“What they say about this relationship seems like a lot of b.s. – especially as they say the dynamic is like two halves throwing a fit and always staying distant.
I think it might be more like two mirror images: each completing the other where it feels like there have been missing pieces.”
“The retraining went well – a whole new paradigm.
Big drive back to catch my classes…”
“You’re not in a rush; you’re eternal.”
“Part of healing retraining today has involved working on TMJ muscles and related energetic and myofascial tension associations.
I had not realized that my jaw held the intense grief from my fiance breaking up with me, and that this tension further suspended down through the front of my neck and into my sternum causing central diaghragmatic breath constriction.
The whole anteriority of external self expression if one were to authentically expel breath, cry, yell, protest, and/or scream at such a loss had been frozen.
I had just taken the blows and absorbed that energy because I knew that the situation was extreme – and I refused to add to the negativity that he’d experienced from others which had pushed him to his decision.
This suppression of my own tormented reactions also kept me from experiencing further humiliation because keeping myself composed prevented their projections from being validated as reality.
The remnants of this incredibly complex and intense situation have haunted and kept me cautious in being directly forward about my deep feelings for another man.
I think that the entire situation imparted a sense of shame upon me for having believed in my fiance, and for risking to try with him.”
Retraing/expanding in healing modalities.
“Being part of what I love, again.
For a moment, so darn happy…”
“Being here on this campus in this certain department with this group of people makes me ecstatically inwardly happy – as if I’ve always belonged here.”
“I get to hang with some of my favorite types of people, tomorrow!”
“I want this…this incredible love that I feel inside to have a place shared with another in his heart, and for him to receive this from me in my heart, as well.”
“Watching video clips of strong, mythical women – and then realizing, ‘so am I.'”
“A fresh, crispy towel that easily soaks up moisture with a nice bit of subtle, confidence-inducing scritchiness after a long, hot bath in opulent lavendar bubbles.”
“I flexed into my ribs for back, front, and sides all around with a softened smaller basket ball like we used to play ‘fodge’ to.
I lay upon it in yoga, stretch, etc., positions, gently rocking into it while attempting to correct the enforced upper stomach bulging still clamped from the accident.
I guess enough time since the accident has brought some settling in my system, allowing my efforts to at last bring results.
Because even though I can feel the torsion spasming trying to come back, I am able to briefly pull those upper ab muscles inward again!”
“The bone broth I made today was a yummy success!”
“It is healing, though still tender and tenuous.”
“Received praise from a peer yesterday, meaning that she sees me as a good investment.
Made me laugh – alot – and actually was a key mantra phrase that began connecting my gaps that did not know what concept to latch onto for beginning deeper healing.”
Signs that I recognize
Lead to the way out
Paving paths familiar
Reinforcing direction
But because I have known them
I worry that I’m going in circles
Finding myself
Losing myself
Over and over again
But never achieving
What my heart’s
Always desired
Help me break
This re-cycling
Of a faded paradox
Ever encapsulating
Both of us hanging
By thinning threads
Destined for
Reclamation
“I will be speaking soon with a specialist to see what I can supplement my diet with, though I do not expect to make major changes at this point of restabilizing.”
“It is satisfying to feel my muscle strength and form returning along lines that I’ve been re-conjuring.”
“When I lift anything with noticeable weight, this hyper-compresses hip joints where flex got blown out by the car’s impact.
I’m hoping to regain flex by training with a rebounder.
I anticipate many setbacks, but hopefully will ultimately triumph.”
Funeral pyre to a winged catalyst
Mating’s rebirth by ritual aspects
Eclipse once viewed as an omen
Transforms into balanced union
Sacred flames protecting emergence
Couple’s future in bright adornment
I’m the type to be all-in
When stakes are high
And they say it
Can’t be done
I just need a
Place to begin
And worthy prize
Worth championing
As two become as one
Love’s blessings begin
That’s not to say
Life will be easy
In fact, sometimes
It gets even harder
To the point where the pair
Might doubt bond’s sanctity
I don’t know what to advise
Except stay on the same side
And you will come through any
Challenges with love beside you
Gears designed
Define purpose
By rewinding
Time ending
Linear effigy
Dismantles
Freeing Man
And Woman
Cupping can actually
Create abrassions in
The form of temporary
Red rashes like rosacea
Especially on the face that
Can say, “You what mate?”
And in a case with injuries
Muscle release destabilizes
Attempting to smooth out
And reconnect micro-fascia
Candid Corvid Productions 