Mind Walking

“I am not this talkative verbally.

Except when cuing in on people’s needs, or minor social interactions around me where only a small amount filters to the surface.

And if under pressure to express more complexity quickly, I have to fight blocks and lockdowns along channels when attempting to interpret deep internal to external expressing.

Therefore, much of who I really am and believe is relegated to my own forum such as here.

I try more and more to allow myself to freely express myself in society.

But my most free times are paralleling, still in a type of secluded secrecy.

I try to allow myself my moods, my laughter, and playfulness – but even then, often, my inner critic tied to past societal diatribe is too much of a witness.

How can I still be so isolated when there is so much that I can see and long to be?

I guess it is has to do with lack of “safety.'”