
“The Awakening”


Caught up in fighting against resistance as a generality, she couldn’t decide if every effort toward a better future was turned into a ruse to make fun of her, or if time was intentionally making her trip and go slower so that she would align to dock perfectly with the unknown future.
Her mother had sent her some birthday money, which was a cherished gift.
She ended up giving it to the scammer because of her generous, caring spirit.
She did it to prove to the universe that she was willing to again invest in love.
She didn’t mind being responsible for everything,
She just wanted the love and comfort they’d shared.
But, perhaps this imbalance doomed the relationship.
Trying again as fall face forward,
Wondering if I have been wrong.
Money flow is an odd thing in my reality.
It doesn’t always go how I want it – but then sometimes arrives, just as I need it.
Like a tax return that I hoped to have for a deposit arriving just when income from work slows and the cat needs an emergency vet visit.
It can be frustrating how I seem to have no actual control – except for how to use what is given to me.
To this day, all pressure is put on the female of the species – which is designed more sensitively – to atone for abuse, rape, and/or incest, and to manage pregnancy without much (if any) protection or support by the male of the species, whose seed is responsible for the germination of the eggs carried within her.
She had to decide when very young: would she conform, be taken – and thus, belong? Or would she stand apart as haven for others searching?
Those who make it out to tell the tales have still been seen as pariahs, even in their own families.
For adults’ crimes against them, children are punished by and excluded from society.
They beat you down when
You fight for your rights:
By now, we should not
Accept the violence.
The little girl was thence banned from all participation and associations. Worst of all, she wasn’t believed. More children would be hurt because the elder men were esteemed at the pool parties.
Burned every time I have reached for you:
Message received, on bent knee I submit.
In my ancestry, atrocities have been committed against the innocent.
From a grandmother being stuffed upon birth into a garbage can because she was a girl born in Sicily (then rescued by her mother) to more current abuses done to my parents in their childhood and brought into my childhood by male predators, I have experienced and borne witness.
As I grew, I couldn’t help myself but I kept an eye open for other children in need and tried to champion and protect them. Sometimes my efforts helped, while other times I could only give them the message that they were seen, valid, and we would each some day find our freedom.
As an adult, I was determined to ensure that my children would never experience such horrors and was able to keep them safe even beyond their teenage years when our family’s stability was shattered.
I believed that when two people join in partnership as adults, they have an opportunity to support each other in healing from past traumas and to share a new vision of joy ‘s destination that they may embark upon together and co-create.
But, if the wounds are too thick and repeatedly avoided, and if society is still rife with sick and abominational perceptions that it is ok to weild violence against humanity, we must align ourselves with those who share our philosophies to keep encroaching darkness from succeeding.
With awareness, they both entered
But disagreed on the destination
And how they should get there.
She prayed for a miracle:
He was alive, not present.
We all begin as someone less than perfect
Yet may each work to ensure improvement.
Resistant muscles strain against tension
Hoisting the sails to catch summer winds,
Propelling their ship into abundant waters.
Physical therapy appointments and other health care that I have needed are finally in the works!
As in giving birth, healing is not always easy. There are painful contractions and much resistance to release. The body clamps down upon what it has gestated, unsure if it is safe to let it go.
Wounds have a way of stacking up as scar tissue layered over the original cut, which may have never healed completely.
I have seen wonderful, creatively intelligent men fall when they’ve encountered traumatic psychological or physical incidences.
When they have chosen to turn away from themselves and to not fight towards full recovery, they became lost to me.
Not just because they pushed me hard away, but because they gave up their own identities.
Some things, you can’t take back.
Some things, you never forgive.
It comes down to patterns of behavior.
Ideals and philosophies are important in relativity.
But, without mutual dedication to pursuing outcomes, connection disintegrates.
The killer of love and justice.
Though the pain of losses raged and entropic demons tormented, fire of spirit honed a will more tenacious than his own to champion their love when circumstances kept tearing it assunder.
Bringing light into the world in the form of children, protecting them from the blight of predatory darkness – these sustained and continuously re-innovated efforts take nothing less than a warrior’s spirit determined to right the wrongs in the world by at least giving her cubs their own chances for new beginnings.
I had just graduated from the healing arts school and was entering into the field as an independent professional when my life-mate partner became disabled from a motorcycle accident.
We were in our early twenties. The accident was life-altering and set us down a spiral path which never allowed our broken connection with each other to amend and recover.
They had finally arrived at the concert in the evening, but she had been foolish to indulge him.
He now resented the fact that she still wanted to attend and refused to go in with her.
She walked in late, conflicted, and sought their seats. She knew she couldn’t stay. She would be paying for it.
The rush of energy as the band came on – something she’d been offered and had to turn down when a teen, now gifted by her best friend – was denied again.
As the crowd surged to the music, she walked the perimeter and main isles, ignoring the guards’ line-of-sight restrictions while taking in the color and vibrance of the band.
It felt like a hole had been torn in her center and that a great wind was blowing through it.
As she turned to leave with her heart wrenching, Duran Duran’s lead singer asked her the questions “Who do you need? Who do you love when you come undone?”
She knew that it could no longer be the false hope to which she’d always clung.
You are my hope for a new day,
Ever drawing me into the future.

Zoom to lower left quadrant to see planet.
They had been preparing for months as the lucky few chosen randomly from the public community pool to take the rocket into space as a feat of glory furthering advances of the human race.
There were supposed to be many people on the crew, but the corporation cut back on supports because they wanted details kept secret. They decided to use just one person and preprogrammed automation to transfer the package to the nearby planet.
However, the more the woman chosen for the project researched, the more she realized that the contents being delivered might put all of life at risk if any complications occurred during transference.
As the launch date neared, she insisted that the full feam be restored to the project so that their collective input could ensure successful outcome.
With many knowlegeable minds contributing perspective and experience, benefit could be more productively magnified.