“Is that like Vitamin C?
Can I buy it as a supplement?”
Blog
Trauma Bonded
“No matter what I do, I can’t seem to escape.”
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
The Gamut
Shrinking down to nothing to
Exploding to reclaim space
Either way a self defending
Trying to reclaim balance
With who I really am
Lost in static’s cling
Symptomatics
“Reactions to compounding lag in an injured system from having to repeatedly respond to new emergencies that push pressure loads beyond capacities into enforced quick adapting can lead to reactions and/or shut downs which present behaviors much like complex PTSD – either drastically slowing or suddenly forcefully expelling energy as a result of the system’s desperate attempts to create space for self regulation.”
Encouragement
“Even with continuing and multi-varied discouragements, I must cling to a moment ago’s realization that as I continue working new patterns over and over, my methods are beginning to adapt into streamlining.
Perhaps much of the issue exacerbating my injuries is constant disruption negatively reinforcing sensory overwhelm and overstimulation.”
Steps Back & Forward
“Although I may have just been exposed to COVID right in time to potentially sabotage attending my retraining, it is nice to note that my handwriting is beginning to smooth again at times – compared to right after and since the accident injuries disrupted motor skills coordination.”
Complications
“Upon complications, upon complications…
Nothing new, really – just another day in a choppy sea trying to keep our heads above water.”
A Layered Cake
(No Holding Back – HAEVN)
Dear Friend,
Of course I want you
I’ve always wanted you
I was just afraid to love you
Because it tugs on everything
You’re always on my mind and
Pulsing in rhythms of soul’s body
How do we get out of our own ways
And together, reach for The Divine?
Healthy Containment
But, My Darling
(Don’t You Give Up On Me – Brandon Lake)
Groan
“Tomorrow’s going to be a long day due to even less sleep than usual.”
(The Sea – HAEVN)
Dear Friend,
Do you think there must be a limit
On how much love’s shared between
Two consenting and committed adults?
Nervous Beginnings
Will our inhibitions keep us stuck in a rut?
What right do they have to mess with us?
Is this what it means by leaping in faith?
But what if we’re frozen stiff at the gate?
How do we propel ourselves into momentum?
Does speaking in code assure of same intentions?
I know desire to kiss you coaxes temptation
But is your approval implied by arrival’s attestation?
If reached out my hand, would you offer yours, too?
If counted one to three, would we crash into
Each other, bonk heads, then laugh all jittery?
I’d like to be smooth, yet awkward is temporary
My Feelings
But, I See Godzilla…
Oh, He Found The Button
Winter Bones
Already bones are freezing
Then suddenly overheating
Because primary internal heat
Likes it eighty without layering
Dear Friend,
“You were like me…
You gave more than everything.
And I love you all the more for it.”
Fault Lines
When a healer warrior woman
Is paired with a male human
That relationship develops conflict
If her power is seen as threatening
—-
(Title of multiple meanings)
Is It Really Too Much To Ask?
“To be able to clean my own bedroom?!”
Darn It!
“Even only mildly and briefly vacuuming increases facial zones’ numbing reactivation!”
(Grrrr)
(Where The Heart Is – HAEVN)
And Just Maybe,
He could be the one to take away the pain and let her heart go quiet.
You See,
Any man that she had loved had discarded and/or had blamed her for their sufferings – so regardless of their claims’ lack of validity, she was haunted by the idea that somehow her love was tainted by some sort of poisoning.
(We Are – HAEVN)
“The King & I”
The Alternate Herd
Benefits Of Therapy
Better With Age
Legacy
(We Are – HAEVN Music, Symphon8c Tales)
Rapture
“No, I’d likely not want to go…
I’d likely want to stay and help restore Earth to its Eden.”
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
More Masking
“I have some ‘neck folds’ and ‘jowel’ contours that I keep working on to retrain fascial strengthening and smoothing due to the anterior portion of my neck injuries.
But trends in society like to say that this is how I should look for ‘my age’ – and if I didn’t have them, they would likely project jealousy!”
(Celestial Gratitude – Faller Music)
Days As We Knew Them
She’d heard this evening that a suspected immense ship had come into range of their planet – and begged inwardly that he’d arrive to be with her as soon as possible, while they still had time left.
(Particles – Nothing But Thieves, Piano Version)
How Can I Now?
Ever
Feel
Good
Enough
Non-Compete Clause: Rope Dart Fire Flow
It just isn’t fair – how can I compete with this?
Challenge Round
If You Love Someone, Tell Them
(Lover, Please Stay – Nothing But Thieves)
(Die Slowly Without Complaint – Amethyst Kiah)
(You’re Only Lonely – J.D. Souther)
(WAY2U – Texture)
Devotion
She would rather tear her own castle apart than ever turn against him.
Ad Hilarity
“The Geico Gecko? OMG – I’m speechless!” says the woman talking to it.
(She should be – because she shouldn’t be seeing that critter or talking to it in her reality!)
Candid Corvid Productions 