Altered States, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Making A Simple Chart

“I am on my 4th rough draft now because it’s all about placement of identification symbols – which identifying symbols (letters, shapes, icons, and associations) has been the main issue of my prior brain injury – now combined with blocked interpretive cognition from the concussion, as well as slight tremoring when trying to access fine to large motor skills.

I can literally feel my brain quivering from the normally minor strain of just trying to draw line measures straight, and then penning the symbols in proper spaces tries to for some reason bounce me around in tiny spacing.

Not sure how much I should be pushing to achieve progress, but how else can I regain anything?!”

Altered States, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

The Struggle

“Regarding school by itself, I am trying to catch up with 70% completed by the 10th to gain an ‘Incomplete’ on both classes, which would allow me to gain an extension.

But my cognitive decoding of instructions, tasks, and then applications has slowed down to a third of what I had with prior brain injury.

I do not know if I can accomplush any of this seemingly simple sequential step-taking.

Just working on one assignment – granted, at 2:30am now in the morning – is straining my concussion.

But during the day, I am dealing with navigating phone calls, appointments, and searching for more survival resources.

And, I need help to decode and identify what my software applications class is asking functionally – which has been delayed all quarter even before the shower accident.

Yes, this is why I come here…

To have some belief that I am still capable.”

A Woman's Plight, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Sabotaged

The general plan I had was that
I’d return to work in December

Having completed first stages of
Retraining adding to foundations

I accessed every limited resource
Using momentum’s gain to launch

Got smacked back down – literally
Now nearly 2 1/2 more years of loss

A Woman's Plight, The Crone

Adrift On The Sea

I have resented the crone since
The partial stroke day he left us

And I saw the ruin in vision of
What it all meant to our family

Having not spent my life checking out
I had mapped countless patterns in it

Shocked by a flipped betrayal so severe
With inability to save what I’d held dear

I was tricked, you see, attacked indirectly
And all I’d built crashed down around me

Extra spin being some projection spell
Designed to turn all blame against me

Disguising the fact premeditation’s will
Contorted surrounding ground stability

The best I could do was yank at cords
Grabbing basics from ship for life boat

All of our beloved chickens went to a farm
Where were hopefully loved and protected

Our rabbits luckily found a new home
But we kept one dog and the four cats

I didn’t even remember the one dog there
Must’ve suppressed all that stress barking

I remember how his love and warm fur felt
His small presence as our warding talisman

It’s not like we just changed housing
I had been supporting our family by

Trying to finish my degree to qualify
For gaining a solid career’s security

I had been trying to help expand
His business as my degree’s focus

And he just collapsed it all to be free
Rather than helping prevent damage

Who was this choice better for?
Not the rest of us that’s for sure

There has been no real recovery for me
Cast adrift fashioning nets in wreckage

Keeping us afloat by ingenuity
My centrality being safe haven

Stream of Thought

Today – December 1, 2025

“Earlier, I had clicked the WordPress switch to ‘private,’ and deleted my link to here from my Instagram account.

I was not sure if followers would still see what I post, and I was not sure that I wanted to be viewed anymore.

This project has fundamentally been for me to express my own aspects while learning about and experiencing myself.

Yet, sometimes I have worried that other people…

Well…

I am clearly showing personal aspects of myself with no control over what viewers interpret through their own filtered perceptions.

But maybe my posting helps keep me keep rebuilding strength – although there is a disconnect between ‘here’ and ‘reality.’

People on the street don’t know these things about me – nor would I want them to, really.

I like being private.

These are rare glimpses of me working from the inside-outwardly.

I want to keep posting, but I need to reexamine what this all means to me.