Month: February 2026

Where Demons Tread

My Love,

Candid Corvid Productions

I haven’t written because I have been hurting.

I have wanted you to come be with me.

But why would you choose me – out of anyone else in the world?

I am used to losing.

Even though it doesn’t suit me.

And I want you, need you, desire you – yet feel powerless to claim you on my own.

I love you so much, Baby.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

A Woman's Plight

5:33-6:33 AM

Candid Corvid Productions

Because she had woken up from deep sleep to use the bathroom, she then heard the wolf’s sharp request intermittent barks, and got up again to let her out, give her dogs more water, and turn the fan toward the heavy-coated wolf so that the wolf could cool down from the fire that the hound always loved to cozy up in front of.

She reached fingers through the small cattery cage to carress her sweet tiger who brushed up against the bars in loving greeting while she waited for the two dogs to be ready to come back inside.

She realized then in the early morning quiet like those past settled evenings when the four of them had gathered in front of the fire to support their last previous cat’s winding down passing that it wasn’t that her animals were too much for her to manage.

No, they were her loving team, still there, patiently waiting for her.

It was that her house had become crowded full of others’ lives recallibrating in ways that seemed to have very little room for and not much to do with her own being able to function – although there were some other healing benefits of the reuniting.

And she had been bombarded by extreme overwhelm from the injuries, poverty struggles, and fighting to hold herself together to provide them all with stability when she had no longer felt any herself.

Because she had managed to straighten up the house some yesterday in that morning’s too early ‘wake up call,’ for a moment in these early hours today she could briefly see her own space and critter unit reflected in its own clarity.

Her posse was in a holding pattern…

And as she observed, the hound nibbled at her hind flank, apparently chasing a flea, so therefore needed flea treatment.

She rubbed the hound where she’d itched, and in that moment’s caring exchange, the hound turned back to look at her with deep, soulful eyes as if to ask, “is this really the end between us?”

She needed more care.

The four of them needed more care and space of their own again to reclaim their natural rhythms together.

She didn’t know what to do about this, as she hadn’t felt capable for far too long on so many levels, and had been so worried about and limited by extreme lack of finances.

A Woman's Plight, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Yesterday

Candid Corvid Productions

First neurofeedback session in over two months because she had been too hurt and fragile to try again since last November.

The concussion had interrupted spinal communication and had compressed her chest, as well as had made it necessary for her to clamp down and not allow feelings to flow.

The session reconnected these things, and she had memories come to surface that had been hidden away, long ago.

Like realizing in a connective continuum that hypervigilance had pretty much always been necessary.

And remembering one brief time where her ex had opened up to her with no warning, and she had been positioned wrong to receive it in timing – and he never did, again.

Then, for the rest of the afternoon, she had been crying hard about feeling like she had to rehome beloved pets.

She broke down to the lady at the shelter as she examined that option, to a family member with their partner – and even to her caring and supportive neighbor.

Tears kept flowing on her own throughout the evening and a type of shock – shock from so many losses.

What the heck was all of this?

Emotional fatigue and a lifetime of over performing’s exhaustion while having to lead alone, carrying too much for too long without integral partner support had worn into her.

She could feel her heart wrestling with all of it.

She wanted to shed the weight’s pressure – like a snake sheds skin that has grown too tight to live within.

Altered States, Comedy

No Room In A House Full Of Rooms

Candid Corvid Productions

Fencing and chairs are placed upon the couch coverlets to keep the dogs off, which also keeps the humans off.

Well, at least I am kept off.

Piles continually accruing accumulate unrelated to any of my functioning – as do skitters of loose cat litter, floating balls of wolf fluff, muddy paw prints and human foot traffic residues from lack of entryway rugs – because if they were left on the floor, a dog or two would pee upon them.

So, instead, everything else gets spread across onto the floor – and the dogs pee and have to be cleaned up after, anyway.

Did I mention that my kitchen chairs and beautiful vintage coffee table have had their real, solid wood and filagreed beauty desecrated by unrepentent multi-gnawing?

And dust accumulates on any surface as soon as it is cleaned due to high activity passage.

And when I picked up the glass salt container today while trying to cook, some type of mysterious goo dripped from its base onto my hand from the kitchen counter.

I stopped trying to cook, covered the meat with tin foil, stuck it back into the fridge, and walked away carrying some strange supplement mixture to consume, instead of real food.

Let me tell you about the layers of pet gates to travel through – and blockades of a fan and chair to move – to get back and forth between kitchen and bedrooms.

All of this requires precision flow of movements and wrecks near every step if one has torn joints or instable limb issues.

Also, my lovely kitchen curtains got a hole chewed through them, and one day I came home to find that the youngest dog had crawled through the hole (why?!) and was standing there in one position confused until I helped him out as I tsked at him in bemused exacerbation.

(Hilarious, I know…)

Then I just completely cut the curtain – eliminating the danger and any ‘last remnants’ of my former attachment to them.

And I am still not sure where we put the missing piano chair.”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Giving Up

Candid Corvid Productions

“As the captain of yet another ark filled with so many inhabitants which are now under my protection’s jurisdiction as I, myself, am required to now travel abroad to work for reparations despite my own injuries – and with very little help from anybody – I now declare this floating overflowed zone as lacking for recepetion of any company!”