Author: Candid Corvid Productions

Was it by the jeweler’s will or energy dug up from the wrong hill which cursed the lustrous gem and targeted the innocent who donned it?

(Title of multiple meanings)

She reached for the shining, white-rainbowed spectrolite, knowing it was not meant for her but wondering what she would see.

She was met by her youth being drained before her reflectioned eyes by a spirit that was angry and filled with envy.

I suspect that mirrors are not the best mirrors for me.

It happened right when I first returned home from Egypt in 2017.

We both saw my image become distorted suddenly.

Whatever was in that pendant I tried on was not friendly.

Or maybe whatever it was lept from it, and now flits between mirrors – harrassing.

What do I do with the space of silence?

How ought I strive to be?

(Hee hee!)

I write and post in order to define and evaluate my inner workings.

It is a way for me to reconnect with myself, process, and grieve.

Part of my healing process is to declare lost faith while seeking strength again to believe.

This is my forum to announce intentions and promote joy for others to receive.

I will state my truths so that I can be properly perceived.

A New Revolution casting aside pretenses so who we are truly as individuals can be tended to and nourished positively. Maybe then, we can end atrocities and killing – for they are unnecessary.

How do I gain confidence in self when what I will commit to for me personally is constantly renegotiable – being erased from the screen in response to daily life tending?

What can I rely on? Who do I want to be? What talents ought I to be further developing.

It seems to just comes down to I evolve to meet emergencies: what is left of me is confused and trembling because there are no reboot defaults to rely upon in my core, anymore.

Much of whar I see gets filtered through a preset of “how will this best serve my family?”

Not a bad thing – in fact, highly necessary.

But, the process makes me continually break apart and grind down any potential for frivolity.

If any interest that I have cannot be picked up in a moment, continued briefly, and then put down again until the next time I get to it and still be able to advance in progressing, then how can it hold relevancy and benefit me?

This nomadic type of lifestyle has infiltrated my programming of what a “normal life” would be.

Now, quite frankly, I get restless if I am for too long slowing down for rebooting energy!

My heart feels like it is expanding with Lifeforce that wants to expand and go exploring.

How do I tend to home needs and yet be allowed to go wandering?

Maybe that’s it: I need more positive experiences to better choose my new directions.

Angel number 1200 is a message from your angels to stop and take a look at the bigger picture. There’s no need to panic, stress out, or worry – things will be ok… Your mind needs time to rest and relax so you can gather new creative thoughts.

ministryofnumerology.com/angel-number-1200-biblical-meaning-symbolism-love-significance/#:~:text=Angel%20Number%201200%20%E2%80%93%20The%20Hidden,can%20gather%20new%20creative%20thoughts.

(This is exactly what I needed to hear today!)

Speaking of my insecurities and where I feel the weakest, the average onlooker would not know this about me – for I have become competant in external navigating.

I had a saxophone that I named my golden goose, but I sold it because I was afraid to play it for lack of privacy.

I used to tinker at the school’s lesson piano, but then realized that my peers whom I wanted to impress might be disuaded.

Singing is something I do passionately when the moment takes me – but then, in public, my throat closes to clenching.

I am too deep of an accomodator – an empath afraid to go further down on her luck.

There is a thin veneer that I rely upon, having had my barriers infiltrated and burned through.

But, if I had a man that believed in me, I wonder if there would even be limits to what I could do!

For I belirve it comes down to insecurity from not having solid ground to stand on.

When it is just me advocating for my dreams, it is safer to chameleonize and keep moving on.

It’s Spring Break!

No wonder energies have scattered!

Gold and blue flames casting heat in their glow, I and the hound and the wolf shared a small bowlfull of canned, reduced-salt peas for the first time this evening.

One by one, pea by pea, they each gently sucked the green tartness from my pinched fingertips and either promptly, delicately chewed and swallowed – or rooted about on the floor after dropping them.

It is moments like these that must be made room for and then partaken of in order to create new patterns of trust between each other, and within our new surroundings.

It all feels like the same to me – just ten years+ later, more worn as reclaiming scattered pieces.

I have no real reason to think that love will happen “again” for me. Afterall, I never really had it from a partner.

Oh sure, they made some noises and professed some things – which soon after seemed easily forgotten.

No…I am the one who rallied and strove, while they just chose to not leave sooner.

It isn’t the same.

How to care for another human has always seemed more accessible than figuring out what I need. How does one give their self nourishment beyond what I have been doing?

Every night, I am stripped down to less than nothing – and the next day, I struggle to rebuild myself again.

I have always been a big life dreamer: more interested in the larger picture than the minutiae of tiny details.

Athough I recognize their importance, they can bombard the senses – leaving little room for imagination.

A combo that when finished with elliptical, thigh, and ab routine helps restore lymphatic movement.

Seeing the 844 angel number means that you are safe. Growth is often inhibited by our fears, but 844 is here to tell you that you don’t have to be afraid. You are allowed to grow and trust in your progress.

https://lifefamilyfun.com/spiritual-health/angel-numbers/844-angel-number/#:~:text=What%20Does%20Seeing%20The%20Angel,and%20trust%20in%20your%20progress.

(I pick and choose them :D)

It is nice to know that over time, I am consistent.

The more I settle into myself, the more I have fun by myself.

I like me.

I am a lot of fun!

Often when and after I post, I worry what people will think of me.

I have gotten such flak in the past for being a romantic.

A spoon left on a napkin for later reuse; a takeout soup container returned to the fridge after 10pm slurping: these are the hallmarks of bachelors.

The master healers gave me some things I needed – but was not yet ready for. Now, I’m paying for it.

(the receiving)

My foe is me.

My youngling has been sick and spending time with a friend, who is also sick from the coworker who brought it to their workplace a few days ago.

We miss each other greatly and are too long overdue on our popcorn-and-movie binging.

But, they are trying to stay away from me as I am already fatigually compromised.

I appreciate this because lately I have been feeling like I am just dodging and weaving a next catastrophe.

I need time and space to resettle into my bones and reboot my confidence.