A Woman's Plight, Male Bonding

Lady Blue

She had spent the day rallying and cleaning, putting things in place a bit better as she had wanted to.

In the evening, like every evening, she subtly kept an eye out for him, trying to not feel like a fool – because what guarantee was there that he would appear?

And there was the balance of timing and not looking at every single person, because frankly, to do so would be exhausting.

A Woman's Plight, Male Bonding, Nature, Vampiric Tendencies, Where Demons Tread

In Her Defense

She had not realized until now that her prior freeze shut down had been her primal instinct’s self defensive checking to make sure that he was serious.

Of course, he had thought (possibly quite rightly from his point of view) that his mere sudden presence should have been enough evidence.

But he had not calculated into his equation the true depths that ran between them.

A Woman's Plight, Male Bonding

Love’s Relegation

Every man that she had cared for in this life had turned love’s promise into a tease, a taunt, and a game of withdrawal’s withholding – resulting in her vulnerability’s eventual abandonment.

Whether close in person or half of a world away, they worshipped the chasm of distance to keep from expressing and experiencing her love’s healing, magical, and reinvigorating art.

Oh, they said they wanted it – sure….

But this was just to keep her giving them good attention while they left her hanging.

The worst part of this was that her heart, mind, and soul had been openly honest – but then were starved and whipped into a frenzy while she kept holding space for them, extending kindness and patience.

Eventually, she had to learn to protect herself from further injury, since not one would actually step up to claim her love and care for her, in return.

She’d had to close each door and exert her own resistance through distance.

But living without love had never been a good reason for any season in her belief system.

It created the feeling of living in barren wastelands.

A Woman's Plight, Male Bonding

The Time Arrives

She was in a grocery isle, looking at garbage bags and cleaning supplies – of all things – and saw hum coming from her left.

Sunglasses still on to mitigate the bright overhead lights, she angled her stance more toward him and hazedly watched him approach, expecting him to turn and walk the other way.

But he kept coming, slowly, and was watching her carefully but directly.

Every step brought his visage more clearly into view as her mind scanned for attributes that would confirm his identity correctly.

Then he stopped right there, right next to her, not looking away – just as she held herself there, though swaying a bit from not automatically bolting away, herself.

He was ready?

They were ready.

To be real….

To figure out how to explain and discuss everything.

They were ready to face fears, together, with trembling relief.

—-

(This morning’s last dream before waking)