“Will you?”
—
(Multiple meanings)
Blog
“Flow Through”
(Flow – Crooked Colours)
Song repost from January 2023.
Dear Friend,
“I wish you were here so that I could learn to stop evading and get to build trust with you.”
Dear Alex,
“I feel panicked inside…
I am more shy now since the concussion.
Finding out how extremely shy that I was pre-concussion has me distraught because I want to meet him, but I’m afraid that I will run in the other direction – again!
I can’t tell if this reactivity is due to heightened self protection due to injury – or because I know that he can actually ‘see me,’ more truly than anyone ever has before.
I have never let anyone that close to me, even when I wanted to.”
When I Was Younger
“Guys my age mostly ignored me – and I was the same then as I am now, internally.”
Unicorns
Extremely shy and evasive…
How are we ever to meet?!
“Everything…”
(Man Is an Island – Emmylou Harris)
“Man Is An Island”
(Got To Give It Up – Marvin Gaye)
Sex Appeal
“I don’t feel like I’ve got anything going my way in this category, currently.”
We Are Taught
If we do not fit current society’s
Models of perfect idealization
We should opt out of confidence
That our current state is worthy
Can I Ask You A Question?
My Love,
Do not disappear with the dawn
Instead, stay – stay with me here
Dear Friend,
“I remember.”
“After The Storm”
Trampoline Chicken
Wingin’ That Sh**
Who Are You? (Movie Clip: The Last Unicorn)
Movie: It’s A Wonderful Life, End Spoiler
Literally! (Fell On Black Days – Soundgarden)
Song repost from March 2022
Say 5 Times – Fast
“Special Expressions”
I Am
Managing.
(Telomeres – Sleep Token)
Dear Alex,
“I couldn’t stay there.
I just couldn’t do it, today.
The worst part is that this concussion has knocked me back hard.
I keep getting up, determined to keep rallying.
But my face and body are swollen as I sway blearily like a hard-core prize fighter getting dizzy.
There’s no clear sight…
Just instinct’s adjusting memory of where I need to be aiming.”
Glitching Out
After helping by giving numbers to everyone and then offering her chair, having it then used by another after that and standing out there in the cold shivering and watching her skin grow paler, she realized that she felt ill “holding the line” and returned to her car – looking for when she could retrieve her chair and exit.
Puffer Fish
“Dang-nab it!
The concussion has made my body swell, again!”
(Elysium – Gavin Greenaway, The Lyndhurst Orchestra & Lisa Gerrard – From Movie “Gladiator”)
Earth’s Magic
(So Into You – Atlanta Rhythm Section)
Movie Pick To See: Only You
Only You
She saw glimpses of them
Scanned their personalities
Looking for him cautiously
While holding her positions
And kept her distance while
They maneuvered activities
(By My Side – Massane & MAGNUS)
Wallflower Tango: Short Film
(Waking Up – MJ Cole & Freya Ridings)
More Than You Know…
(The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face – Roberta Flack)
Dear Alex,
I don’t need the Ideal
Just what can be real
Dear Friend,
What is it like from the other side?
I’m not sure that I’ve experienced it.
“Derezzed”
Metacognition
Modern Dating
(Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis)
(Pneuma – Tool)
(Come Sail Away – Styx)
Backed Into A Corner
“I was not responding well as of today from the concussion when getting other people’s help as they were pressuring.
I was either dealing with their trying to be time efficient and going in too many directions at once – spinning me in circles – and/or wasting my time, etc..”
The Question Is
“Can you self regulate?”
—
(Re the maelstrom that descends when engaging resource acquisition processes due to brain injury)
“There Can Be Only One”
“I now have two kinds of brain injury – and boy, let me tell you how fun this is navigating the shattered internal stratosphere!”
—
(Title reference to movie Highlander and the struggle to reclaim primary power)
Dear Friend,
It doesn’t seem right or valid
To need you at the levels I do
But maybe you need me, too
For similar bonding reasons
Candid Corvid Productions 