,
“When I first began writing to you way back when, I soon began having similar dreams of my shirt just bamphing out of existence – much to my quickly scrambling-to-avoid social embrassment.
I guess that means that my love for this man is equivalent – if not more so – to the original love that I had for you?
And also, it seems that the inadvertent baring of breasts signifies my vulnerable heart is again being displayed uncomfortably wide open.”
Stages Of Courtship
Discovering
Recognizing
Considering
Discussing
Committing
Maybe
If she could get the jammed cervicals to release and reintegrate, the others would not be so sliding-compression-pinching hypermobile.
Was It Right
For her to want and need him
When he deserved the world?
(Tears on cheeks)
ReCalculating
“If hip joints are being twist-pulled forward and out away from structural stability due to over-torque tension in the quadraceps, will lower abdominal restrengthening pull back and tighten the sheaths that should wrap tight the capsules – or will this just increase the overall load?”
More Dreams
“And the last still ended up with my shirt spontaneously off.”
(What the -?!)
Partitions
She was afraid to be trapped again by another’s lack of comprehension and participation.
Even worse, though, was her past patterning of becoming blind to it to retain any comfort in closeness – unable to vocalize her needs as instincts clutched onto ‘safety’ – and the fear of loss if she shared that inside her needs were screaming.
The Younger Man
She waan’t looking for an age, she was looking for the right fit.
And she had lost that time to live, caring for others in their complexities.
But if she found someone at that life stage, would they both be relegated to standard life-patterned growth rings?
What she’d been learning back then was how the push the ceiling off from everything.
But the people around her had just continued trodding scenarios unfolding slowly, as if sleepwalking.
No Safe Havens
A few gentle, quiet and tenuous but sharply clear-so-she’d-hear piano notes came from some chamber in her mind to her left, spanning across time and space.
But the plane shifted, cutting off the connection, and she couldn’t reach out to touch his crisped white collar.
A warm, dim-lit parlor opened where an umber-smoked piano beckoned soothingly and an older, stubble-faced confident was ready to lend an ear.
But she only played very litle and in private, and this person was not real in life to her.
Another room – a bar this time – filled to brimming with beautiful younger women, viscious in their competetive trimmings, ready to jeer and leer at her for trying.
Then that feeling over-riding everything as she turned another corner in the portal maze lacking any grounding.
“No, no more bathroom dreams please – where clothes go suddenly missing, and I’m scrambling.”
Tonal Connections
“The song ‘Someone You Loved’ by Lewis Capaldi sounds similar tones to Leo Faulkner’s cover of ‘Sex’ by the 1975.”
(Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi)
Genetics & Accidents
“It turns out that I have hip dysplasia.
My hound has it, too.
Only her left hip will twist out of its socket – even in her youth.
I have to rub her associated muscle spasms to get them to release her hip so that it again properly repositions when I see her limp.
Oh wait…
Both of mine now behave like this, too.”
Bone Tired
They speak of love
In certain language
Which implies it is
Perhaps replaceable
But, no, it is specific
The right match fits
In ways that make
One’s spirit access
Primary potentials
Without its blessing
Twitch itching bones
Barely Holding On
She’d been afraid of this
His presence promised
That at summer’s end
She’d have his comfort
But instead fall rushed
Hurtling toward winter
Where cold saps bones
Sucking delicate dreams
From marrow as atones
Believing in saving grace
From love’s healing balm
On Her Own, Again
She was afraid to howl for him, flinching at the implied sting of rejection.
Writing Songs
“I’m at last taking a class from a teacher who is relatable and helps make this knowledge accessible.
Lyrics, chord charts, and rough sample demos.
Three ‘simple’ pieces that an artist needs to be able to compose in order for their artistic concepts to be well conveyed.
The perequisite is having taken a Music Fundamentals class before, which I’ve done twice – the last time about eleven years or so ago.
I have a refresher book, too.
But this foundational structure did not really tell a person how to apply the knowledge functionally – nor, especially, intuitively.
Theory has been presented enough to name the pieces and then get abstract with the Circle of 5ths – much like math can continue building, but unless you are measuring something or getting into physics, all you really came away with practically is geometric measurements or how to count change, for example.
I am finally gaining slow ability to identify notes and tonal relationships on the piano.
Lord help me attempting to convert this same info to a guitar!
And I can see that if you know the Circle of 5ths, then you can somehow begin identifying potential chords by whether there are notes in a piece of music with tonic, sharps, or flats aspects.
Then, you could go on to say a note is augmented or diminished, or at a degree counter to its original position within the chord structure.
But I’m still workung backwards it seems, trying to just find the notes to match my singing because trying to write chords to chart seems to me to be not enough info to convey a song’s details properly.
For now, I’m still at the place of clarifying the little details – which might be making my learning curve more difficult than going for generalities.”
Return Of The Bird Tribes
There’s legend
Steeped of old
Telling of those
Of birds’ likeness
Facial bones contored
Body shape emulating
Creatures capable of
Traveling mystic airs
Magic pouring from
Sweat when working
The arts coming
Natural attuning
For now few yet
Have been born
But the chosen
Grow stronger
(You – DEADLUVE)
Ard Rhi
He could never
Be her consort
Tradition demanded
Much more than this
