A Love Letter’s Reveal

I have not known for sure that it is me that you have wanted.

This has created immense insecurity in me.

I have loved you from the very beginning.

My heart’s soul recognized your love as having been made from the same cloth as mine.

I cannot remember what I said to you that first time that I crossed the line.

I thought that perhaps my words would not matter to you – but I felt compelled then to bridge and give them to you.

I sensed something there could be between us – a shared essentiality that I could not ignore.

But I also knew that you needed time to figure out and decide things for your self, in your own way and processes.

I have loved you from behind the scenes, from behind the veils that have ever cloaked me.

I will continue loving you.

I will support you.

Sincerely, from the depths of my heart.

Even when I am pissy, frustrated, and  totally angry at you for misreading my signals and/or seemingly deliberately misunderstanding me and getting it “wrong” – I still love, want, and need you in my life, playing your part.

And my heart – even when it decides to do the crazy things that it feels it must needs to do that also mis-signal you in its own attempts to still self protect – will always want to return to yours, no matter what.

I love your essence.

I love your core.

I still do not know you in our physical reality but I want to – always, and more.

So do you want to figure out how to make our dreams come true together at last, my dearest darling lover baby heart-throbbing, love-aspiring – yet nihilistic existentialist?

If you do, please reach out to me clearly.

Just let me know that you want me too, my honey bun bee.

Your sugar is here, ready to still struggle against the inevitable demise of your securing me.

Yet secretly, hopefully and happily anticipating.