Category: Alex (An Ideal)

You did not give me the chance to show my true self to you, so I do so here for the rest of the world to see.

Maybe it is all of the hyped propaganda that lends itself to my being pursuaded to think that you would not value me.

Tell me something worthwhile in such moments of grief and loss.

Don’t fake it – make it meaningful.

Let your words take me someplace extraordinary.

She was naturally resistant and proud, as if putting her psychic foot down firmly would help to reestablish sense of any solid ground.

He picked her spirit up gently to stand in front of him, waiting patiently for her “spine” to lengthen and her “legs” to reactivate energetically.

“Get your day going,” he softly encouraged her – and her consciousness was pulled forward from the night’s deep dreaming into the day’s tasks awaiting.

There are different phases of yours that I like more than others, but what appeals most is your spirit’s integrity.

This does not mean that I see you as “perfect.”

Rather, that I know you are capable of correcting mistakes when you make them – and of holding to a course that is defined as your own.

Even if you fell from the world’s regard and became broken and penniless, I would value you.

For it is not the brief successes that we achieve, but the natures of our character and spirit that are everlasting and resilient.

May you always be brilliant.

Sense of you superimposes for ready access as patch kit if needed in case of system failure.

In your not being “known,” I can ascribe any attributes I desire to you.

But I will try to discern the truth as I do.

Our lives take us into extremes where others would fear to dare follow.

Yet you and I at times each desire to experience the more simple things that others seem to take for granted.

We must also make sure to “set aside time” for these experiences.

Who would you be if you partnered with me?

I’m a mess – I confess! – but still worthy.

It all makes sense to me now when I look at you.

The ideals I’ve striven for are within you, too.

What could we do if we joined together our purpose?

What great adventures and creations could spark?

They flock because you imbue.

What’s inside of you lives in me, too.

Engaging imagery
Inspiring allegience

Makes admiration
Value the essence:

I understand levels
You are striving for

But am not sure
For what purpose.

I dreamed that you were with me
And I was careful with my needs.

I tried to explain – to find words:
I value you beyond what is seen.

I see you there, also hidden behind facades others seek to project upon you.

I am glad that you have found someone to keep you company.

I fear that the more I continue developing my unique personality, the harder it will be for me to find a good partner because I am ever evolving and desire this mutually in relationship.

On the plane returning from my engagement’s tragedy, as I realized that I am a woman of the world instead of some shepherd’s sheeply waif, I asked for the universe to give me a man worth caring for. The dreams led me to you.

The other day, a client of mine shared what she had been reading about loneliness.

She said that an important component about making good connection with another person is having a sense of trust.

She shared that if connection was not initiated in a specific way, guarding reactions could come up, which could cause some “fighting” – a struggle for sense of safety.

You were right about “being friends first,” but how was that to happen with your silence and our distance?

The burden of initiation was left upon me, and I floundered by giving you so many types of information.

At least I was earnest, and I tried to be genuine. Yet, I know you must have felt overloaded by the data I was conveying.

I could say that I am sorry about that, but in truth, I had been given no better options.

Do you remember when I first wrote to you end of 2020? I was “on the mountain,” trying to reach for and free my wings to fly to you.

Then, I realized there was still much I had to do as I hit limitations of that situation. I had to release my family from our location’s bondage.

By combination of innovation and maximization of limited resources, my family broke free and made it to a better community. I worked to get my feet solidly under me so that we could secure our rights to stay as its new citizens.

With the new year of 2023, I next reclaimed my former powers of independent contracting and entered into a phase of healing myself from past emotional and physiological injuries. I have been making progress exponentially, although it seems too slow at times for me.

These phases have been mine to go through and I am sure that I have many more to experience. I am regaining my sense of confidence and competance as I carefully rebuild my own tiny empire.

And I miss you, even though I don’t really know you. How can it be that I feel we are kindred when we have never even once met officially?

There are so many things that I want to do, many of which I have noted on this site’s profile page. Creating my script would be the primary, but creating music and art pulls hard at me, too.

Having extra time on hand to invest in these activities seems hard to come by currently. I keep simplifying my life in an attempt to make room for them, but the truth is, my passion has flown to gardening.

To cultivate a small Eden’s sense of paradise has been soul soothing. I cannot express in words the happiness I feel when I experience our garden’s flowers blooming and get to eat the snow peas straight from their tendriling!

Yet, it doesn’t take much to suddenly flood my days around business building. Family needs and other responsibilities sashay forward insistently to take the leading roles on life’s stage.

When is there time for me and for what my own heart is wanting? I love being a mother and tending to my nestlings, and everything we are doing is much needed in future building.

Meanwhile, I have these cordoned-off zones in my being that I cannot seem to access currently. Their signs say “under new management,” “reconstruction in progress,” and some even read as pure blank “nothings.”

I have never before felt restricted in my powers and held back from my desire to achieve. Is this just a result of adrenal fatigue and its process of recovery?

Deep inside me somewhere, my spirit is fiercely struggling. Like a butterfly fighting to break free of its cocoon, my repeated effort’s gain has been making me stronger.

I know that it has been best that you have not directly helped me. I have needed to regain my self on my terms for my pride to display its teeth.

However, I do chafe at the patience needed. It is not easy having a driven soul held back by the process of its own humanity needing healing.

I know you have been searching and yearning like I have.

If you have found your one, I can only wish you happiness.

You’ve grown strong and powerful, and I can see the energy brimming from within you. Its manifesting potential is exciting to witness!

Would that it had been you, Alex – that we had had real connection, across time’s distance.

Observing how you have grown has inspired me to emerge into the light and claim my own throne.

You have traveled more than I across the world… Is there hope for humans’ and nature’s survival?

It is so amazing how we were brought together.

As you said at the time, “No one would believe it.”

Share with me your vision, and I will tell you if I can believe in and support it.

You see, I have been reaching for a vision, thinking along my travels that I would meet, co-inspire, and collaborate with others.

But, chance encounters have remained brief, and as many redefine their places in life, they prefer a dream to their own awakening.

I have watched you from afar as you grew from child to man. I have seen your awareness dawning as you strive to comprehend.

I love you more for this – for daring to take a stand while showing kindness and concern for all those placed within your competent hands.

Be careful, my friend, for there are those committed to destroying what is beautiful.