Author: Candid Corvid Productions

I was funneled toward and slipped into the roles too easily.

Not the same kind of dream as tout-publicized, but one that I still find is worthy.

A self-propagating internal sludge difficult to counteract once takes hold – for it builds its case upon projected “if-only’s” that may or may not have any basis in “reality.”

Deep inside, I became resentful.

Positive Assessments vs. Negative Conclusions

Creating original works and taking what already exists to new levels.

In reviewing her story, we find the heroine is struggling.

I seek, yet nothing appeals to rekindle the spark within me.

It’s interesting speaking with some of the younger generations where we share similar interests and the only difference between us is that I’ve just been alive longer.

Is humanity ready to evolve?

I am not interested in imposing my will upon others, just in stating my point of view as my own.

The experience can make a person later feel uncomfortable when they gather their energy’s focus to reach for more.

The lyrics being sung to a beat-based guitar, strumming as I exited the pub after a creatives’ group meeting.

Yep, that about sums it up – and I have always tried to deliver.

“Living as I speak.”

It’s just that my oomph fizzled out once I got stuck in enforced stagnation.

Cut off from the types of elements and people who inspire me.

I really can’t recommend this to anyone – except as a short-term measure or intervention.

Now I’m struggling to kick off the crust from my previously established persona as I keep striving for fairer weather.

From blue dragon to black wolf.

Aroooo!

Doctors say at least 3 months, but I better start now if I hope to meet that.

We got to rest up, had a good show, friends visited and hugged, and we acquired more minerals!

I have been having a snip of “bad attitude.”

I feel a sense of disillusionment which seems too all-pervading.

Maybe it is just from the physical setbacks of the accident.

But it is also something that’s accumulated in my over fifty years of living.

I am bored.

Restless.

Not much is inspiring me in the common day interactions with other people and community.

I make the most of tiny opportunities.

But it’s like I have done all of this before.

I try to be comforted by the reemergence of familiar social patterns now welcoming me in this new land.

There is water, lush greenery, and an almost willfully-ignorant innocence abounding.

Not everything has yet been corrupted and tainted – which seems opposite to California’s demographics

There is hope here to create something endurant.

But I am disoriented and the space around me feels “empty” – as if who or what I need to add to and/or accompany me is not actually here.

I guess I still feel as if something essential is missing.

Like a lifemate or greater purpose to be pursuing.

Maybe I somehow carry the seeds of its fruition inside of me.

Meanwhile, absence of its embodiment has me in a fowl mood.

I’ve begun growl-chuffing.

https://myodfw.com/wildlife-viewing/species/snakes

When I was younger, I would “just roll with it.”

I’d pick up the slack “for the good of others,” even though “robbed” of the supports I was promised.

But I just don’t have that kind of patience nor energy to spare for such sacrifices anymore.

For my having to put more effort toward something than I should while recovering – only to have other people not pull their weight and, in fact, add more stress and pressure to it – is not something that I want to invest in further.

They tell me to take it easy – and believe me, I am careful to stay within my limitations’ parameters.

But because I test and push the thresholds, there are levels they’d be surprised to know where I’m progressing.

It turns out that the hybrid rental vehicle also has a sun roof. I had not remembered to use it!

There were dozens of wild, young kittens that I had to gather and save. All of them purring and happy, and a momma cat or two to accompany.

One can choose to explode in frustration and be productive – or explode and not be productive!