Category: The Shower Accident 11/14/25

She had not done her usual workout routine yesterday, so now came the migraine torsion.

Her frame, planking, beams, and knees creaked and ached like timbers of a ship as she groaned, trying without success to take a small nap.

As she took a drink of water in the gray and spilled some down her shirt.

Time for bed, again, as circulation quivered.

Could fasting and giving blood for labs days ago still be the cause of this imbalance?

No, No, No!

She had worked to get this far today – and now needed to make progress!

Was it her brain?

Her muscles?

Her heart?

What was going on?!

She could feel how weak her structural stability was.

Did this mean that systems were coming back online?

Was it yet safe to start adding other exercises to rebuild the muscles?

Was there enough reactivated core matrices for them to build upon?

“These accidents have taken away my ability to do anything!”

(In her mind throwing objects at walls, doors, and windows while screamimg hellfire at them to break them down.)

“Even if I can only do one or two things per day to advance my regaining stability, this is still valuable.”

“I haven’t been able to do most of my shoulder and hip restabilizing exercises since the concussion because when I try, doing them increases since then strained cephalic pressure.”

There were things that she needed to do, but all of them were draining.

She thought that she was getting up…but then, she wasn’t.

Much like the prow of her ship from past collisions, her hip and shoulder were twisted from recent effort to swab the deck.

She couldn’t tell if it was from circumstances, or physical injury.

Keep stitching torn sails, work to repair rigging, and pray for reinforcements.

The concussion scenario being a dead end recipe for complete disempowerment, she just kept trying to do whatever she could try to do, despite it – peppered with moments of stopping for breaks to try to rest.

“One could think that being told one must rest for recovery would be liberating.

But it isn’t – no, not one bit – not one bit at all when one’s boat is sinking.”

“A doctor’s assistant doing initial intake before I saw my primary recently listened to how I’d discovered that my workouts had actually been gaining ground in restabilizing my spine – and then how devastated I was to have that progress disrupted and basically wrenched from my hands from the concussive fall.

Whereupon, I was surprised and encouraged when she reflected my prior once faith back to me by saying assuredly, ‘But you can get that back…'”

“That the orthopedic doctor actually said, ‘What good would an MRI do?’ – and he’s a surgical specialist!”

“Quite twitchy.”

“There’s this feeling that I can’t place, like being body-slammed or hit in the face – felt since hearing that the only recovery path for my concussion is rest minus brain use activities when survival requires opposite.”

“Pick A Subject…”

Narrowed fields of vision
Along gaptic crossways

Make it near unfathomable to
Work several projects linearly

“I got a deep hip adjustment when I extended my leg out for a stretch while on my back.

Maybe I’m closer to some better tracking!”

“I’ve hurt myself from today’s workout.

I can barely do anything, now, without reinjury!”

Another aspect of injury is that
My body tires quickly standing

Impact damage
Downgradation

Makes me want to
Scream in rebellion

I have three brain injuries now
Original, new, and combined

Did I say this?
Have I said this?

The walls are thicker
Behind closing doors

After the concussion
My arms became weak

My hands and face had
Increased numb patterns

Body and limb discoordination
Was knocked back into tailspin

Neck instability meant any movement
Upon elliptical pulled on brain injury

So now I do even less at the gym
To allow myself to try to catch up

I need to get back into
Previous yoga-pilates

But it was not safe to
After the car accident

So it’s hard to believe
Strength will recover

Although time’s passing
Says to do now not later

As my body resettling
Moves to new “normal”

It brings to the surface
Support tissue atrophy

When lying upon a shoulder
Things sink where shouldn’t

Causing destabilizing strains
To bone attachment structure

Going into third year of recovery’s
Recurring negative enforcements

—

(Title of multiple meanimgs)

“We are pretty dissatisfied in this current predicament.”

When my grandparents finally rested,
They either gave up & chose to die or
Stayed in bed for the rest of their lives

Being unable to work
Dependent on systems

Has very much sucked as
I prefer self determination

I’ve got nothing to strive for
No more umph in my motor

I always had manifestation
As my high-driving priority

Even if I had to wait
I knew it was there

I could feel it’s pressence
Just like I feel you, my love

It’s very discouraging after all of that
To find myself flat-stopped, diverted

No more climbing
No more aspiring

Because I’m just
So damn hurting

Nothing seems attainable anymore
It’s just slipping through my fingers