She was afraid to let someone in because she had been so picked apart by past men.
Month: January 2026
Technology Is Hungry/Thirsty
“No matter what I do, my car charger’s insert plug keeps trying to wind up in my food and drinks!”
(Ins-In-uative coils…)
And Then The Flood Came
She had found him, sang from back stage at the end of his set to lend support to him, they were able to kiss on cheeks then lips briefly – and then she was sent off on a wild goose chase away from him as he had to ready for departure and she had thought that she was joining him at a diner.
After a long bus ride that ended up dropping everyone else off at different venues except her and her guide, the two were finally let off at a park, and as they walked along a path, she asked to be connected with him by phone.
After her guide called him, she could hear him asking her guide questions about her, so she asked to speak with him directly.
Yet, his responses by phone with her once he was outside of his costume were filled with suspicious aloofness in his tones as he questioned the validity of her caring for him, stating how could he believe it – and what proofs could she provide of her affection?
She then opened up her heart to him and told him that she wanted to travel the circuit with him to get to know him and support him, that she couldn’t do distance relationships anymore because they were unhealthy for her, and that maybe she could work along the way to help with her travel expenses.
She didn’t have any money right now, but she was willing and open to innovating.
But he still resisted believing her because for too long he had survived by guarded indifference.
So she pleaded that he tell his other half how much she adored and loved him, and that even though she didn’t well know this side of him on the phone, she knew that she was certain that she also loved him, too.
She was crying as her voice kept getting softer, and she struggled to convey the depths of her feelings while sobbing gulps made it harder and harder for her to breathe as she tried to keep speaking.
When she at last finished, he said nothing.
“Hello, are you there..?
I love you…
Are you there..?”
Straining to hear any response from him, her emotions became so overpowering that she found herself waking from what revealed itself to be a dream, and heavy tears emerged in reality as she found herself still calling out quietly to him, “Are you there?”
“Your Trace” (Song)
By Athena Stairs, January 28, 2026
And I am still here wishing for
The moments of your grace
I work upon myself to rid
Old feelings of disgrace
But there is something missing
Only found when touch your face
I need the dream we’re building
Come let’s find our hiding place
—
(Contact me for permissions)
“‘That’s My Girl'”
Back To “Norms”
“Ah – how the pendulum does like to swing!”
Flared Agitation
“The bill’s rapid-fire speaking representative refused to acknowledge the efficacy of my request that she briefly summarize past due and paid activity so that I could see it more clearly – rather than my having to wade through an overload of visual data in many statements that she wanted to send to discern this while I battle brain injury.”
My Love,
Never before could I reach this phase of healing as I walked along these broken roads searching, until you came into my life.
Rapid Reframing
“I repeat myself when under stress to find the answers in a mess. The pieces fit where became blocked – keep turning ’til slide into socket. A light turns on as truth reveals healing begun as wounding seals.”
AckNowLedgement
They had not been so corrupted when she had known them, thus she had not been naive to believe in their good aspects.
It was just extremely shocking to realise later how much the matriarch’s and her support in love had kept them on track.
And when the matriarch had passed, they all chose to absolve any adherence, and instead embraced anarchy’s tyranny and cast about blame for their grief and losses.
A Spell’s Unbinding
In her mind, the arrow tip’s shard at last began working its way to the surface, extruding from imbedment in her heart.
She could not yet feel any relief, for so long had her tissues been frozen in shock and fear’s caution to carefully contain its position and keep it from tearing her apart.
She then buried it at their once matriarch’s grave, the place where she had tearfully and wretchedly prayed for guidance when all had turned insane and then, soon after, the truth behind lies had revealed itself to her.
The matriarch could cleanse the shard, seal it, and neutralize that negative energy, blessing the woman by their once mutual alliance to carry on with her own story, no longer bound to that family’s tragedies.
Waking As Goodbye
She dreamed that she finally told her ex-husband honestly, regretfully, and decidedly that she could no longer be with him, wait for him, or hold space for him in her heart.
And as she woke, she found herself speaking the words aloud to him as the dream with his presence faded, thus dissolving the hidden threads that had still bound her to him.
—
(Just now emerging)
Self-Fulfilling
They had not believed in good, therefore had not supported good – and then, promoted destruction due to misplaced skew in their agendas.
The Issue, Really
She had cared for them all, deeply.
(Matte Kudasai – King Crimson)
Song repost from July 2022
There Was A Time
When men were worth trusting and believing in.
Loving,
I want to be with you.
I don’t know what all of this means.
It’s unfolding…
(Feed The Gods – White Zombie)
“Aslan”
“MonoKeros”
A Queen’s Will
He and his wife were excluded because they had not contributed to the needs of his own children.
Their betrayal, in her eyes, was simply the deciding factor.
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
Retaliation
Never corner a wolf.
Centuries Of Sin
“It is not men’s right to distort the words of God(s) to gain their own advantages by crimes against the world and humanity.”
Among Thieves
“There is currently an extreme lack of honor that is harming too many victims by callous indiscretions.”
Today’s Thematic
Being wrongfully kicked by those who claim authority without grace and wisdom.
Why Bring It Up?
Because she found out how badly they had attempted to ruin her good reputation.
Don’t sling dirt at someone who has suffered wrongfully by the slinger’s hands.
Funny How It Goes
The matriarch’s decisions later were a result from their own actions – but they discounted their own accountability and blamed the granddaughter-in-law because she did not let them get away with mal-intended deeds.
Affiliation
“I do not regret standing up for and protecting the woman who always did the same for us through any weather.”
For Her Honor
She remembered when their matriarch was in the hospital, and her son’s wife tried to grab her purse to seize power of attorney.
“No…she put me in charge of her purse,” said the granddaughter-in-law (which had been true because she expected they’d take advantage in her moment of weakness), seizing the sachel back and calling for protective backup.
It was an act that later set the rest of the family against her
A Radio Show Last Night
“Featured a program about a male ‘love bomber’ who would stay with a woman for years, use her up, and then suddenly leave her for another woman – wrecking the prior one in the process while destroying their trust in the world.
Even though I have been the recipient more than once from this type of behavior, what good did the message serve beyond spreading more fear and doubt in each other?
Communicate, people.
Learn to invest in and believe in each other – and be worth the risk for your partner.”
Enough For Every One
“We are here to love and be loved – not to fight over and destroy each other for resources.”
Even If,
“He deserves the attention.”
God, Knock It Off
“I am tired of being used as a tool for your righteousness.”
Dearest,
Do you understand?
I want no other.
—
(A&E Movie “Jane Eyre” reference)
False Promises
“‘Perfection’ is a lie where by lacking it we self opt out of participating in our own lives.”
(Protection – Massive Attack ft. Tracey Thorn)
Super Hero Fun
Arms
Are very handy.
Tidal Pool
“Influences keep trying to pull, but I’m stuck on you like a fool who doesn’t know what’s good for them – except that I do.”
“What We Long To Say” (Song)
By Athena Stairs, January 27, 2026
I’m the one
Who’s goin’ to feed ya
And I’m the one
Who’s goin’ to please ya
Don’t even think a sec
To run away
I will find you
In the garden
In subtle breeze
My guidance haunts ya
Yeah I’m the one
Who doesn’t turn away
And when you look
Into the mirror
You can flip
To fear your finger
The time at last
Has come to seize our day
So when you’re ready
Come and find me
We can talk
Get to unwinding
All we need is love
To light our way
—
(Contact me for permissions)
Boulevard Of Dreams
On the empty, paved lot next to the gas station and just before the freeway on-ramp, they paced with signs of longing and need, waiting…
She could sense their desperation and saw how that, too easily, they were willing to sell their selves short for just a glimpse – the briefest taste of any paradise.
But she just parked nearby with the engine kept running for a couple of minutes…
Then he turned and walked directly her way.
Illuminations
“Silence isn’t the problem…
I crave and need the connection.”
Free At Last
It’s nice on repeat with the music loop cycling ’round.
In My Mind’s Eye
“I gently entwine my arm through my love’s arm as we interlace fingers and I hug him close to my side and say to the world, ‘I’m going home to rest, now – and taking this lovely man with me.'”
Hmm…
“I honestly don’t know why I save things to play lists…it’s not like I can find them easily again…”
Plot Twist
“Last night, I tried pushing into the core impact point on my back at different angles where the car’s force went directly through it in 2023.
I cannot state well enough how this spot has been a point of extremely fragile contention.
For me to be brave enough to further explore and test unwinding it was a risk.
But my intestines unwound some for the first time in ‘forever,’ and strangely, my weak leg was stronger while my stronger leg got twisted up as if pulled taught by a cord!”
Worth Every Penny
“I tend to maximize benefits, even when there are no benefits, initially.
From this likely comes benefits.
Which is even more reason that I need a partner who will treat me right.”
Hon,
You know where to find me.
I need to cut back on staying out late.
I need to find time to rest.
You are invited.
Empty Batteries
“I think that I over extend my daily capacities.
Once I am able to get going, I don’t want to stop until it’s time to shut down.
But I’m not sure that this is a reboot plan.”
Dear Friend,
Do you think that two accommodators could find balance with each other?
Candid Corvid Productions 