Is the pursuit better
Than experiencing?
Author: Candid Corvid Productions
From The Beginning,
She could not remember
What she had said to him
Only that she had extended
What she thought obviously
To the point and deserved
By his art and heard heart
But he had seen right through
The mask she’d tried to present
In her efforts to support him
While not giving herself away
Movie: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner – Joey’s Dad’s Speech Spoiler
Once Bitten
She had known that
Falling for him
Could do this to her
Which is why she had
Steered clear of the rapture
Everyone else fell into
Because once she loved
She committed with everything
And to not have it returned
In a way that felt mutual
By touch and communication
Was catastrophic for her
No,
She wasn’t doing ok.
Slow Death
She didn’t understand how men could just let something precious whither and die from lack of their active attendence.
Wherever She Went
Hope still flickered
But was unrewarded
Bantering At Anonymous Messages
“Listen, I can’t get emotionally strung out and strung along involved if my love is not actually here in my environment for me to be able to help with whatever the issue is.”
New Bruise
Falling gently backward against something at an odd angle placed irregularily.
Gen X Elementary School
“Realm Of The Winged Lion”
This Never Gets Old
(The Patient Demos By Blacklit Canopy)
Loony Tunes In My Childhood
(Wolf Totem – The HU)
(Be The One – Dua Lipa)
(Down To Earth – Flight Falacies ft. Sam Rockwell)
Repost from March 2023.
Insider Scoop For My Man
What I Want From My Man
Love’s Relegation
Every man that she had cared for in this life had turned love’s promise into a tease, a taunt, and a game of withdrawal’s withholding – resulting in her vulnerability’s eventual abandonment.
Whether close in person or half of a world away, they worshipped the chasm of distance to keep from expressing and experiencing her love’s healing, magical, and reinvigorating art.
Oh, they said they wanted it – sure….
But this was just to keep her giving them good attention while they left her hanging.
The worst part of this was that her heart, mind, and soul had been openly honest – but then were starved and whipped into a frenzy while she kept holding space for them, extending kindness and patience.
Eventually, she had to learn to protect herself from further injury, since not one would actually step up to claim her love and care for her, in return.
She’d had to close each door and exert her own resistance through distance.
But living without love had never been a good reason for any season in her belief system.
It created the feeling of living in barren wastelands.
Comfort
She needed direct, in person, essential exchange with him.
Parietal
Stuck compression.
Heartache
Ever since the concussion, she could not find comfort, and her heart would jolt her wide awake when in certain positions desperate for sleeping.
Gen X Senior Parties
Learning Lyrics In The 80’s
Movie Xanadu: Suddenly
Fresh Wounds
It tore her up to have to have limits with him, when all she wanted was to be able to give him everything.
End Of InTolerance
“No more at a distance relationships.”
(Door slam)
Asked Why I Am Angry
“Because a ghost is often cold comfort, and lack of reality makes a person think that they are out of their head – as well as the energy required to sustain faith in such situations drains reserves without replenishment’s biofeedback!”
(But it’s more like extreme and vexed frustration.)
Take Me (Home – Zero 7 ft. Tina Dico))
(In The Waiting Line – Zero 7 & Sophie Barker)
In The Waiting Line
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
,,,
Sobs
Sharpest
Teeth
The Lion & Me (Graphic Warning)
Reason For Love
A Date Like This?
(The Apparition – Sleep Token)
Ever, My Love, It’s Always Been You
She had been searching…
Gods, for too many centuries long – how she’d been searching!
But she had only caught brief glimpses of him while Milenia called her home ever since the eruption between their worlds had cast them far apart from each other.
They had made a promise that binds before time’s dilation had shifted as it often does to new delineations.
Yet, they had encountered barriers causing such anguished despair as they fought their way to rediscover and at last keep it.
And then, she had found a method – a prospective way to bring him forward into their sharing a new reality.
First, she synced with a host body – though she had had to struggle along its growing years to remember why she had chosen to be born into its reality after conjoining.
She did recall that the eyes are windows to the soul, and so she would search for him in other men’s eyes – though she could not remember why or what she was looking for.
She just remembered a feeling…
And she kept trying – but with no success.
But then, one day, she heard a voice that infiltrated her illusions and reawoke her essence.
And her core felt a recognition that she remembered that she had fought so hard to believe in.
Could it be that her most beloved had found his own way back to her?
And was there still time for their reunion and co-reawakening?
Talisman
She had removed the item, for though it was supposed to protect, it drew from her energy.
Yet once it was taken off, her strength diminished back to a feeling of frailty.
Dearest Friend,
“You’re the only game I don’t like to lose.”
-‐-
(Reference to Sleep Token’s “Provider”)
(Ready For Love – Bad Company)
I Need Help With Confidence
I Am Happier
“Around creatively-invested people.”
You & Me In Another Universe
“Visual Bombardment”
Transmutation
Transforming the power of curses into the impetus of blessings.
(Take Me Home – Duskus x San Holo)
It Bothers Me
“That I am becoming less flexible, and more specialized…”
These Injuries
Quickly ushered in symptoms of old age.
The woman figured out that maybe if she was tricked into giving up her youth’s ghost through despair to the Crone, that somehow the Crone would get to take her youth and run away with it as her own.
So the woman fought to stay aware and maintain her claim – although why she had to keep fighting for her own right of ownership of her soul’s being joined to this body through birth was still unknown.
Her purpose here must be significant, somehow.
In fact, every human and creature’s existence here was significant.
But many forces were trying to dumb them all down by the toils of struggle and hardship and turn them against each other.
Such behaviors from these forces indicated symptoms of propagated madness, but the continuous barraging pummeling of hatred’s overwhelming destabilization between kin, community, and country kept fresh the stench of feverish violence and resultant fear of the truth.
It was no wonder why so many avoided awareness and stayed complacent.
False messages promised, “If you stay still, maybe we won’t eat you” – to the amassed and corraled together bleating lambs for the slaughter.
