Candid Corvid Productions

She tried to get her head to clear, but her mind was held by his compulsion.

“You’ll be my fortress…could this be our hideaway?”

If you knew me as I know me, you would be just as surprised to see me in my many phases as I am seeing.

Ack!

I feel like I’ve been hit by a wall.

Yeah.

Like it walked right up to me, and smacked me – into full body splay.

Where each person ultimately defines the other as a bonded pair moves through time, held safe within each other’s communion.

Having always been a creature of warmth and love, the chains had become her comfort in absence of company – even as they had ground into her skin and bruised her confidence.

She still could feel the sense of their press, though they’d been broken off and left to moulder those years ago.

She worried that she must be sick to have part of her crave them, because even as they’d limited her, with them she’d grown stronger and had had something to test her will against.

Over time, they had helped provide external boundaries – grounding her consciousness, whereas now her mind could flow freely and absorb too much in any one direction.

Without them, her being craved to find her mate and feel his essence wrap around her and fill her senses to the degree that she began fearing this great love – as if she were a junkie.

They’d at last become friends, as his heart had been moved to extend to her this compliment.

As they drove along the countryside, he took her hand in his right, while his left held the wheel.

“Do you really believe those dreams were real?” he asked her.

“You know, I really can’t say, anymore…what I do know is that I no longer want to be chasing my own tail over it.”

She half-chuckled ruefully, feeling fatigued and flustered.

“But one thing I do know is that If my right guy is around, it’s his turn to pull on the oars.”

“Fu** You!” she railed at the angels. “How dare you attach my heart to yet another who isn’t mine!”

The angels knew that she had become fragmented and feared for her very soul. Thus, they sent her images of a lover who’d woo her, recognizing that on her path to find him, they’d have time to help her essence reform.

Was it truth that they had crafted – or a lie as some think would be worthy? She often worried about and pondered this, fearing some snap-back when she’d come to the end of this journey.

I remember there were times that the life ran out of me.

No joy.

No hope.

No striving.

I never want to experience that again.

Not for a day.

Not even for a second.

Ever.

This is where I can drive straight “home,” do the unwinding details, and shut down.

Really – I can do that?

I keep forgetting this is an option…

Riding my mother’s tall bicycle with no hands, unless toting my little sister in the seat behind me to the marketplace; coasting down the mainstreet pathways that led away from Alum Rock Park in San Jose; running cross-country in those sulpher mountain cliff-climb windings; dreaming of becoming a raptor rehabilitator- and of a life beyond abuses in captivity.

Even if an idea is the right idea for the right people, if those people are resistant and do not want it – well, that’s its own knot to untangle.

The cats yowling incessantly every cotton-picking split-second is drivimg my calm into insanity!

I think about this song, “Let’s Go,” and remember the kids and I forging our new path of self reclaiming 2011-2012 while listening to it on the radio, driving along Morro Bay and Cayucos coastlines on Highway 1 during Monarch migrations, and going North along 101 for a concert in San Francisco.

The message then is the same now and I can feel it today, permeating my bones strongly. It feels like nothing has really changed, although much has technically been accomplished. We are just farther along on our journies.

“As the person who resonates with Angel Number 855 you are truthful, honest, an authority figure, adventurous, fun-loving, and versatile.”

http://www.mindyourbodysoul.com

They say, “Ignorance is bliss…”

Just because it’s common place
To sell with lies and then deface

Does not condone these actions
As you cheat in the human race.

She worked to reclaim her lost years by reinvention.

She loved numbers that made sense to her.

When she tried to block this new love from her heart, she could feel his pain – magnifying hers.

She didn’t understand what was happening, for on the surface, his feelings for her were disowned.

She finally allowed herself to have a hard time believing in obtaining a relationship “happily ever after.”

From all of the “idiots” she had had to deal with, she no longer was certain she’d find a good man with enough sense to keep her.

It is one thing to have felt disrupted, but another to realize how much the disruption has affected.

When a crow is thinking or agitated, it will do a quick twitch-shuffle movement with its wings as they are folded while it walks. Perhaps this action keeps it on the ready to respond.