As yet, there is just no way to stop nor counter the countless miniscule tremors and sudden redirection diversions within my muscular synapses – which makes doing anything quickly or smoothly a bumbling and frustrating venture!
Casting About
As yet, I have no solid idea of how I may reenter the workforce at at least comparable rate of pay to that which I worked hard to earn before the accident.
“Reacting To ‘Safety Policies'” (Spoken Word)
(Lose Yourself – Eminem)
Keening
I feel it and sense that part of me, gibbering and wailing in my mind at how the accident has bumped me into the ranks of disability.
Dear Alex,
If you knew me, perhaps admiration would emerge – and a recognition of how in some essential ways, we are indeed kindred.
Slippage
I projected the patterns and recognized this zone I am now navigating could be problematic – but the injuries make it harder to weather.
Mature And Sassy
As I walk down the hall to bed, carrying a rare 2:30 am snack of spaghetti and the dogs come join me as I’m calling them, I think to myself that I am entering a new life stage cliche.
And in just a few days, I will turn fifty-three.
Sailors’ Credo
Throw the baggage overboard when your boat takes on water, and only count the costs when you reach dry land again.
Transition
I wonder who I could have been, but try to focus on who I will become.
Self Empowerment
The difference between now and then is that I have gained the status of maturity, and I have cultivated knowledge and abilities to self advocate.
Additionally, I have moved away from those toxic situations.
Lag
It occurs to me as I move through this latest phase of having been injured that those many times that I was picked on as a child and called “stupid,” or accused of ignoring subject matter, or not responding quick enough to people’s demands – just not immediately gyrating to their puppetry – was because of multiple bouts of experienced head trauma.
But I was inside here all the while, observing, thinking…
And not allowed any room nor encouragement for reemergence.
Sometimes, I wanted to scream.
Other times, I would just lapse into despondent, drawn out silence.
But always, I was just waiting…
Waiting for my time.
Waiting for safety.
“Beyond Limits”
Zoom center up to see the lone navigator!
Comvolutions
If the rodents are to be live-caught for relocation, first there must be a larger cage available with a mesh lid and bedding waiting, and then each garage storage container must be emptied to ensure that no babies will be left behind without care of their parent(s).
“My Little Poser”
Heading toward the school parking lot, I caught a glimpse of this cutie and thought, “Hey, I want to seeyou!”
To my surprised delight, the fun-lovin’ sweetheart stopped and let me capture some photos!
(Leave It – Yes)
“Eyes”
Sharing The Land
“Today’s Tea Leaf”
Horse Husband
(Sail Away – Mome ft Ricky Ducati)
“Haunted” – Movie Solaris
3 Squirrel Rescue
The First Heartbest Inside An Egg
“Winter Glow”
“Garden Tree Singer”
Pacific Tree Frog.
“Lady Of The Water”
Zoom in…
(Federkleid – FAUN)
YAAASSS!
The Proven Warrior [29]
Hyde’s Bride: Earned Pride
Battle scars and injury in today’s society are seen as percentages decreasing the worth of an individual, rather than proofs dictating bestowments of honor the valiant deserve.
Hyde’s Bride: Course Corrections
“Wherever I go, whenever I can, if I see something wrong or make a mistake, I try to contribute an inclusive, kind word of understanding or go out of my way to make ammends.
I may have been born into an imbalanced society, but its trends will not dictate my actions, nor cause me to condescend.”
One Notch
Abdominal inflammation now beginning to shift, it seems I have decreased in belt size.
Hyde’s Bride: The Casual Glance
Noting upon her demeaner that no man could easily fool her, of means suitors avoided her, seeking easier prey.
Hyde’s Bride: Hell’s Chalice
What had begun as youth’s indoctrination became, over time, insanity’s proclamations.
Hyde’s Bride: Trust’s Folly
“I have attempted to live a virtuous life in hopes I could avoid the mistakes of those who’ve gone before.
But as it is with The Commons, others’ participation in upholding The Contract is required – or else we all fall, once more.”
“To A Mouse” By Robert Burns, 1785
On Turning her up in her Nest, with the Plough, November 1785.
Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickerin brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!
I’m truly sorry Man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle,
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An’ fellow-mortal!
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave
’S a sma’ request:
I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,
An’ never miss ’t!
Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It’s silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!
An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,
O’ foggage green!
An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin,
Baith snell an’ keen!
Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ waste,
An’ weary Winter comin fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro’ thy cell.
That wee-bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the Winter’s sleety dribble,
An’ cranreuch cauld!
But Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!
Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43816/to-a-mouse-56d222ab36e33
Hyde’s Bride: A Man With A Plan
“‘The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men’ had not considered a woman capable of thinking outside of the box – let alone, leaving the maze entirely.
(Quote by Robert Burns, “To A Mouse” 1785)
Hyde’s Bride: Inadvertent Epiphany
Whilst she had asked him to denounce his mistress (and soon after learned of the curse cast upon her by the poacher), she later realized that she had obtained an unintended revenge by the woman’s having chosen to return to the liquor-soaked brothels.
“One Day”
This was a combination of my own recorded drum and keyboard tracks, along with a pre-recorded drum track and an Iconapop song bit. Then, I added several fun effects!
Hyde’s Bride: Age Before Beauty (Spoken Word)
“There’s also a reason they say, ‘Age Before Beauty,’ for beauty is fleeting and will be reaped as if it is a mere few crops of the seasons.
Age before beauty.
Maturity before beauty.
Accomplishments before the fluff – before the cream which can just easily be whisked away.
Add a little sugar on it and it’s quickly eaten.
Gone.
Ravished by what brief grace of space and time it was granted.
Age is what grows.
Age is what delays.
Age is what stretches out time when our life is so fleeting.”
Tangental Thinking
The psychological evaluator suggested after four hours of testing that perhaps, as apparently many females in our society, I had gone through life undiagnosed with ADHD.
I pose an alternative theory: that the mind learns to diverge around repeated traumatic physical and mental-emotional injury for survival of its host body, and alternative preservation of its soul’s integrity.
“Anodize”
Using a Lexicon for the vocal effects, I created the other tracks with further effects as counterpoint in this short play with a live performance concept.
“Interstellar”
I was given musical tracks to select from and told to make them sound good by composition and effects.
I modified the grouping I chose into this!
Radio Theatre – “No Escape From Reality”
This is a mix of several song tracks, along with my voice and effects.
It was my first project, and I had to innovate by capturing my own vocal recordings before I had any sort of home access to advanced software.
I began by plotting it with a simple edited Audacity file and a spreadsheet!
Please be careful while listening, as the volume increases…
I still have much to learn!
Mixed Messages
The accident made it impossible to continue im my healing career (at least temporarily) and forced my hand in reaching for my next level of ascension.
But there has been great cost to my body’s well being in pain and damage, which leaves me feelimg as if I have been back-handed and reprimanded.
(Just The Two Of Us – Grover Washington Jr.)
Fox In The Wind
Movie “Somewhere In Time” – Elise’s Play Scene
Sometimes I Feel
Moments of “better.”
Dragon Flight: Elden Parable [6]
And when God came to speak with her as showed her two sets of footsteps through her life when God walked beside her, and then only the one set alone at times, she turned to God in astonished acknowledgement as she pointed to them and God nodded pleased encouragement – “Those are the times that I flew!”
Candid Corvid Productions 