When it comes to war, it is best to target the true source of evil, rather than innocence.
Too Many Paw-ns
The reason I dislike the game of Chess is that the goal is to achieve absolute slaughter.
Counter Attack
As they say, “fight fire with fire,” fight Man with Man.
Vengeance (Will Be Mine)
The scent of blood was thick in the air.
But it wasn’t the blood of an honest kill to keep a starving pack’s generations thriving.
It was the smell of a gunshot wound made at distance by cowardice, painfully festering.
Normally, she respected other predators, but those who hurt her had to be stopped.
Her wound kept seaping – wouldn’t heal with bullet still imbedded deep into flesh.
Metal poisoning was invading her system, forcing attention to keep fighting madness.
She knew who they were now, and knew how they could also be hunted – destroyed.
Her life and pack’s survival now at risk, her snarl grinned anticipating their fragile skin.
(Superior Mirage – Metz)
The Universe Throwing Me Another Challenge…
Eye Tracking
This is part of the tangled brain’s system.
Difficulty is ikely due to nerve compression.
This makes it hard to navigate career retraining data collection / interpretation.
Doing the work, itself, is not the problrm.
And yet, the extreme vexation from visual overload and brain mis-signaling is vexing.
Which burns limited tolerance capacities.
Retraining Micro Tissues
As no therapy yet has addressed the overstretched support tissues surrounding my nerves and I am still denied boon of receiving help from neurology specialists, I have embarked upon my own form of torture therapy.
I have cushioned, rubber flip flops that are firm enough in the surface area of my thongs to rock my imbalance all over the place, causing my limb and torso muscles to shake and wuiver and my vertigo to swing extreme range.
Well…
Even though this alarmingly increases nerve compression and resultant referential numbness spreading, what else can I do while waiting and deadlines keep crushing?
Trying Times
My new belt split at its highest use point, tearing off the flange most needed.
Dear Alex,
I can’t play the role you need, but I love you unequivocably.
Swing To The Moon – ESMA 2022
Sometimes We Deal With Problems That Don’t Exist
Anytime I Need To Make A Hard Decision
Magic Wood Creations
The Funniest Wolf Howls Are Lazy Ones
A Howl To My Second
“We must take to the Higher Ground Together, my very brave and valid pack leader in training!”
Higher Ground
Though I climbed to higher ground to escape man’s latest machinations, my second-in-command paced to find me.
Rather than greetimg me with wagging tail and renewed faith from my recent proven accomplishments, for a second time since the herd left I found myself backed up against a boulder defending myself under attack, pressed by fear in lost pack security.
As I self defended, I countered in every way my exhausted brain could think to dodge the blows against my reason, but youth’s unrelenting desperation kept hitting me in waves and my wearied mind took damage.
In last attempt to keep from harming them from my own fear’s reactivity and hurt rage at being turned against, I disengaged and slipped past them – and kept running to stay out of reach while as I distanced it hurt my soul to hear their howls of frustration.
I am accused now of abandoning my pack’s needs. I am accused of negligent leadership – as if I have not been right here protecting them and foraging resources for continued survival despite my untended injuries.
My heart feels outcast from my clan again, and it grieves me that youth is so inclined to turn against wiser elders during difficulties.
Man has been efficient in cutting families off from loving cohesion, ensuring our tribes remain divided and weakened in numbers.
At first, they murdered us out of fear and in the name of their progress. Now they starve us due to pure greed and intolerance – for anything Wild, Man must be sure to destroy.
Is it a type of afflicted illness?
For surely Man is insane.
Yet it is up to us to rally against this madness to find our peace again.
The Rift
The leader’s second in command turned on her. “I need to lead, break out on my own. The events now occurring should be better under your control. Forget that you are a wolf and become human. For the pack, you must forget your rank and name. It is your fault that our game has been driven away.”
“Petal Pavement”

(My Baby – Pretenders)
“Fire And Rain”

Crimped
But not built to quit.
Brain Trauma
It’s actually quite funny how everyone keeps expecting that I can still do everything.
Even I still keep pushing to make “the impossible” happen.
(Broken Down – Sevendust)
Dear Alex,
If you knew…if you knew the hell I am going through…well then we would likely take a moment to honor it – and then probably laugh and say “Even so, it could be worse!”
Differences Make You Powerful
Maniacal Cackling
“533 holds a message of growth and transformation. The angels are urging you to let go of any fears or doubts that are holding you back and embrace the changes that are happening in your life.”
Infighting
That’s how they do it.
The negative suppressive-oppressive powers of Man rip apart our cohesion by driving away the game.
So our packs separate into factions pressured by fear of hunger.
And turn upon each other.
Word of the Day: Reason
“There is a close connection between reason and emotion.”
Oxford dictionary
Lapse Of Reason
It had felt good to feel her strength as she went after the underlings who had stepped out of bounds, not thinking in their excitement and over-anticipating.
Yet, she didn’t know how to reconcile the need to feel that rush of power through her limbs and the deep remorse of having frightened and confused relationships.
“Blue Jean”

Profile Of A Cur
A self-acclaimed protective-defensive “tyrant” asserting pack adherence to her dominance in reaction to lack of control over extreme external circumstances and incensed anger over “alpha” males always choosing some simpering sheila.
“Coming In To Land”

“Futuristic”

“Umber Sky”

“Absract”

“Smelting”

Gritting Teeth
I want my independence back.
(Eyes Closed – Imagine Dtagons)
Fear Of Loss
I am afraid to plant seeds in the ground.
(Enemy – Imagine Dragons & J.I.D.)
Farther Away, Yet Closer
“I generally do not like traveling across swampy midlands, as there is no safe place to rest when tired from flying.”
Wan
I have moved into wearing eye shadow because I can no longer stand to see the color drained out from my complexion.
Photography
I am happy with the moments
I have been honored to capture
Inspired by colored light’s sound
Beckoning attention’s turn around.
Nerve Damage
Somewhere inside I’m crying:
I can feel far off wailing keen
For try as I might toward recovery
Progress delays by still yet unseen.
Habibi
I am no longer sure what was true between us, but the outcome damaged confidence.
Self Representation
I will likely just handle arbitration without a lawyer.
I have done it before and I am not asking for much.
Just what I am rightfully due.
Just what is Just.
(Help Me Lose My Mind – Disclosure)
Dear Alex,
It seems clear now that I was sent to you to be a catalyst.
Part of the prompting system – if not the carrot, then the prod for you to make a certain decision.
I hate being used in such capacity.
No matter how I wrestle with it, it always cuts deeply because I lost.
Fresh wounding, always repeating.
There seems to be no balm to soothe.
I hate that.
Dear Alex,
I could not risk further diminishing myself in order to be with you. It seems to have been the cost for my being in a relationship.
