Pack Mentality

“The hound and wolf are no longer synced to me, having absorbed into pack mentality.

The other dogs, either being very young or untrained in their communication niceties have more pushy and frequently jarring and obnoxious barking tendencies, so when mine hear me, they whine and demand rudely.

There’s no real hope of my currently curbing mine back to civilized politeness, and so they only respond, if at all, if I yell and demand right back at them – or at the very least, I must be firm in my tone with a ‘don’t mess with me’ edge to it.

I’m not loving the ptsd reaction this keeps reactivating, nor the ever present stress charge blooming on edge of last ditch efforts in self salvaging sparking over into anger.

And I must veer away from thoughts and any desire to walk my two for rebonding and needed extra exercise.

My limbs are just too prone now to tearing if pulled by force into different directions.

But still, if I could find those boot shoes that disappeared, I’d be tempted to try to go carefully with my walking sticks and their harnessing, anyway.

Yet then, they’d build up an even greater demanding in their expectations – and that is not something that I can further manage, especially when I cannot guarantee them nor myself capability of consistency.

So it would be one more pressure that they see in their minds as valid to pile onto me.”