Category: Stream of Thought

I dislike the chaotic mess in my kitchen, but if I attend to it, I won’t get to my coursework.

Jason’s brand coconut flavored toothpaste was my last holdimg ground of gentle mint hint, sparing my gums from burning infernalism.

I guess they also capitulated to market “demand” of monoculturized mint FRY.

(My gums sobbing in the background)

When one buys something, the resells it in order to be able to buy something else.

As I dug around in the drawer upon looking at the pile of dirty dishes awaiting my attention, I found one waiting within there clean to send me on my way.

Why is it that when something is in the eye, after rinsing it, it feels like now there is more gunk in the eye?

“Happy Birthday lonely soul! We’ve heard you are doing nothing to change this!”

Crisp-edged apple-cheese pancakes.

So good, you better believe it!

(Contrary to perfect fantasy, the making of which will likely occur in the next two weeks, as my schedule in already too overloaded!)

Instead of a cock-a-too, she’s a whack-a-tail.

Expressing with tails is a hound’s pack greeting!

Money comes then goes.

How do we process to completion the charge of unresolved feelings and emotions without imposing them upon one another?

Some things are more important than the cheapest deals.

I do not want to date in my town.

I would much rather societal funds assist me, for I continue to invest in society.

I was offered a loan to finish my Bachelor’s degree. But then, it was rescinded because I refused to let the lenders conscript me.

It makes me mad that the accident has pushed me back into feeling like I belong in this category.

Being shown time and again the type of man who is not good for me.

It took a lot to drive her to this point
So she got out of the car.

What I want and
What I’m willing to do for it
Are no longer the same.

“Escape is not [her] plan…” – Darth Vader.

The men I have met are to some extent more hedonist than earnest, and lax in their efforts.

Being down in the ditch and kicking at cans of lost dreams and once-felt healthy vitality strips away ability to maintain refinery, leaving one embittered and cussing.

What was supposed to be a simple procedure brought to awareness that her system had been fighting something for as long as she could remember.

It had tapped into and combined with her matrix of desires, exacerbating the longterm torment of what she could never seem to find – yet had lost.

I do not mind being there for a partner when they are going through hard times.

But they have got to fight to be there for their own self.

And they have got to fight for me.

I dislike the power that certain sets of circumstances leverage which pressures consciousness to process perceptions negatively.

It’s one thing to agree on a decision together.

It is quite another to have one unwanted and disagreed with insisted upon.

And then, finally, to realize that maybe it is for the better that things ended after that long pause.

Because he wasn’t a good match for you anyway, girlfriend.

He would have been too entitled and inattentive – no matter how much you gave your all.

Some things should not be tended to as much, whereas other things are left without needed nourishment.

A new phenomenon has been occurring.

After I have looked at a younger man while asking for help in a business or navigating through my classes, they soon seek out their partner, as if to show me that they are taken.

Cause and effect could be coincidence, yet they seem directed toward my acknowledgment.

Which seems to me hilarious because youth in my book is becoming overrated!

Perhaps it is my no b.s. attitude which makes them feel a bit prey to predator.

Or maybe this is the season where new couples connect more in public.

A double blended, half-caffeine Pink Drink (TM) and a double side order of Subway meatballs.

Does detailing only part of a car count for a day’s good efforts?

I guess for now, these are the limits.

Although, when examined closely, “either” implies “one” or “the other” – whereas “or” could imply “something yet unseen and of even greater potential.”

It is a blessing to be able to sit in front of a flickering fire as the gas range blows heat upon my shivering toes and limbs, infusing warmth where the winter sun cannot even begin.

I am beginning to wonder how much my physical injuries have always affected the confidence of my nature, causing me to be cautious.

Since I was born, I have been injured.

Pulled out backwards too hard and then not too long after, sent head-first into brake pedals.

These two incidents alone would set a mark on a child’s development.

Then, later ensuing invasions of mind, body, heart, and spirit before the age of ten…

No wonder it has felt like I have been in a war-torn nightmare version of life’s mimicry.

No wonder I have reached out to help others with potential who have been on the brink of falling, because I understand the pressures that work upon a person’s soul.

And it is difficult for me to have to curb this instinct for advocating.

Coiled into myself while sitting with legs propped for a moment before I extend limbs and will to shampoo three vehicles against limitations and warnimg twinges of my latest injuries, I cynically laugh at the dream I woke from this morning.

I had been coordinating with other healers to have a center with therapy rooms attached so that when I could resume, I would no longer feel so alone in providing.

The people I had asked had agreed about the desire to feel connected, yet as the dream faded, I realized that the way things are going, my return to that line of work is not possible within this next year’s planning.

The fact that some people “reel others in” under the pretense of wanting close bomding – only to then push against the love they claimed to value in order to “fit in” with their society – is alarming and a huge part of the reason that our family units are fragmenting.

Turned out to be a farced request
As truth revealed injury in motive

As everything desired to overcome
Was embraced to blockade passion.

We all have our own versions of freedom.

Music

Bachelors

Transformation

It feels like I’ve got 2% of me
Left that is capable of thriving

If a partner added their own 2%,
Together this would be doubled –

Which in love’s realm multiplies,
Building on energy exponentially.

But until capability is met equally
I cannot afford further distractions.

One might not think that an end can be a new beginning, but when one heart has remained by subconscious default somehiw still waiting, it can be good to finally infuse awareness and know that it is time to close a once valued, open door.

We have come far by putting one foot in front of the other, and strategizing against the odds.

I must allow myself to wait on answers,
For I’m not ready to address these tests

Which loom by soon-revealed scans and
An answer from one, delayed by surgery.