Category: Comedy
Hahaha!
“This next song gives so many options, but all I can think of is, ‘can we add lots and lots of sleep to the menu?
I mean, LOOOOOTTTTSSSS of sleep?’
Yes, please.”
—
(Ref to “Two Princes” by Spin Doctors)
“Tranked”
Highly-Digestible Rawhide
“I took a chance and got Hound and Wolf the large strips, again.
They gnawed on them for so long, and now are just lying on their sides, splayed out as if tranked – in a way I’ve never seen before.
I think that in the wild, a dog’s natural tendency is to gorge, be satiated into a stupor, and then to go hunt and repeat this cycle, again.
But having never seen this behavior in my girls, I worry about them!”
em!”
Washing Dishes
“I have no idea where most of my forks and spoons have gone off to – and, I have a ton of butter knives!”
So Get Ready, Beloved
“85% Quality Ingredients”
Does this mean that the rest of the cat food contents are really bad?
So True!
Heh…
HOT FLAAASSSHHHH!!!
(Caranguejo Estrela Brilhante – Cyro Baptista)
Givin’ us the eye…!
Cracking Myself Up, Literally
“When you’re attempting to move mountains, you’re going to fall into more valleys.”
(Regarding further financial destabilization)
Laughter In The Dark
“Who needs drugs when you can just see the humor in trauma – and laugh with the insanity loudly, right into the face of the maw?”
(Albeit it takes practice ;D)
Ha!
“Those old vampire stories propagated misinformation about women always gracefully conceeding to compulsion.
There’s a reason the vampires only went after younger ones!”
Once You Give Up Dating After 50
Mirth
“I ordered the extra textbook needed and got this message as emailed reply:
‘Thank you for your order. The items below have shipped. Your order may arrive in multiple packages.’
– ?!?!”
Plaaaannntts!
Trying To Clean While Listening To “Even In Arcadia” By Sleep Token
Ack! Cookies!
Left cooking too long in the oven past timer while distracted…definitrly overcooked, but maybe still edible.
Welcome to my world!
“What The Fu**!”
Approach Cautiously
Ok-Ok
“One reason I do not like marijuana is the fact that people smoke it openly.
So while I was out with my youngest at a Mother’s Day garden show, we ended up walking through a cloud of invisible smoke.
Soon after, my eyes swelled red and I could feel the effects spreading into my head, which got my mind dissociating.
After leaving there, we went elsewhere, and as I drove back from that there, my kid reminded me to remember to take us to pick up my car.
‘That’s headin’ where I am right now’ was my answer.
I was channeling an archaic form of the English language.”
Yeah…
“Wanna get me excited? Evolve.”
(LMAO)
LOL
“Putting on eye makeup, I see the damage that the neck injury is causing.
Yeah…
I feel ‘wrecked!'”
Eye Fry
“Trying to read new lyrics
But my eyeballs are on fire.”
Alarm Techno
“Frosty The Moon Man”
Epic Terminator Ending
Whispering In The House
Calming Tea
Tatooine Weather Forecast
Chirp!
Woo-Woop-Awoo!
(Bad Guy – Billie Eilish)
Go Cheffy Go!
Them: “You Can’t Dance To Sleep Token”
OMG – Nooooo!
“‘Seniors aged fifty-blah-blah-blah and higher…’ goes the commercial, showing ladies barely lifting their arms while doing slow dance moves in their gray-haired, osteoporosis late-staged retirement…
But, ‘I’m not dead, yet!'”
(Last quote is Monty Python)
I Have Something To Say!
Give A Dog A Bone
“Leave her tail alone!”
“Squirt-squirt!” goes the water-stream spray gun at our young tiger as he loves to pounce upon and chew our “poor baby girl,” barely tolerant hound’s tail as she whines at me – glancimg back at him – and tries desperately to not break sitting form while I am prepping to feed the two dogs.
(Title references “Knick Knack Paddy Whack” nursery rhyme)
Goth Bats
It Could Be This Simple
The Old “Windows” Version
The Slide
Straps?!
Sleep Token Homage
House Cat
GPS
The Darth Fader
A New Breed
Band Name Grouping
Candid Corvid Productions 