Category: Poetic Musings

There is something about that
First sense of living’s potential

That lets bones settle into resting
Instead of feeling the wind rattle.

I walk alone with
Friends beside me.

Rather than arguing with others
About the way I genuinely feel,

I share my truth in a moment –
Then leave without a kneel.

Passion and desire for life
Must not be denied in self
Despite external rejection –

Therefore, apply this wisely
Toward nurturing abilities
You can share honestly.

She was wandering through the forest
Where the banished creatures played

When she saw an elegant monster  –
Grabbed his tail while he ran away

He led her along a path
Before he took his leave

Which would return her to the light
Though her memory to him cleaved.

If I am very curious about something,
My analyzing could seem as stalking –

But it is more like a wolf scenting
And round pacing for better view.

It was not safe to be myself,
So I still freeze instinctively –

Especially if my heart cares
And I am under observation.

The only way then I manifest
Is by continuing repositioning:

Does this mean that I am shy?
Or by necessity, very cautious?

I am honor bound.

In the things that I do,
I capture associations

Avoiding expectations
Because I am evolving:

It is much easier to shift if
I’m unburdened by structure,

Although if by my own rules,
I have no vouch by “authority.”

Drawn forward by a call
That my heart answered,

I find my position undefined
In a realm untraveled before.

I don’t like to be stuck in a web,
Even if caught by my curiosity.

Another loss
As didn’t grow

But left the self
To whither thin

Becomes more than
One’s heart can bear

After so much hope’s
Belief yields nothing.

I was in love with the myriad of little ways
That he exhibited his personal expression.

They say this isn’t love – just infatuated obsession,
But they do not know how to care by dimensions.

Billions of people are here on this world:
Some, caught in webs, waiting for release,

Others are like lone bright, shining stars
Held captive by their own imaginations.

Did she yearn for it?
Did she beg for it?

Did she work for it?
Did she sweat for it?

Down on her knees:
Did she break for it?

Investing her life –
Give her all to it?

The minutes click by
On a phone’s screen

Keeping me company
So that I don’t scream

And run yammering back
The way that I have come

Searching to return to
Where I’d once begun

For loss is not gain
After time invested

And pain is overrated
Though allowed reign.

My interests are bundled in little pockets within my mind, looking for opportunities to develop where I am not stuck in a bind.

Rest is what I need
With food to feed

My weary marrow
Soaking up sun

In a rocking chair
While dogs run.

Lure me with your charms
So that I become disarmed

As I fall into the dream where
Truth becomes obscene and

Promises turn to lies
Where compromise

The entire concept of
What love represents.

There he is,:
The apex of my desire for a man

There he was:
The man who rekindled my soul.

If only they could meet me in the middle,
I might experience at last my role.

I wanted to give my all
And so I extended

But seedlings of growth
Withered around me

Because there was
Little reception –

No earth for them
To root upon.

Experiencing healing occur
And moving on with my life.

They say if you feel comfortable,
Best to run the other way

But they are the thieves and liars
That trick us to not play.

Weren’t we both screaming
At injustices experienced?

Weren’t we both flawed,
Yet were giving our all?

Weren’t we both hurt
And thrown onto dirt?

But without an end,
You were my friend.

Love has guided me forward through every trial, searching for its nourishing care.

If what I wanted most
Was to make you happy

And you have found love
With another person, then

My devotion is not needed:
I’ll reconfigure my purpose.

My hope sparks others
That have not known
Where or how to begin

Though at times when
I note their happiness,
I face my own chagrin

For I can help the many
By helping just a few, but

For myself I have no answers –
Even the mirror reflects askew.

This is mine
Back off!
You’ve had yours
Stolen in bits and drabbles
Leaching my light
Professing honesty
By sheer presence
Mine
I will guard it
You can not have it
Don’t even think
To take it from me
I like where it’s going
I like where I’m going
So just step off
And let me be
Finally
I’m gonna be free!

This is one of my first posts in a private blog that J.T. helped me create over twelve years ago. His key unlocked the chains that had bound me to The Underground where I was hiding. His gift helped me spread my wings and learn how to fly again.

Thank you, my friend.

May we meet again.

Take me back to those times
When we walked in my mind

Together upon the ocean strands –
Anything I said, you’d understand

You exchanged our hope for distance,
Though I was bound by your resistance

Every sunset Venus spoke with me
Over waves reminding of mystery

As the moon in all of her phases
Shed light upon waves reflected

That somewhere you still existed
Even though behind closed door:

My brave, valiant man from Mars –
Heard from once, then never more.

Whispering thoughts as resting
Remind of times when growing

As children’s needs and flings
Brought love’s balm flowing

As another person cared
(Or at least pretended to)

Making the home hearth
Feel comforting warmth

Where affection was
Closer than memory.

She was forced to travel
On a Fallen Hero highway,

Misdirected by an onramp
And unable to find an exit.

Perhaps I am the seed
Which creates the pearl.

I should just let the tears come –
Let them cleanse what was done

But the power behind their passion
Worries me I might no longer resist

Succumbing to the depression
Which seems to be ever present.

The art of self expression distills into separate moments the feeling one conveys at a given time – yet does not necessarily preclude other awareness.

A bird does not seek artificiality, but gathers from nature around it all that it needs to flourish.

They shame us for wanting what is natural
So that in our need we accept the unnatural.

Different prospect,
Same experience.

The love was there
Hidden behind doors

Closed upon entering
Once lured by its song

Into chambers echoing
Its receeding melodies

Rescinded immediately
Without courtesy’s care.

According to the analysts,
What I had in my childhood
Is all I was going to receive.

“That’s it, man: that was your time” –
Which makes no sense in a life’s span
Of so many more years than beginning.

There has been a concept,
An impetus all consuming

Alone in my childhood room,
Out on the street with others

An unquenched starvation
Pounding on my very being

I have been told that it is all
Just figments of imagination –

Well, of course, it is true:
Dreams fuel our passions.

Love is my inspiration,
Complex as it seems:

It ever spurns me on to
Reach for finer things.

Under lock and key
With no master:

Kept safe.
Sacred.

It doesn’t really matter
If it ends with a clatter,

Or if feels a bit de-ranged
Like a boomerang’s claim,

Or if bursts like an explosion
After years of bin’s corosion:

All that matters is I cared
And you were there.

A swallowtail butterfly soar-fluttered outside my bedroom window, sunlight reflecting off from its gracefully-arced yellow.

And it hit my heart strongly that I have found a home when nature’s heralds come calling.

I will no longer seek it on the far horizon, nor search for it within the eyes of a lover’s smile.

Let it come to me without my efforts, if indeed it is something I may have for more than a while.

A transition that if managed can ease the sense of loss and hopeless despair, allowing space for rainbows as tears wash clean wounds to show that we still care.

Who am I?
I mean nothing to you!

Hair puffed wide and eyes wild,
I comb these halls, searching.

I know my being, my essence is tied to
Things greater than hypnosis’ reflections.

Get out of my way –
Let me out of here!

I must break the ties
Binding my reality.

In me, there is shifting self confidence:
I am not just a woman – but a warrior.

Do not expect me to have it all together:
If there is a cause, my passion feathers.

When I think of having a new relationship,
Is there room in physiological limitations?

I can barely pull myself together in any minute –
Let alone pretend within any barriers, restricted.