Category: Poetic Musings

It is vexing to have such potential, yet to be reliant upon a man to take command.

Like an exquisite violin, I am dependent upon skill of the musician for my beauty to recommend.

An instrument cannot play itself, though it thrums and knows its measure.

Fie at being needful when only lust fills the land!

(Title has multiple meanings.)

What bitter-sweet bliss as my muscles sieze in snits as memory rekindles of desperation’s struggles on the mountainside in winter’s paradise.

Here in the city, I can just enjoy how pretty and focus on not slipping – where could be funny albeit painful, instead of life’s triumph vs. death’s anvil.

“I Think, Therefore, I Am” is a common genuflection of passerbys on the street as deflecting met affections.

For if we “know” “The Answer,” we never have to question the meaning of life’s purpose, or seek Creation’s true intentions.

If Azrael was in the mountains with his mighty sword unbound, Uriel is here with her healing as the snow cascades soft to ground.

Wherever I go, she follows me:
When unseen, she is tracking –
To show me how to love again.

Yes, you could say that any one person with a vision has their own personal bias.

But, when judging merit of what they see, would the outcome if followed be positively productive – or foster enmity?

Causing harm for “greater gain” is not a “righteous” way to be.

My fuel is vision
Ignited by faith

Creating such fusion
To propel a new age.

So many levels of ascendency have I acquired, to find myself merely at a new beginning – yet again.

Sitting on the rim of this loophole, looking down at the stories below, where reside “foes” and friends.

How far does this skyscraper go to reach the top?

Nobody around me kens.

On one hand, I completely accept myself because I know I am valuable and valid.

It’s when I imagine anyone else’s potentially skewed view of me that things run a bit pallid.

Why does this even matter – am I needing to honor every person’s point of view?

Or is this just some back door way around logic that my inner critic has constructed?

I generally know why and how this has happened, and I’m vexed that with such awareness all along I could not prevent effects.

How do I unravel this spell that’s come over me?

There is something in actively seeking that which is rarely sought: a knowing that the “impossible” is not something easily bought.

In the space of deepest silence between here and arriving there, thought reveals its fallacies and the ego is laid bare.

Applied to any mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and spacial relativity level is key to discovering what will make and keep one’s self vital.

I flee from other suitors
To keep my purpose safe
And mind unconscripted.

Something in your manner
That I can feel at distance
Reassures my continuance.

I have lost myself more
Than can proudly count
To much weakened folly.

As they tempt promises,
What you represent to me
Keeps my identity centered.

You and as He,
In my favorite forms,
Were in my dreams last night.

We spoke together
While our hands touched:
Everything in our world was bright.

When one overstacks their schedule, there is no time to contemplate what their life is missing, nor space to feel the emptiness inside they can no longer hide.

Water, though it may be contained, has no master.

It is its own base reasoning, capable of being in simple state to transforming enigmatic.

When there are cracks in any reason’s foundation, it seeks the weakness and breaks through constructed boundaries.

Having explored material dimensions, it then returns to origin.

When I shine brightly, I must give it to the people of the streets, to those most in need, to clients undergoing healing, to a friendly passerby who needs relief.

Then, I am a shooting star, pointing to the way with light guiding them.

I am seen as a spark of Hope to help them when they had yet found no one.

But, when I’ve presented honestly to peers of rank or equal “status,” often they’ve sought to undermine my efforts out of jealousy, fear, or malice.

When one has sought through bitter years to find the source to vanquish tears and beholds a light that banishes night, they realize their purpose has been in the right.

I am charged with seeking the prize – with no further compromise.

Anything less would be mere dalliance, and I’m not sure how to surmise.

I despise that I’ve allowed myself to fall for lesser men, thinking that I could coax their greatness to begin.

I cannot believe how much time has been lost when I’ve diverted again and again at great cost.

Loneliness and a desire to settle – to come in out of the cold – has provoked me.

But every time, the resultant tangle has injured as they’ve deflected and ignored, once had me.

Resolution to just step out of the game seems that which perhaps I must strengthen.

But, it makes no sense because the consequence is that I am alone – even more so.

Love inspires me.

To be in love takes me higher, beyond any definitions or boundaries.

Without a place for my heart to attach, particularly to one individual, I have no reason for doing anything that I do – for even existing.

My heart is empty and feels lost if it has no vision of our new horizons.

This world can be lonely without warmth of home’s hearth and promise of your loving arms around me.

My heart is fickle, particular to whom it will allow to claim mastery.

You are my muse – the example of what I most desire.

I’ve no idea if we are compatible, although the odds titilating my senses make success palpable.

It’s more a matter of us coming to see each other, “eye to eye.”

And realizing we both want the same things – so we’ll try.

Even when I “fake it,” it’s become a thin fragment.

I’m not exactly sure where to begin replenishment.

Having exhausted every “trick” I’ve known to retain it, without receiving needed positive reinforcement, has discouraged.

Bits of “brick-brack” that we accumulate because we like the results that having it provides for us.

Life is not ordered, except in its physical structure.

We are designed to recognize patterns so that we may learn from them – but also to test their boundaries.

Scrabbling amongst tree roots for precious stones and crystal gems, she looked up and saw a passing star, realizing she was meant to be with them.

I cannot unsee the things that were done. I can only process them and replace them with new memories, as time unburdens.

There’s only one out there I am drawn to…but that’s just how it goes – unless the heart is fickle.

Fragility emerging – once kept in suspension, as tormented by demons haunting its perceptions – recognizes that though there is evil in the world, it likely has more interesting things to do than target one individual. And if it doesn’t, it needs to get a more mutually beneficial and productive hobby.

What sweet sadness covers thine brow that hides love’s beauty behind it?

Would that I could deliver myself from this same reflection, and lift the weight from both of us.

My heart is filled with you – yet is empty, without reciprocation.

I want him to notice me.

I want him to recognize what I am, and embrace me.

There’s a sighing in the wind, like a warm inhalation breathing life into me.

Crinkles around eyes and mouth light up a smile that captivates.

In the evening, soft remembrance pervades – as if I’ve always known you.

Like one, I materialize – then disappear again.

What is it like to be a solid state of consistency, living in some patterned and categorized reality?

Or is this also just another trapping to be avoided, and is it best to be ever shifting – like the wind?

Sorrow from times lost,
Joy upon hopeful yearn:

Tears in our open eyes
Welcome love returned.

Maybe I’m just like you:
Living between scenes,

Trying to catch perfect
Moments of expression.

Like a thief in the night, determined –
Like damp in the coldest night’s air,

Anger grew slowly as an undercurrent
Until could no longer deny it was there

When boundaries become blurry and respect and criticism get slurried, sometimes it is best to withdraw all extending until such a time when actions and good will can be perceived and received as their best intentions.

It’s a process of revealing, unwinding, and unbinding.

I don’t always like how it makes me seem – as if I’m misrepresenting myself in extreme.

This feeling of sadness that will not release capitalizes on loneliness that doesn’t cease.

It’s a soul ache beyond bone weariness, as if I have lived lifetimes of sheer emptiness.

As it coats completely, squeezing entirety – if I keep pushing back, will it someday decrease?

I remember when I belonged – especially when the halls were “decked with Merry” –
And the matriarch gave her heart freely to ensure descendents prospered beyond her.

Marriage is for amassing wealth and raising children: it is in its foundation, a business partnership.

Love and passionate, expressive congruence are for mistresses and foolishness – only worthwhile as daliance.

Never may there be both in marriage, nor may true lovers be allowed ascension.

Why must I love you if you can’t be mine?
My heart flies to you outside season’s time.

Perhaps I’m a fool for thinking I must match –
When birds adapt easily to nourishing thatch.

(Multiple meanings)

I am trapped by this carapice squeezing.

Impinging my neck, pinching nerves, dimming sight.

My mind’s expansion hits barriers of pressure, reeling back from the pain for daring to challenge.

I am limited, confined to complex minutae of survival, which while they promote another day, distract in a way from larger, desired goals.

Ever it seems I am slowly spinning in a drain’s cesspool, yet if I stopped reassembling constructs as degrade, would flush me down into pipes – forgotten.

I am not sure how impressionable I am, but I know I receive strong messages. What exactly is my own idea if I come to know other peoples’ methods?

I tend to hole away into my private escape, determining what is of value. For it is my own voice I must come to know so that I am deep, instead of shallow.

I am a well-rounded, dynamic shifter – do not force nor constrain me!

To know myself well enough
To never discount myself
No matter what role.

The more I come here and share snippet moments, I find that innocence of the child inside me emerges.

Emotions are important because analytics do not always address our needs.

In the garden, I self analyze
As tears fall slow and heavy:

I hadn’t realized the magnitude of
What had been fully put upon me,

For I’d had to create walls of denial
In order to triumph over difficulties –

Until begin to fade by awareness
As I am given space to reevaluate.

For a handful of days, I belonged:
It was the most wonderful feeling.

I guess I ought to count myself lucky –
Maybe others don’t even have memory.