Of The Self
Too aware, and yet
Not aware enough.
Helen Keller Speech, Reenactment
Movie Pick: The Miracle Worker (1979)
Dance With Me – 112
Boogie!
The “Little” Things
I am not homeless, and I am still semi-functional.
Chameleon
I had thought that I was reclusive by nature.
Turns out it is more of an effect from feeling in an unsafe environment or if I am injured.
In these respects, perhaps I am “normal.”
(No Rain – Blind Melon)
(Beverly Hills – Weezer)
(Lord Is It Mine? – Supertramp)
The Fear Factor
I present well on the outside –
Don’t we all have to for survival?
But inside is complete turmoil.
“Learning By Doing”
The healer gets new lessons…
2 Weeks Later
Pain and weakness referral into my outer diguts now, huh?
Ok…
This is going to be “fun.”
(Insomnia – Faithless & Ayden Loyde)
A Young Woman Tries Speed Dating To Find The Man Of Her Dreams
Keanu Reeves Forgot To Turn Off The Iron In The House
YEEEESSS – “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”
Beyond What’s Known
Certain dreams are not “practical,” yet are still what I want.
Superman 1978 – Flying With Lois
“A friend from another star….”
Shades Of Rue
To this day, it still hurts my feelings – because if we were not meant to be together in some fashion, I should not have been sent to him
Of Dogs And Cooking
It took me being back home with my mom and her huge hounds to give a starting reboot to my prior associations.
Asperger’s?
It turns out that most of the guys she’d been attracted to had some variant of high-functioning Autism.
Yet, they had each been beautifully and physically coordinated with genius-level scientific and/or artistic external expressionism.
Teetering On The 10:55
“It is a divine message from the angelic realm that means you are in perfect balance between your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. It is a sign of success and that guidance is available to you if needed.”
(“Joyful dumplings?!”)
(Cupid – Fifty Fifty ft. Sabrina Carpenter)
Definition Of Bearing(s)
A person’s way of standing or moving. Relation; relevance. (Oxford dictionary)
And,
Bearings are “parts that assist objects’ rotation”. They support the shaft that rotates inside the machinery. Machines that use bearings include automobiles, airplanes, electric generators, [human spines – LOL], and so on.

Lost Bearings
Effects from the accident have disrupted my ability to physically perform my therapies.
(Title play with words)
Starseed Chronicles: Origins
The male physical therapy specialist told me in a dream, “A complex molecular matrix that makes up stars…this is where you come from, Athena.”
“Message received.”
(What do I do with this info?)
Fragility
What is this purpose
Of human conditions?
Moving Through Time
If I feel every doubt,
Every quivering nerve,
Am I living in the moment?
How intimately must I know
Every cellular response
Pinging insecurely?
Movie Count Of Monte Cristo Birthday Toast
Diversion
The amount of work it takes to stop and repair financial and physical damage from an accident conscripts time and energy.
“Plantling”

A Careful Rebuild
I must recreate a foundational matrix which is strong, yet flexible.
Hunger
Starvation for a love hidden beyond any reason can make a woman turn inward upon herself and no longer trust her ability to discern truth from fantasy.
The more she examined this phenomenon, the more she was not sure that any future relationship would be healthy for her.
For all that she had encountered in male partnership so far had been direct or indirect thievery.
Crimped
She knew that the love between them was there, but it had gone to ground and was hidden in his soul’s waters, barred to her access.
It wasn’t her fault, though she was prevented from mingling with them because he needed to protect his own identity.
Fragility makes a man want to close up and ward off any offers of trustworthy intimacy.
And because she knew this about his “condition,” shr felt bound to stay by his side, rather than leave and abandon him.
She didn’t realize that he was afraid of the strength of her spirit; by the conviction of her advocacy; and by the power of the love that she had for him and tried to show him.
A type of sinister corruption of similar powers had already been directed at him in childhood – and had nearly destroyed him.
The call of her heart and light of her vision were simply greater than he felt comfortable with.
But what he could offer was sardonic, joking, and critical cynicism – which was funny, but did not enhance her confidence in her abilities, nor make her feel loved and supported.
Nor wanted.
Nor cherished.
In fact, it had the inadvertent effect, as if a poison.
And her growth became contorted and convoluted.
My Core Passion Profile
Inspiration:
Master of Inspiration
Light to the World
Visionary
Recognition:
Leader
Warrior
Adventurer
Mastership:
Master Builder
Master Architect
Visionary
Partnership:
Peacemaker
Partner
Diplomat
Compassion:
Teacher of Teachers
Master of Compassion
Master of Healing

(www.corepassion.com)
(Respect- Faserklang & Frank Hellmond – Matthias Springer Remix)
Wildly Dreaming
Judgments
Supporting
Restriction
Compete
For our
Attention.
(Should Be Higher – Depeche Mode Live)
Last Week’s Tea Leaf
“Give thanks for unknown blessings that are already on the way.”
(It Doesn’t Matter Two – Martin Gore – Depeche Mode)
Great to wildly harmonize with!
(What Was I Made For – Billie Ellish)
Spun About
When you smack a compass hard, does it reorient?
(The End – Elderbrook, Live From Colorado)
Mainframe
I will let these injuries provide access to deeper levels of healing.
Renewed Battling
I ask myself why I am so reactive, frustrated, and lashy privately, whereas I did not exhibit these emotions while visiting my parents recently.
Maybe it is because I was cocooned by their support temporarily. Being with them provided a respite and buffer for me to ease through shock.
Now, it is up to me to reclaim everything.
(Sin – Nine Inch Nails)
Anti-Pathy
I do not currently consider myself fun to be around. Pain’s inflammation chases joy away.
(Title play with words)
More Gaps In The System
IF an insurance company provides for a rental car after an accident, they do not cover the cost of insurance for the rental vehicle, and they do not cover the deposit required to pick up the vehicle.
So, if a person no longer has funds due to injuries from the accident preventing them from returning to work (= loss of income), that person is simply SOL.
Dear Alex,
We are both visionaries, sent to help humanity.
I am struggling to keep my island intact while helping the world from the inside-out as I can.
You already have your core base established, and thus, have a broader reach for positive influence.
Resurrection
To be reborn
One must die:
Not physicaly, but
Prior definitively.
