Category: Poetic Musings

A great sorrow fell over the land as summer gave way to fall, which would soon give way to winter – wherein only the faintest memory of the years past holds out hope for a new spring to begin.

Is it negative self talk, or correct analysis of a situation, that tends one’s heart to feel it has no right to “further tresspass?”

My youngest’s response: “Perhaps it is believing one’s self is the problem, as opposed to the issue being from another’s difficulties.”

(Title collaborated)

“I think I need to stop – or my head’s gonna pop!”

There are those of us who do not conform, but invest in others to bring the light shining home.

Helping to propagate it grows the many branches of a strong and stable societal tree.

One kind gesture can fuel the branching out of our future’s many leaves.

Measured by clicks and variations.

How much do I have for reconstruction?

I must find my heart’s rhythm in every second passing.

Once we find reasons for not attending to our own needs, frustrations build to resentments that can turn into explosions from where we bleed.

I have worked to nurture every relationship
Seeking the level where they could accept,

But my youngest has been the first person
To reflect willing innovation in this respect:

Their succesful attempts at consistency
Are my first experiences of reciprocation.

We would joke my “flaw” was impudence –
But how else can one counter reticence?

Give me that sweet spot
Where I’m in my groove

Where I’m not confined
And able to freely move

Where I can expand my mind
Given any impassioned mood

Let me sway with the breeze
And be the wind that soothes.

They did not want to see me strong and brave:
A clear mind, heart, and voice were insolence.

When I focused upon kind generosity,
I was treated as less than a door mat.

Ahh, the single life
In “always do well”

No matter efforts
Still becomes hell

When partners lie
And children leave –

The first – of a farce;
The second: destiny.

Lacking the energy
To break myself out:

Turmoil’s hell – though
Things are going well.

A punctured hole
Lets oxygen enter,

But the dried membrane
Resists flex of my efforts.

If I sense a pattern which seems to repeat where before it did not resolve an issue, it seems prudent to try changing the pattern to nudge toward a better solution.

Is it someone to identify with
Who greets with warm smile?

Or someone who thinks differently
That makes easier many long miles?

I do not crave power nor recognition in the conventional sense, but crave justice and winning for truth’s pledge.

Love is the answer in all of my dreams, yet reality’s players twist lies obscene where avoidance diverts what hope could bring.

Some warriors fight to remain aware as we band in troupes to have a care.

Keeping watch as others fall to ground, we extend hands without a sound.

Why did they wish to support her?
What leverage would be gained?

Did they not know a wild spirit
Is never meant to be tamed?

On insurance to cover losses and health’s recovery.

On family to help troubleshoot regaining vehicle security.

On community for interactions that help rise above crisis.

I wanted to feel connected – but at what cost to my independence?

What worth then do I retain that is of my own consequence?

One has loose knees,
Another has seizures.

One cannot hear well,
Another’s sobrepesto.

Why should I want something it seems that I cannot have? Because within it calls to me.

I’m beginning to receive top rate care – yet still, I feel unhinged, agitated, and depressed.

Twenty-three and locked into a journey by a choice that silenced my voice, though I kept striving beyond restrictions.

Older now, at last allowed access to who I was before shutdown: something aching for profound transforming.

But a new set of dictates converges to charge – as if natural for me to march to such arbitrates!

Reflections in the mirror proclaim severe next level struggles to represent ideal integrities.

Who I was is returning, yet someone new is emerging.

It’s confusing when control teases as illusory!

Soft as a kiss
Hard as steel

Nothing compares
To creation’s reveal

A nod of the head
Compassion feels

Still looping regret
Invading my mind

Because I could not
Convey at the time

Well enough then
To convince you.

There is so much I must manage internally to avoid outward reactivity, that I marvel at others’ abilities to manifest externally.

I guess the trick is to gather momentum and to leap when wings unfurl again with ease.

Until then, I wrestle with overwhelming insecurity.

When we want something from someone, we must be careful to not become bound by their whims.

In earlier years, the world was huge, and I kept leaping to wrap my arms around it.

Now when I do, I get bounced back, where I enjoy the views in silence.

It’s best I don’t ask
Like How are you?

It’s best I don’t seek
Like partner status.

It’s best I only have
Occasional dreams

Where receive some
Friendly reassurance.

I’m a product of jangled components.

When I saw them hurtling toward me,
I had no option to maneuver away –
Thus turned to face the danger.

Where I was ending up
Did not spark creativity.

Bless-ed neutrality!

To be understood
And granted merit.

Where there’s jatter,
I veer away from it

To counteract
Nerve pinging.

I would like to learn techniques
So that my intuition can better
Demonstrate how I’m diverging.

I thought that
If I walked them

I would be satisfied –
Yet, I haven’t been.

I wanted it…

And because
I grasped for it,

It slipped from
My fingers.

I had found someone
With whom I might settle –

But “settling” would be
The “death” of me.

If I stopped seeking stars,
I’d find myself in love’s arms

But in reaching for heights
Solid ground’s behind me.

The name appeals to my instinctual tendencies as both Aquarian and Pisces being visionary and productively peace-loving.

You may tell me
It’s for the best:

I must concede
“Proof’s” behest –

But this doesn’t
Ease loss I feel

Or protect
Innocence.

I advance successfully in certain directions, granted access to diversified interactions.

But I struggle when there is not enough inspiratiom to surpass my limitations.

I present well on the outside –
Don’t we all have to for survival?
But inside is complete turmoil.

If I feel every doubt,
Every quivering nerve,
Am I living in the moment?

How intimately must I know
Every cellular response
Pinging insecurely?