Author: Candid Corvid Productions

In her mind, she was resilient and capable of transcending limitations.

But in her reality, she wondered if she had cognitive dissonance.

For she had no experience of her efforts being reflected positively in a partnership.

Turning inward to face it after trying to outpace it, I find that it is overwhelming to feel it all-encompassing.

When one has had it stripped from them, it is confusing as to whether or not one should seek to gain it back.

It is hilarious that I crave getting connected to a partner when I cannot afford basic necessities.

I think I need to shove the entire concept off of the table, sweep it onto a dust pan, and dump it!

I have begun looking for a kid cart or other trailer for my bicycle to tow my supplies to work.

It’s a likely inevitability that my blue dragon may break down before funds can gather to keep it flying.

A blend of tall, built, sensitive, and chiseled: I almost jumped out of my car and gave him my card as he helmeted to ride away on his black motorcycle.

Don’t call me “Maggie” and don’t project onto me.

The moment this happens, we’ve no place to start.

Taco Time tacos with sour cream minus tomatoes or two side orders combined equaling eight meatballs crowned by parmesian from Subway.

He: “A good relationship should be like a lucrative business transaction. It should have flow, poise, and synergy.”

She: “I don’t see why I should be learning this from you – if you are not going to be with me.”

Relief soaks in from songs my aspiring spirit can identify with on the airwaves.

I love how music has evolved with me as I keep growing.

Maybe the genres of music is one reason my being here has been right timing.

I can identify with so much of it.

I have always held myself to higher standards without false bravado.

I have always pushed for expanding my capabilities.

But now, it is enough to just exist.

And I can walk away when vexed.

By my own hands of faith, I have seeded new generations.

I weep for the waste of my efforts and energy.

I weep as there seems nothing left of me.

Sinking into the abyss of internal focus regardless of discomfort within this tired shell of a body, I wonder if the body-mind is truly more about psychology rather than physiology.

And I marvel that for all of these years I have been brightly optimistic no matter the dire circumstances encountered or thrown at me.

As I settle back into what sense of self I have currently and take stock of the damage to my confidence’s integrity, how did I manage to believe there is someone out there that can match me?

I have fought back lies, deceit, betrayal, and compromise in order the keep the light brighter inside than the suffocating encroachment of darkness.

But what am I left with in my core now that I have consumed will’s once seeming limitless energy?

I have just the shadows as company – and myself, worn as the wind sawing through limbs of old, bestraggled trees.

If I become as the crone and let the dark take me, perhaps she will pass through me and leave.

If I forget all that I have been, will I find myself reborn with the spring?

It is wonderful to be in this small town and get connected with other creative artists and healers. Being able to more equally share the load now in my family vs. how most everything had been up to me previously takes getting used to – but I like and appreciate getting to redefine my priorities.

A flavor can be good, yet the texture is mooky.

I keep calling a song title as “The Hills Have A Thousand Eyes,” mixing the actual song title “The Night Has A Thousand Eyes” with the titled oldie cannibal movie The Hills Have Eyes. Somehow, the two became associated…

I remember asking for my sight to be dimmed so that I would not see so clearly through to the heart of things to my own chagrin. But now, I want my sight back again.

He could only love someone who did not threaten him.

If a woman was self empowered – even if she deferred to him, he still felt insecure.

It was hard to grow in such a relationship: having to watch every step for a mistake; never able to do something “right” that made him happy.

The most she could do to please him was to diminish herself.

And in the end, this just gave him reason to disrespect her further.

How does a more mature woman think it could now be possible – nay, probable that she could find a better partnerahip after such misuse and waste of her time by another?

Looking around, the closest candidates were already taken.

But, even they did not contain that spark of romantic interactive intelligence she craved.

Due to human corruption, greed, deception, etc., it is up to humans to overcome these aspects and create good in the world to counteract and help our species and the world rise above.

I dislike that being on the moutain for three years had such a wrecking impact on me physically and psychologically. My power was taken from me, and any effort to succeed required overexpenditures.

It is interesting at times for me to experience being in these various positions.

Sometimes I feel elated, and at other times, it feels tragic.

I know how I began; how I evolved; how I strove; how I overcame.

And it just seems like I ought to have achieved more advancement.

However, expenditure of energy tallies.

Means I am mortal –
That I can feel weak.

I hate feeling drained:
How do I restore gain?

“You may be capable of superhuman feats, but you are still human, and that’s okay.”

Maybe he is the treasure.

Allowing one’s self to perceive that which is not normally obvious.

“It has nothing at all to do with me. I guess that’s what’s depressing.”

I am simple, yet more complex than what I see around me.

In the shadows between dark and light is where you’ll find me.