Candid Corvid Productions

It is interesting that in my ex-husband’s history, the King Of Scotland married a Pictish princess whom also was denied love and disparaged.

After watching the video sequence from Clann, I cried and cried because my original soul bond story with my ex-husband was so similar, yet in the end, he never came back to me – and in fact, made me “the enemy.”

I dreamed last night that I passed by him at some busy event and stopped to thank him with tears of heartfelt emotion streaming from my eyes.

He had been one of the main positive male/father role models that I could count on as a child.

By the characters he chose to play, he gave me strength to cling to my higher moral values and to maintain the belief that love and kindness should always be at the core of any answer.

(Little House On The Prarie, etc.)

It can keep a true believer caught in a web of another’s deceit – of which there is no ending.

Jaunty gents.

He refused to let her help him truly recover, so she turned away from the healing profession – hoping to avoid further conflict and to be given a chance for them to find a new way to thrive together. However, this wish was never granted.

I have become very proficient at leaving when I realize that I am not valued.

Most people do not notice nor understand the undercurrents – and to be with a man, I would most likely slip (as they have) back into denial.

Fighting two infections but determined to get to work to make rent, I turn off the waking alarm and misread the message as saying, “All dreams are now off.” Kind of my life’s current situation.

“I must rely on adults to keep me safe – yet, every move I make has a consequence.”

“But, you haven’t seen the darkness in me – the terrible, terrible ugly…”

A cell’s job is to retain internal “homeostasis.”

It is designed to resist exiting and entrance.

It is not always guaranteed that its’ holding something within is either good for itself, or the contents.

(Title of multiple meanings)

A peer lost his family’s puppy to a sock and a loved one lost theirs to gut torsion.

Last week, our wolf tore her toenail, and today our hound dismantled her plastic cushion mat.

I am unsure if pieces are in her belly.

I have given – more than I should have been required to.

Because what I gave was not returned even halfway (and in fact, my “reward” ensured that I was devastated), I have no personal experience of a healthy partnership being a possibility for me.

I see and hear about it for others – but in this, my life has not been easy.

Doppelganger versions of my ex-fiance have been appearing in too close vicinities to me.

I find it hilarious – yet, not funny at all.

What is the intention here?

I am not interested.

I’m appalled!

Behind our home is an open meadow with trees that have seen many seasons.

For once, it would be wonderful if humans did not have to build over it.

In these brief moments, my time with you is real.

“What do you want from me?” she asked quietly.

“Everything,” he replied.

They get more clear when the fears settle and anxiety yields to love’s candor.

It comes to a point where my will must just push against internal and external resistance – rather than expecting to understand the reasons for it.

I did not realize how stand-offish Californians were until I moved away from there.

Still, it would be nice to again visit and feel a part of my life’s origin culture.

Pretenses that move into my sphere irk me when disingenuous – making me want nothing to do with them.

Some things are outdated and no longer apply in “old school. Yet, some values are still relevant and important to retain.

There were none in the other.

When putting on my black sneakers, I emptied one and found the end of a green bean from last night’s vegie baking.

I am beginning to hear it within my own sphere: individuals considering marriage where the married couple lives separately from each other.

A partnership relegated to distance and control- portioned intimacy. How is this different from just being friends?

Rather than purchasing the intestinal cleanse capsules containing cascara sagrada which was sure to harm her more sensitive system, she instead invested in triphala tincture, FOS, and Ojibwa tea.

Avoiding running around unnecessarily.

Dragged through, and then traveling through life, I have met Greats to littles – yet have remained my own anonymity.

No showing up early like a young spring chicken to feed for me!

Nope!

More of a wisened-hen look, “Are you kidding me?” as I slowly saunter.

Come to think of it, maybe I have always retained a bit of cinicism.

Where’s my “me in early teens standing behind a younger Jerry Brown” picture?

(I liked him, but have never trusted politics.)

Pending…