She knew that his heart had always had this, even if at times he’d wished that it hadn’t.
Month: January 2026
My Captain
It did not seem possible that there’d be a hero to come help and save her.
Someone who’d value, want, and cherish her.
For so long, she’d been the one others needed to rely upon.
Hon,
“I don’t want you to ever leave me, again.”
(Despite All – Yoe Mase)
Retreat
She had made herself available, but now she’d just…
The Job
Keep stitching torn sails, work to repair rigging, and pray for reinforcements.
For The Moment
She’d been able to get help with restarting the fireplace today since its prior use last winter.
It gave her great pride to see her family gathered around it, happily soaking up its warmth while they still had housing.
(Out Of My League – Fitz And The Tantrums)
“On My Own” (Singin’ The Blues)
By Athena Stairs, December 25, 2025
I’ve looked for my marbles
Not sure where they’ve gone
While drowsy from sleep
Thought I’d write this cute song
There are ghosts in the hall
But I keep them from talkin’
At times flick a light
To interrupt their stalkin’
When takin’ a shower
I’m careful with balance
No bars on the wall
Means slippin’s a menace
And when try to cook
I’m chasin’ ingredients
If you like your food charred
My skills are ingenius
My garden is wet
So rarely smell flowers
The hound can still fetch
But I throw with weak power
My homework has died
From a smack to my thinkin’
The synapses fire
But gaps signal blinkin’
Want to make my own music
But readin’s gone faulty
My eyes seekin’ guidance
Fight overload mentality
My logic’s alright
But I’ve fallen in love
Still lonely at night
When could fit like a glove
But I’ll be alright
It’s been years on my own
Try to live a moral life
So no need to atone
I fight back determined
Where demons encroach
Still seems human plight that
Our souls are bare-boned
—-
(Contact me for permissions)
Barriers To Understanding
She wasn’t going to fight with a ghost.
What Offends Me
“Being messed with and given empty promises.”
Squirrelin’ Around
Walls Closing In
Her inner horse began bucking and kicking in all directions around her as perceptions of impending failures and too long unfed starvation for love’s reality began collapsing in on her emotional psychology.
“One day at a time!
One day at a time!
For F’s sake – ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!“
Resolute
The concussion scenario being a dead end recipe for complete disempowerment, she just kept trying to do whatever she could try to do, despite it – peppered with moments of stopping for breaks to try to rest.
(Biggest Part Of Me – Ambrosia)
Song repost from July 2025
(Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden)
(Show Me The Way – Styx)
Talk About
“A War Of Attrition…”
(Sleep Token reference)
Braaaaiiiiinnn
“One could think that being told one must rest for recovery would be liberating.
But it isn’t – no, not one bit – not one bit at all when one’s boat is sinking.”
Wrecked
People driving stupid despite black ice season, then honking as if they have rights to push other people to speed up and join them.
Pulling over to reset because don’t want to take that b.s. energy home.
Ok, Listen
“In a song, a guy is stealing a gal away from another guy – and then asking her to be true to him.
How is this not a multi-layered setup?
Breaking morality, setting a behavior pattern…be untrue to the first guy, but then have morals again?
Just…BAAHHHH!”
Summary
“I don’t have structural support and use consistency in system availabiliy for accessing, and when I use these systems, hyper-compression on vertebrae and joints, as well as extreme muscle torsions that attempt to ‘pull me apart’ result.”
Discussion
“After two and a half years of working toward reactivating muscle responses, it becomes apparent how essential that the surrounding fascial support tissues are in also needing reactivation to cushion and hold structural supports, as well as keep them within their own sectors vectors.”
My Phrasing
“Based upon personal and professional experience.”
Official Terminology
“Connective tissue integrity disruption.”
When I’m With You (I Like Me Better – Lauv)
My Love,
I am so proud of your efforts.
(Hold You Head Up – Argent)
Parts Of You & Me
(If I Can’t Have You – Shawn Mendes)
The Time Arrives
She was in a grocery isle, looking at garbage bags and cleaning supplies – of all things – and saw hum coming from her left.
Sunglasses still on to mitigate the bright overhead lights, she angled her stance more toward him and hazedly watched him approach, expecting him to turn and walk the other way.
But he kept coming, slowly, and was watching her carefully but directly.
Every step brought his visage more clearly into view as her mind scanned for attributes that would confirm his identity correctly.
Then he stopped right there, right next to her, not looking away – just as she held herself there, though swaying a bit from not automatically bolting away, herself.
He was ready?
They were ready.
To be real….
To figure out how to explain and discuss everything.
They were ready to face fears, together, with trembling relief.
—-
(This morning’s last dream before waking)
Claiming Rights
“You might be a pain in the butt,” she asserted, “but you’re my pain in the butt.”
And then, she hugged him.
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
“She Loves Me”
He said out loud to no one in particular.
“She loves me…”
That He Could
Drive her this crazy must mean that she cared for and loved him deeply.
Get It Together
She visualized turning him around, smacking his butt, and sending him on his way with a “Come back when you’re ready to really play.”
Of Course!
She had been crying.
(All Fired Up – Pat Benatar)
Boiling Rage
A self defense mechanism beginning to gather flame’s ire in mass and momentum to blast a wide radius around her of charred cinders that no man would dare try to go through.
Word Of The Day: Surly
bad-tempered and unfriendly.
Oxford Languages
Angel Numbers
“No matter what, they all say stay positive.
They can go F- off, too.”
It’s Called
“Heartache from being teased, then denied.”
EnThralled
He was enchanted by the fact that his actions affected her because she cared so much – while he seemed oblivious to the blatant obviousness of how his withdrawals cut her open, spilling her precious heart’s blood, again.
“Round About” (Song)
By Athena Stairs, January 8, 2026 Early AM
Trippin’
I’m flippin’
‘Round and ’round
Clock cycles bound
Time never found
Just wheels spinnin’
While grinin’
Never winnin’
Except to keep clingin’
To bare minimums
—
(Contact me for permissions)
“Safe” Love
Distant
Shallow
Idealistic
Conscripted Designs
“A song sings about ‘Maybe I’m still here ’cause I got work to do.’
And already feeling extremely alienated and dissociated, I just yelled back at the radio – ‘Well F**k You! I don’t want to be just a vessel!’
Now I’m feeling extreme deja vu.”
(Should I Stay or Should I Go – The Clash)
Fleeting Shadows
This time, she was
Ready, determined
To overcome her fear
And reach out to him
But when she saw him again
Then followed, he was gone
Candid Corvid Productions 