Month: January 2026
Once Bitten
She had known that
Falling for him
Could do this to her
Which is why she had
Steered clear of the rapture
Everyone else fell into
Because once she loved
She committed with everything
And to not have it returned
In a way that felt mutual
By touch and communication
Was catastrophic for her
No,
She wasn’t doing ok.
Slow Death
She didn’t understand how men could just let something precious whither and die from lack of their active attendence.
Wherever She Went
Hope still flickered
But was unrewarded
Bantering At Anonymous Messages
“Listen, I can’t get emotionally strung out and strung along involved if my love is not actually here in my environment for me to be able to help with whatever the issue is.”
New Bruise
Falling gently backward against something at an odd angle placed irregularily.
Gen X Elementary School
“Realm Of The Winged Lion”
This Never Gets Old
(The Patient Demos By Blacklit Canopy)
Loony Tunes In My Childhood
(Wolf Totem – The HU)
(Be The One – Dua Lipa)
(Down To Earth – Flight Falacies ft. Sam Rockwell)
Repost from March 2023.
Insider Scoop For My Man
What I Want From My Man
Love’s Relegation
Every man that she had cared for in this life had turned love’s promise into a tease, a taunt, and a game of withdrawal’s withholding – resulting in her vulnerability’s eventual abandonment.
Whether close in person or half of a world away, they worshipped the chasm of distance to keep from expressing and experiencing her love’s healing, magical, and reinvigorating art.
Oh, they said they wanted it – sure….
But this was just to keep her giving them good attention while they left her hanging.
The worst part of this was that her heart, mind, and soul had been openly honest – but then were starved and whipped into a frenzy while she kept holding space for them, extending kindness and patience.
Eventually, she had to learn to protect herself from further injury, since not one would actually step up to claim her love and care for her, in return.
She’d had to close each door and exert her own resistance through distance.
But living without love had never been a good reason for any season in her belief system.
It created the feeling of living in barren wastelands.
Comfort
She needed direct, in person, essential exchange with him.
Parietal
Stuck compression.
Heartache
Ever since the concussion, she could not find comfort, and her heart would jolt her wide awake when in certain positions desperate for sleeping.
Gen X Senior Parties
Learning Lyrics In The 80’s
Movie Xanadu: Suddenly
Fresh Wounds
It tore her up to have to have limits with him, when all she wanted was to be able to give him everything.
End Of InTolerance
“No more at a distance relationships.”
(Door slam)
Asked Why I Am Angry
“Because a ghost is often cold comfort, and lack of reality makes a person think that they are out of their head – as well as the energy required to sustain faith in such situations drains reserves without replenishment’s biofeedback!”
(But it’s more like extreme and vexed frustration.)
Take Me (Home – Zero 7 ft. Tina Dico))
(In The Waiting Line – Zero 7 & Sophie Barker)
In The Waiting Line
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
,,,
Sobs
Sharpest
Teeth
The Lion & Me (Graphic Warning)
Reason For Love
A Date Like This?
(The Apparition – Sleep Token)
Ever, My Love, It’s Always Been You
She had been searching…
Gods, for too many centuries long – how she’d been searching!
But she had only caught brief glimpses of him while Milenia called her home ever since the eruption between their worlds had cast them far apart from each other.
They had made a promise that binds before time’s dilation had shifted as it often does to new delineations.
Yet, they had encountered barriers causing such anguished despair as they fought their way to rediscover and at last keep it.
And then, she had found a method – a prospective way to bring him forward into their sharing a new reality.
First, she synced with a host body – though she had had to struggle along its growing years to remember why she had chosen to be born into its reality after conjoining.
She did recall that the eyes are windows to the soul, and so she would search for him in other men’s eyes – though she could not remember why or what she was looking for.
She just remembered a feeling…
And she kept trying – but with no success.
But then, one day, she heard a voice that infiltrated her illusions and reawoke her essence.
And her core felt a recognition that she remembered that she had fought so hard to believe in.
Could it be that her most beloved had found his own way back to her?
And was there still time for their reunion and co-reawakening?
Talisman
She had removed the item, for though it was supposed to protect, it drew from her energy.
Yet once it was taken off, her strength diminished back to a feeling of frailty.
Dearest Friend,
“You’re the only game I don’t like to lose.”
-‐-
(Reference to Sleep Token’s “Provider”)
(Ready For Love – Bad Company)
I Need Help With Confidence
I Am Happier
“Around creatively-invested people.”
You & Me In Another Universe
“Visual Bombardment”
Transmutation
Transforming the power of curses into the impetus of blessings.
(Take Me Home – Duskus x San Holo)
It Bothers Me
“That I am becoming less flexible, and more specialized…”
These Injuries
Quickly ushered in symptoms of old age.
The woman figured out that maybe if she was tricked into giving up her youth’s ghost through despair to the Crone, that somehow the Crone would get to take her youth and run away with it as her own.
So the woman fought to stay aware and maintain her claim – although why she had to keep fighting for her own right of ownership of her soul’s being joined to this body through birth was still unknown.
Her purpose here must be significant, somehow.
In fact, every human and creature’s existence here was significant.
But many forces were trying to dumb them all down by the toils of struggle and hardship and turn them against each other.
Such behaviors from these forces indicated symptoms of propagated madness, but the continuous barraging pummeling of hatred’s overwhelming destabilization between kin, community, and country kept fresh the stench of feverish violence and resultant fear of the truth.
It was no wonder why so many avoided awareness and stayed complacent.
False messages promised, “If you stay still, maybe we won’t eat you” – to the amassed and corraled together bleating lambs for the slaughter.
The Elven Mark
Surprisingly, the curse from the pendant that she had briefly tried on so many years ago at the Bay Area farmer’s market upon her first return from Egypt had not destroyed her.
Her compassion for the lashing, envious female energy attached to it and then transferred onto her like a hateful shroud that tried to pry at her pride and ego daily had to find other ways to break apart the woman’s spirit.
So it worked on the weak-willed who would love her, finding ways to expand their fears and self concerns so that they would turn away from and abandon her.
It called upon the chaotic rage of smoke and turmoil from the wild fire’s release to entrap her within a car accident in order to tear her apart from the inside.
And when this was still not enough, it used the charged energy from solar flares and primed potential for slippage in a hotel bathroom shower to further try to control.
But the problem was, this human just kept staring back into the mirror at the spell’s harmful intentions and signs of caused wreckage upon her face and body.
And it became clear that the woman didn’t desire anything but to be free, happy, and prosperous with her family and to at last be with her soul’s partner in blessed and loving harmony.
She didn’t want to fight other humans for resources, or to corrupt, or to take from anything earthly and leave it barren.
And the more the spell worked upon her, the more the woman just turned earnest and sad, resolute eyes to the mirror saying, “I am still here…and I will outlast thee.”
Now, even the spell, itself, began to feel unworthy.
Hon,
There are some things that make me feel strong reactions, but I don’t want the reactions’ influences.
I want to know and understand you better.
I want you to know and understand me better.
But if we speak about important things to both of us here, misunderstandings can too easily happen.
And, we don’t have privacy.
Therefore, this forum limits our communication.
I would like us to have another room with a clear view of each other – and nothing filtering or causing distortion between us.
Can you bridge for me?
Can we go some place together where we can have and take time without interruption to get to know each other better?
