Author: Candid Corvid Productions

“The fact that he doesn’t realize nor acknowledge the harm that he is causing is alarming!”

What intimacy was meant for.

At some point, Anxious Attachment evolves into Secure Attachment because “it’s all been seen and experienced before.”

There’s a flattened feeling that pervades like depression when someone plays false, then leaves – as if being asked for the minimum reciprocation is a crime against humanity.

Can seem like realities.

Two steps, three steps, four…

If where I roam only encounters avoidants, I must reroute to more diverse environments.

“Yeah, don’t ‘mess with’ my delicate internal balance…” wry cackle of self reflection. “The team in here kind of takes that sh** rather seriously!”

“You deleted everything?” he asked, surprised by this unusual reprieve.

“I had no intention of ‘persecuting’ you in my need for self defending,” she admitted.

Of course she had told him to go away and never approach again unless he was serious.

His impulses left to their own command left a wake of “victim” delirium! 

“Where are you?” her mind called out to him. “I never wanted to hurt you!”

But the impulses tangling his behaviors were too much for him to undo.

She hated that she’d had to challenge him, and that this could have hurt his heart.

So she deleted all of their messages to allow memories to make a fresh start.

She stopped kissing him because she had a strange throat inflammation never before experienced, and she wanted to protect him – not give whatever it was to him, if it was an infection.

Yet, somehow, by no longer engaging, her mind became more clear, and her out-of-control craving diminished…

She began resisting his thrall once she felt his intentions shifting.
She listened to her heart, and gathered courage to speak for it.
She heard her mind’s logic, found it sound, and translated.
Instinct sensed an imbalace in justice and confronted, stopping his game propagating.
She wasn’t a pawn to be toyed with.
She was meant to have and deserved better treatment.
As she countered, he evaded and dissolved back into the elements.

Unaccountable

Vs.

Accountable

“Overhearing the brief but quiet, complex drumbeat surreptitiously played upon the conga in his passing, her ears pricked and heart skipped a beat, yearning for more – and realizing that she would not get any.”

“At risk for doing something foolish and stupid.”

“Hey! I won!” he yelled out in assertive frustration to no one in particular as he put distance between himself and this latest foibled encounter. “I had her right where I wanted her!”